I just posted this on the Brides 06 board but I could use anyone's advice.
FI wanted the ceremony in the same place as the reception - which was fine with me. My only concern was that we wouldn't have the time in between the ceremony and the cocktail hour to take pictures. I had always wanted him to see me for the first time walking down the aisle.
Now with everything at the same place everyone (catering manager, photographer, videographer) are suggesting it would be better to take pictures etc. before - so I would see him before the ceremony.
I am kind of torn about this. I mean I don't want to miss the whole cocktail hour taking pictures and it might be easier to see him before hand b/c I am walking down the aisle by myself and if I see him before I might not be so nervous.
Not sure what to do... what do you think?
All opinions welcomed - please!
R&J0806
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do the pictures before so you can enjoy your CH. Look at it like this...your FH will gasp and be in awe no matter when he sees you. So now it will just be a little earlier.
kmkelly
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We're doing the same thing.
We're going to have a 'first sighting' type of thing where we see each other for the first time, all dressed up, in the hotel lobby getting ready to leave to go to do pictures before ceremony. It will be a semi-private moment caught by photographers and videographer.
pigs222seal
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Posted by kmkelly
We're doing the same thing.
We're going to have a 'first sighting' type of thing where we see each other for the first time, all dressed up, in the hotel lobby getting ready to leave to go to do pictures before ceremony. It will be a semi-private moment caught by photographers and videographer.
Same here.....I was torn at first, but just exepted it, I know how you feel
Mayflower
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i agree; i've seen it done really well and the moment captured really well when the photographers are able to set up a intimate meeting somewhere for hte bride and groom to see each other.
i think i saw some great photos of that moment in the must-recreate thread
scappy123
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FH and i will see each other before, i have come to accept it and I am ok with it now. I would almost rather have our first sighting of each other in a semi private setting, rather than walking down the aisle in front of everyone.
Goldi1021
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We did a 'first sighting' picture too. The moment was ours alone and was very initmate and special. It is a part of our culture to see each other beforehand. Honestly, despite the fact that he had already seen me before I walked down the aisle, the drama of it being real does not take away from the emotions you feel towards each other that day. you shouldn't miss your party because of pictures!
MJDoc12
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do what YOU want. you have to do what feels best for you and your FH. taking pics before the ceremony is a great way for you to not miss your CH....a lot of girls do this, so you would not be alone. it may calm your nerves a bit, and make it that much easier for both you and FH.
that being said, if you are not comfortable with this--then you have to ask yourself whether or not you want to enjoy your CH. myself personally, i will NOT be seeing FH b4 the ceremony, and we will take our pics during the CH. perhaps it's a cultural thing--i dunno...but in my family/culture, you just DO NOT see the bride during the CH anyway. i wasn't planning on being there at all--instead after the ceremony, we are having a very grand entrance into the reception.
so the big question becomes...are you okay with missing your CH? or would you rather have that special moment that you see each other be before the ceremony and get all the pics out of the way? i think you and FH really need to sit down and figure this out. don't just decide to do pics beforehand, because the hall and vendors are trying to tell you to do it---do what makes you feel comfortable!!
Mikeysgirl
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Why don't you explain to your FI the picture situation. Usually men don't think about the pictures so this may be a fact that he overlooked. He may be thinking that it would be more convinient for all the guests if the reception was at the same location as the reception. Maybe he wouldn't mind having the ceremony at a different place and have a gap of a few hours so you can take pictures. This way you get to see him at the ceremony, take pictures and catch your cocktail hour. Good Luck!
coxmandi
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If you know exactly what pictures you want, you can do it all.
DH and I did not see each other before the ceremony, and we too got married at the chapel on our reception hall grounds. The photographer came 2 hours before the wedding and did all the pictures that didn't involve DH and I together. We did every other picture combination beforehand. If you don't need a lot of walking around or traveling for pictures, then a good photographer should be able to take about 30-40 minutes after the ceremony and knock out the other pictures. You just need to make sure everyone knows where they have to be, and that you aren't wasting any time.
DH and I made it to the last 15 minutes of cocktail hour.
Tria1110
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Thanks for all of the great advice! And support. It is nice to know others have wrestled with the same problem.
Maybe I'll extend the cocktail hour...
heatherfaith
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im doing the same thing. I really don't want fh to see me untill I am walking down the aisle. this is very important to me. so my photographer is taking all pics of me with my family and me with bms before the church and same with fh at his house. then we will take all the pics of us together after. my photographer promised me that we would be at the end of our cocktail hr.
