I just got engaged over our Mexico vacation, which was great and beautiful! Now that I'm back and I have to start planning, I'm getting a little frustrated as to my bridal party. I have 2 sisters, which are in it, and my fiance has 2 sisters and an old enough niece (15) who would have to be in it. That leaves no room for my friends. He's not too helpful in the situation and says it's up to me (doesn't really care about who's in the bridal party). Should I just keep my bridesmaids to my family? Has anyone or is anyone in this situation?
I was going to have my 2 sisters, his one sister (16 y/o) and 4 best friends, but that leaves out his oldest sister and her daughter (36 y/o and 15 y/o). I know I'm just seeing my side of it, and my brother is part of his groomsmen, I just need to hear if I'm wrong.
Thank you
mds110286
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
hi and congrats! i have two sisters and FH has two sisters and a brother. My bridal party is my two sisters and two friends, i did not include his sisters in it. One sister is going to be a reader and the other has two kids who will be ring bearer and flower girl so we found a different way to include them. HTH!
Zola84
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
Thanks! See that's the thing. I'm going to have his older sister's daughters (one junior BM and one a flower girl) and her son is going to be groomsboy(or whatever you call him, he's 12 or 13). I just feel horrible because once we came back from vaca, she bought a cake to celebrate and I love her, she's always been great to me, but then I can't include friends. I'm not even including my brother's wife bc I know she won't really care whether she's in it or not, and I honestly don't know if they're coming because they live overseas and money is tight! I'm just way stressing over it!!!!!
LindsaylovesJustin
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
Why don't you ask the older sister and her daughter to be readers.
Pick out a bible verse or poem or something short and sweet for them to read during the ceremony.
mds110286
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
you have some time to think about it, you dont have to ask anyone to be in your bridal party right away. why cant you have both your friends and family in the party?
Zola84
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
I like the readers idea, I'll let my fiance know about that one!
Here's the thing, if I have my fam AND friends, that'll be 9 girls, then 9 guys, that's 20 adults, not including flower girl and ring boy. I officially asked my sister to be my MOH, but that's as far as it went. He also asked his brother to be BM. No one else. I just want to finalize it. I also want to check out Westbury Manor, it looks pretty online and the people were so nice on the phone. Prices were good too.
How many readers are usually at the wedding?
mds110286
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
i think theres usually two? but im sure you can do whatever you want!
If you have really close friends, I would choose them over FH's sisters. Also, this is just my opinion, but I definitely wouldn't be having a 15 year old as a BM unless it was my own sister. I agree with the suggestion of having his sisters as readers, and if you're super close w/ the 15 year old, you could make her a jr. bridesmaid.
LoveyDovey
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
please please wait a bit before you choose your BMs!
If I could do it over again, I would have done it so differently! I would have just had my sister and one other family member!
There are many girls on here would probably agree with me on this one! Wait as long as you can to choose your BP or keep it only family!
My fh has 2 sisters and 2 sister in laws, I only put one sister in my BP, the one i was closest to.
believe it or not some ppl may be thankful you didnt put them in, do not put anyone in your BP bc you feel you 'have' to
make sure you choose ppl who really want to be in it, understand the financial obligations, time obligations and FRIEND obligations! pick ppl that are always there for you, genuinely happy for you and would be genuinely happy to be in your BP
you will be surprise how much heart ache a bridal party can cause you
im not trying to be a debbie downer, just being honest...wish someone gave me this advice when I was picking my BP
think it through...get a hall and a date, pick your dress...and when its time to do BM dress shopping around the 8-6month mark, then choose!
HTH!
dunnkat
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
Posted by LoveyDovey
please please wait a bit before you choose your BMs!
If I could do it over again, I would have done it so differently! I would have just had my sister and one other family member!
There are many girls on here would probably agree with me on this one! Wait as long as you can to choose your BP or keep it only family!
My fh has 2 sisters and 2 sister in laws, I only put one sister in my BP, the one i was closest to.
believe it or not some ppl may be thankful you didnt put them in, do not put anyone in your BP bc you feel you 'have' to
make sure you choose ppl who really want to be in it, understand the financial obligations, time obligations and FRIEND obligations! pick ppl that are always there for you, genuinely happy for you and would be genuinely happy to be in your BP
you will be surprise how much heart ache a bridal party can cause you
im not trying to be a debbie downer, just being honest...wish someone gave me this advice when I was picking my BP
think it through...get a hall and a date, pick your dress...and when its time to do BM dress shopping around the 8-6month mark, then choose!
HTH!
ITA !!! no need to rush , I didnt listen to others advice to take my time and I regret it.
