I had a pretty negative experience w/one of my BM's going dress 'looking' for the wedding. Basically, she didn't like anything she tried on b/c she's self conscious about everything - either it's too short, too long, too tight, not flattering, etc....
I've picked six dresses that I like, and was thinking of sending the pictures of each dress to all of them, and having them pick their favorite, and then pick the majority from there.
I mentioned this to one of my other BM's, and she's like 'it's fine w/me, but each one has to try it on to make sure it fits them well and that it's suited to their body type.'
I completely understand this, but I really don't want to go through this ordeal again. It was a lot w/just one BM, now I have to go to the salon w/six of them???
Is this okay for me to do? Did you do this, and how did it turn out?
Here are the dresses that I want to have them select from
I honestly think they're all flattering on every body type.
tjs
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
omg BM , I had the same situation refused to wear strapless then we decided ok put straps on it, then it was the straps were to thin needed thicker to find a suitable bra> I am sooooooo fed up I cant take it anymore finally we all decided on a dress becuase i couldnt take it .do i like the dress? its ok, not my first choice.....but the problem was all my Bm are heavy so i took this into consideration i want them to feel comfortable but i also have a say!!!!! i have never seen anything like it any wedding i was in i wore what i was told!!!! FH told me to put my foot down and say this is what you are wearing end of discussion....that sounds like what you need to do, all of those dresses are very pretty if you have heavier people in your Bp i would tend to pick the dresses with the thicker straps. Trust me they need to compromise also!!!! I feel for you!!!!
ChrissynRicky
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
Thanks! I thought I was the only one going through this. I didn't want to be named a 'Bridezilla' if I chose the dress.
SuzBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
Ugh - I have the same problem with my BM (ok mainly my MOH). I think giving them SO many options is more than generous (and the styles you picked out seem like they would flatter most body types). Good luck!
tjs
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
lol no i wish i would have put my foot down that is just not me though ! I think I would never tell the bride I refuse to wear something!!! I was looking for corset style to match my dress this is what we ended up with! then toi top it off everybody has their order in but my future sil she refuses to order because she wants to lose weight can u believe? as she comes over and stuffs her face
i have never seen anything like it any wedding i was in i wore what i was told!!!!
I think you should do the same thing....all the dresses you have chosen are beautiful. Also, that's why they will be altered after they come in....to fit each girl's shape. If you open up for input, there is the possibility that everyone is going to like something different and then you'll really be in a bind. My cousin who is getting married in September never gave me a choice for my dress, which is fine. It's your wedding....choose what you want. Good luck!! Keep us updated
allymike
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
I definitely agree that your BM is being alittle unresaonable. On a good note, I took all 5 of my BM with me to the store dress shopping and we had a great time. They all took turns trying on dresses and came to a consensus on what they liked. This way none of them can complain later. Just a thought...good luck!
MissingTheBGene
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
I responded on the '06 board and I added the 'I know this is going to sound like I'm a total Bridezilla but you are doing them a favor by giving them the option...' and I'm glad to hear others shared my thoughts! LOL
With BM dresses today flattering many body types, I can't imagine why they wouldn't be able to find something, I agree that the BM is being just a wee bit too picky here.
SuzBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
Posted by tjs
lol no i wish i would have put my foot down that is just not me though ! I think I would never tell the bride I refuse to wear something!!! I was looking for corset style to match my dress this is what we ended up with! then toi top it off everybody has their order in but my future sil she refuses to order because she wants to lose weight can u believe? as she comes over and stuffs her face
Ugh - I agree. I would never even think of complaining about a gown that the bride picked out for me. My MOH (sister) keeps telling me if I put her in something she doesn't like, she'll make me pay when she gets married (meanwhile, it isn't like i'm doing 80s style puffy sleaves, she just refuses to wear strapless, anything shorter than ankle length, pink, coral, yellows or flower print )
cantwait2bewed
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
This is a problem that I refuse to have with my BM's. They are all the same body type so its ok, but its your wedding and people shouldnt make a big fuss over a dress. Allof those dresses look like they will fit well on every body type. If your BM's are of different sizes. Take two BM's with u of different size and have them try on the dresses. Please do not let this get to u. Remember it is your wedding.
cjb88
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
coming from being a bridesmaid before... I dont think i would ever ask one of my girls to wear a dress that they dont feel comfortable in... I had to wear a dress that I hated for my uncles wedding and I was miserable the entire time... didnt feel comfortable enought to get up and dance or anything... it made me regret saying yes to being a bridesmaid... so when i went looking for dresses with my girls I left the option open for them to get different style dresses, in the same color... it just so happened that they all liked the same dress when we went shopping...
i also think it is important that all of your girls try on the dress before you officailly put in an order... what may look good on the hanger may not look good on them... it is hard to tell from just looking at pictures... if you dont want to go with all of them, give them the dress style numbers and have them try them on on their own time and give you a list of their favorite to least favorite...
hope that helps to see it from the other side as well!!
GoingNutty
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
I have 8 girls and tried as much as possible to find something they all liked. I tried to put myself in their position throughout the entire sitiuation. I know if I hated a dress (which I do for another friends wedding) I would be miserable the whole night. They are spending a lot of money on the dresses and to me, should be as comfortable as possible. I know it is impossible to please all but pleasing the majority is a good idea. They should have somewhat of a say, although not completely demanding... JMHO!
MissingTheBGene
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
cjb88 and GoingNutty - I completely agree with what both of you had said, but honestly, I don't think that Christine wants them to be in something that they will be miserable in, and is showing that she wants to offer as many choices as possible, but you're right that pleasing all of them will be difficult. I think in this case, all the dresses she selected, I can't really see why they would be so uncomfortable and upset, unless she was putting them in a straight-jacket as well, or asking them to order a something 2 sizes too small. I think it's mostly a clashing of tastes and personal styles. Would it really kill them if they wore a dress they thought was too long for them or something similar to that effect? Is how they feel about a particular style of a dress more important than their friendship to the bride? This is what I think of when I've been a bridesmaid.
I know I'm reaching a bit here, and I agree with what everyone is saying (I myself told my girls they will be picking their own dresses and I just pick the color) but it all comes down to compromise.
DayBeforeThanksgiving
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
Not sure if someone mentioned this already (didn't read all of the above) but I think you should pick out one dress and allow them to get different styles of the dress. (Some strapless, some halter, some spagetti straps) It's usually a nice idea if all of the girls want something different. This way you have the dress you want, but they can fit it to the way they want. But one last thing----
THIS IS YOUR WEDDING!!! NOT THEIRS!!!! Don't let them take over your decision. Make sure that you are completely happy with the end results before agreeing to anything!
N.Y.bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Help w/BM Dresses...Should I do it?
I had one BM who I picked the dress specifically for, and my sister ordered hers and then she backed out. If it wasnt for her I probably would have picked something much nicer - one I liked!
I think you should just pick one and say deal with it - its my wedding.