VadersBride2006
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We are having our ceremony and reception at the same place also. I am opting NOT to have pics done before b/c our wedding is soooo informal to begin with I am trying to keep as much tradition as I can while still being true to myself. I must agree with the other posters who say do what feels right to YOU. Good Luck!
Edited to add: Our photographer is also very informal, she 's more photojournalistic than formal and I don't expect to be taking pics all day.
Mrs. dleeny
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I understand how you feel and at first, I also wanted my DH to see me for the 1st time walking down the aisle.
but I have to tell you, deciding to take pics before our ceremony was the BEST decision!! we spent about 3 hours taking pics at the hall and they are SO GORGEOUS! we have 100's of pics from those hours and they're my absolute favorites my photographer staged our 1st meeting and it was VERY special! he captured it all on film - the tears and all.
and the other benefit, we didn't miss any part of the wedding we worked SO HARD to plan
ETA: just wanted to add that seeing my husband before the ceremony REALLY helped calm my nerves. I was SO nervous (I hate being the center of attention) and spending those hours with him was amazing!! and yet another plus.... there was no rush AT ALL. we all took our time and experimented with different shots. We took water breaks, scouted the grounds for unique backgrounds, it was so much fun!! And no one was watching the clock. I would highly recommend doing it that way.
sarahradio5
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I would definitely extend the cocktail hour... or at least ask your reception site if you can have an extra half hour or so of 'stall time' before the cocktail hour to be able to serve the guests champagne. My place has a 'living room' lounge, type area, where guests can hang out before the cocktail hour, and they'll serve the guests champagne there. Then they go into the coctail hour for the food.
If you do that... plus extend the cocktail hour, you'll have at LEAST 2 hours to take pics, and even make some of your cocktail hour.
I hear you on not taking pics before the wedding. I want my FH to be the first to see me, too. STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Don't let ANYONE talk you into anything... especially about a 'superstition' or a 'special moment' like the doors of the church opening to show you to your FH in your wedding dress for the first time. wow... I just got goose bumps!
Good luck!
o17range
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I was going to suggest just what you thought of....extend the cocktail hour if you REALLY don't want to see your FH before the ceremony. That's only if you can afford it!
dani18
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I totally understand where you are coming from. I was torn for like two months before i made my final decision. Our guests are all from the Long Island/Queens area and our reception is going to be in new rochelle. Originally we were going to get maried at a church in Queens.....leave 2 hours plus for pics....and then the reception. I too wanted to see my FH for the first time when i walked down the isle. Then we fell in love with a church in new rochelle....and there is no way i was goign to have my guests wait around for two hours while i took pictures....so NOW we are definately taking pictures beforehand. Attending my CH and pictures are more important than seeing fh for the first time at church. GO for it! You'll be less stressed and you can have you FH meet you somewhere alone (just with the Cameras) the first time you see each other. it will be just as memorable and beautiful!
good luck!
sr081906
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Ceremony: 12:30-1:00 CH: 1-2 Reception: 2----
I am not seeing FH before the ceremony. In order for us to do that and still attend most of the CH, photographer suggested starting a lot of the photos before the ceremony.
We are still not seeing each other. He will take photos of FH, best man, and his side of the family.
He will take photos of me getting ready, with my family, MOH, etc..
Then after the ceremony, we will take all the photos together. It should take about 20 minutes.
Blu-ize
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Best decision I ever made was getting the pics done before the ceremony. The photographer convinced us that the pics would come out so much better if they weren't rushed.
She even suggested doing a shoot days before! Well, no, that was out of the question.
But we had 3 hrs of pics before at my aunts beautiful home and was able to eat a little and relax in between photos.
I had my whole family there and it was very relaxed and enjoyable.
Our photographer even experiemented with poses and lighting since we had some time and our pictures came out amazing.
We still caught the moment on film (even though it didn't make it into our album. Our videographer was there too and he got the video of it!
We only took a handful of 'formal pics' at the reception and didn't cut into any of our CH or party time.
I would do it again in a heartbeat!
BHW
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I responded on the other board, but I wanted to add one more thing. DH and I were in most of the family shots together. I think I would've been disappointed if all of our family shots were of me with my side and DH with his side. The wedding is about a coming together of families. I'm glad our formal family shots were able to reflect that.