Jmrosa1
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Member since
Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
Posted by LoveyDovey
please please wait a bit before you choose your BMs!
If I could do it over again, I would have done it so differently! I would have just had my sister and one other family member!
There are many girls on here would probably agree with me on this one! Wait as long as you can to choose your BP or keep it only family!
My fh has 2 sisters and 2 sister in laws, I only put one sister in my BP, the one i was closest to.
believe it or not some ppl may be thankful you didnt put them in, do not put anyone in your BP bc you feel you 'have' to
make sure you choose ppl who really want to be in it, understand the financial obligations, time obligations and FRIEND obligations! pick ppl that are always there for you, genuinely happy for you and would be genuinely happy to be in your BP
you will be surprise how much heart ache a bridal party can cause you
im not trying to be a debbie downer, just being honest...wish someone gave me this advice when I was picking my BP
think it through...get a hall and a date, pick your dress...and when its time to do BM dress shopping around the 8-6month mark, then choose!
HTH!
OMG I soooo agree!!! I had a short engagement so didnt have time to wait...but do not feel obligated to put people in it. I felt obligated to put FH sister and she has caused me the most stress beause she did not understand any of the obligations...and once explained to her said yes...and guess what has done absolutely NOTHING!!!! Financially or otherwise. And a friend I thought would be helpful who is unreliable in her own life has translated to be the same to my wedding. If I could re-do it I would for sure and keep it small to keep my headache small!
KristenandTom101212
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
Choose whoever you feel should be in it. I have two sisters and my FH has two sister and I have 5 really good friends from high school.. I couldn't choose between family and friends. So I just have one huge wedding party. So far I havent had any problems with it being so big. (I know its going to be a killer when I have to get them thier gifts haha)
kshea23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
Posted by LoveyDovey
please please wait a bit before you choose your BMs!
If I could do it over again, I would have done it so differently! I would have just had my sister and one other family member!
There are many girls on here would probably agree with me on this one! Wait as long as you can to choose your BP or keep it only family!
My fh has 2 sisters and 2 sister in laws, I only put one sister in my BP, the one i was closest to.
believe it or not some ppl may be thankful you didnt put them in, do not put anyone in your BP bc you feel you 'have' to
make sure you choose ppl who really want to be in it, understand the financial obligations, time obligations and FRIEND obligations! pick ppl that are always there for you, genuinely happy for you and would be genuinely happy to be in your BP
you will be surprise how much heart ache a bridal party can cause you
im not trying to be a debbie downer, just being honest...wish someone gave me this advice when I was picking my BP
think it through...get a hall and a date, pick your dress...and when its time to do BM dress shopping around the 8-6month mark, then choose!
HTH!
I agree!!!!!
I had DH's cousin in my BP because he doesn't have any close siblings (we just reunited with his half siblings). She was the WORST! Never returned phone calls back from my mom and MOH about planning my shower, made it seem it was such a big deal about BM dress shopping, stayed for only AN HOUR AT MY BACHELORETTE PARTY, and lost her DOJ for the wedding (which I had to order her ANOTHER set so she could match all the girls).
After the wedding, her and I barely speak. I wish I wouldve saved the time, effort, tears and frustration and NOT have asked her.
jassy119
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
My advice to u is to pick who YOU want to be in the BP. Dont feel like u have to include anyone u dont want or feel u have to include FHs family. If you want them to be in your wedding then thats your choice and thats great but dont feel like u must do anything. Also like previous posts stated u can include them in other ways.. u can have them do a reading. Another idea is to have them be your 'something blue'. They come to your wedding dressed in blue and they can do their reading or give a speech at the wedding, hand out programs, etc..
IrishAli
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
You might want to think about just having your sisters...
We had my sister and DH's brother and even they caused drama! I can't imagine what 9 of them would have been like!
We had his 3 friends be ushers and my cousin and 2 friends be readers, and that was nice since they weren't pressured to buy dresses, etc and they could just enjoy the day
KristyANDMatt224
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
Posted by LindsaylovesJustin
Why don't you ask the older sister and her daughter to be readers.
Pick out a bible verse or poem or something short and sweet for them to read during the ceremony.
THIS or hand out programs. There are plenty of jobs to extend to her
KevinErin
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Re: Need help with Choosing Bridesmaids!
I ended up having a huge bridal party. We didn't want to leave anybody out and decided we're only doing this once. We just thought it would be easy to include everybody. It costs me a little more in the end with gifts but this way nobody is hurt. I, like you should consider yourself lucky to be blessed with so many people that love you.
