Need help-Stressing as you get closer to the date

Hi girls. Need to talk to someone and I figured that you would all be the best friends to talk to...
I've mentioned this b4 but fh suffers from depression & social anxiety and b/c he doesnt have health ins. he doesnt get any help for it.
Anyway, the social anxiety has been a total killer throughout our wedding planning and we were discussing some of the issues at dinner and he started freaking out. Not yelling but you can tell he was almost having a panic attack. I feel terrible. He never wanted to invite as many people as I did and for once I was being selfish and did what I wanted. I know its my day and I have a right to invite who I want but he started crying....yes, crying. Am I an aweful person? I feel terrible.

Oh sweetie....no. You're not terrible for inviting more people than he originally wanted. We all want to be a little 'selfish' for our weddings. And you had every right to--its your wedding day and you only do it once. And I bet he wanted you to do what you really wanted and he's probably trying really hard to suppress his anxiety. The best thing you can do is work with him on his social anxiety between now and the wedding. Talk to him about what gets him anxious. Some exposure to these things between now and then will help him for that big day....and more importantly, he'll see how much you care

I dont think youa re wrong..

Will he be able to enjoy the wedding with his social anxiety and depression? If not he should prob go to a Dr. now. At this point you will be married in about 2-3 months, but then Im guessing he will go uinder your ins? This might be a good time for him to start paying out of pocket to see a dr. they can prescribe him something and hiopefully by the wedding they will have found the right dosage.

Other than that, i don't think you are at fault for wanting the wedding of your dreams, his psychological issue is holding him back from enjoying it with you.

I've been there with health insurance issues..... but I can honestly tell you it's not worth it for him to suffer just to save several hundred $$. I know it's really difficult to flip bills like that right now... but I'm in a similar situation with dental bills right now and somehow the money can still be shuffled about sufficiently... ($2.5k and counting in out of pocket expenses after a good deal of oral surgery since january)

He should find a therapist and figure out some coping mechanisms.... also, he can get some dvds on amazon for meditation, to help him calm down... but therapy remains a must!!!

good luck, and I hope he feels better

I suffer from depression and extreme anxiety.

Please FM me if you need to talk. Maybe I can help...

Have you tried a mental health clinic? I don't know where you are located but Long Island University has a clinic in Roslyn, that works on a sliding scale, so sessions can be as inexpensive as $10. FM for contact info.. Hope everything turns out ok!

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Posted by AeroJenn

Oh sweetie....no. You're not terrible for inviting more people than he originally wanted. We all want to be a little 'selfish' for our weddings. And you had every right to--its your wedding day and you only do it once. And I bet he wanted you to do what you really wanted and he's probably trying really hard to suppress his anxiety. The best thing you can do is work with him on his social anxiety between now and the wedding. Talk to him about what gets him anxious. Some exposure to these things between now and then will help him for that big day....and more importantly, he'll see how much you care

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You're not an awful person, but the best thing you can do is not to try to deal with this yourself. He needs to talk to a doctor about this.

My brother also suffers from social anxiety disorder and it was a big issue when his wedding was coming up. It's a chemical imbalance and medication may be NECESSARY to help it. Do some searching on the internet - there should be depression / social anxiety disorder resources out there for people without health insurance. If not, this is one of those times it's important to go see and talk to a doctor - even without health insurance. You can't mess around with stuff like this - it's serious!

Good luck! I'm sure everything will be fine -- my brother made it through his wedding beautifully!

ETA - The stress of wedding planning and the idea of being up there having to speak in front of so many people at the ceremony can certainly exacerbate the anxiety... Medication may help in the short term even if not needed long term, but PLEASE DO NOT let his depression and social anxiety disorder go untreated. That would be a real tragedy. Take some of the wedding $ if you have to, but he needs treatment. I'm not even saying he needs extensive or super-expensive treatment, but he needs something. Now.

Oh no you're not terrible for inviting people.

FH's brother suffers from social anxiety disorder and is bipolar. He is the Best Man. I know how difficult it can be. He's usually on medication, but sometimes he decides that he doesn't need them and becomes a handful.

This is serious and insurance or not, he should go see somebody. The stress is also more than likely making it worse. He may need medication, but the important thing is that he seek help. There are plenty of places he can go that charge you on a sliding scale. Don't try to deal with it alone.