Need opinions please....(long)

Butterflybride Posted: Mar 12, 2005 10:36 PM

Need opinions please....(long)

Okay, once again, if you don't know my story, DH and I got married in January (deciding to get married early, because I found out I was PG), but we're renewing our vows and having our big reception this May. I never had a wedding shower and even though we're already married, I really wanted to have one before the May wedding, because I feel like I missed out on the experience (it's not even about the presents, mostly just getting together with everybody and having a good time.). That being said, My mother was talking to my MIL on the phone today and mentioned a wedding shower and my MIL said 'She doesn't need a shower, they're already married.' My mother then mentioned how I'd like to have one anyway, because I didn't have one prior to January. Then my MIL went off on how it's unfair to expect people to take the time and money to come to a wedding shower, then the wedding, then a baby shower. At first, I was like, oh who cares, if people don't want to come to all three that's no big deal. Then I got thinking...they'd probably be 3 consecutive months in a row (wedding shower in April, wedding in May, baby shower in June)...I'd probably seem like a pretty selfish b*tch if I did all three. I'd hate to not have a wedding shower, but it looks like I'll have to forget about it. If you were in my position, what would you do? I'll appreciate any opinions! Thank you.

Goldi1021 Posted: Mar 12, 2005 10:48 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

Why not combine your bridal and baby shower? It is just an idea.

steflily Posted: Mar 12, 2005 10:49 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

What about a combined baby and wedding shower? That way your guests wouldn't feel overwhelmed and you get to celebrate both with your family and friends.

Just a thought...

Congratulations and Good Luck!

Butterflybride Posted: Mar 12, 2005 10:50 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

Posted by Goldi1021

Why not combine your bridal and baby shower? It is just an idea.

I actually considered it, but thought it might seem cheesy. Plus the fact that both a wedding and a baby are such special events and should really be celebrated separately.

justshir Posted: Mar 12, 2005 10:52 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

i understnad the back-to-back events may be a bit too much but that still doesn't mean you don't deserve a wedding shower? if you don't want to postpone your wedding shower then have a mini shower where it won't cost much. just keep the guest list to a limited amount and stick to it. maybe this can be a solution? you deserve to have a wed shower... it's not like it's out of realm or reason to have a shower after already wed.. under the circumstance, one would understand. your MIL should be a lil more understanding. *ahem* that's MIL's for ya

g' luck and i hope everything works out! and congratulations on the new addition!

lisad117 Posted: Mar 12, 2005 10:56 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

I think that if you just invite people close to you- then they would want to attend all three even if they are right after one another. Both weddings and babies are things to be celebrated!

JimmysBride Posted: Mar 12, 2005 11:06 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

I really like the idea of the combined baby/wedding shower. As a guest, to be honest, the thought of going to all three events like that back to back would irk me. And yes, I would think it a bit much. I'm not the type to show up without a gift and I would absolutely feel obligated to give at each one. So, I'd probably skip at LEAST one of the parties if not both showers.

If you really don't care about the presents, then you can throw a party for yourself and not call it a shower because a shower by definition means gifts are expected.

But I still prefer the idea of the combined shower. It allows guests to give you a gift for one, the other, or both.

MrsJ Posted: Mar 12, 2005 11:07 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

Posted by Goldi1021

Why not combine your bridal and baby shower? It is just an idea.

I think thats a great idea!

WedHead Posted: Mar 12, 2005 11:09 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

How about doing a bridal luncheon with your closet friends, mother & siblings - instead of a shower?

nov2004bride Posted: Mar 12, 2005 11:11 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

DH's family member is sort of in the same situation. She already had the baby though and they are having a big reception in May. They already had a small reception last May when they got married. They are planning a wedding shower for her now and they just registered.

JMO, I think it is a bit much. They have been married awhile now and already have the baby. I don't like her very much so maybe that is part of it. I think a combined sounds like a great idea as a guest's POV.

Sorry I rambled

sophie78 Posted: Mar 12, 2005 11:16 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

I would forget about the wedding shower. Just focus on the baby shower. Yeah, it is too bad that you missed out. But it doesn't seem right to your guests to have both so close together.

Kelly9904 Posted: Mar 12, 2005 11:34 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

I have to agree I would forgo the wedding shower!

On top of the three you already mentioned consider also that after the baby is born alot of people will want to get you something and then if you have a christening or something. In less than 6 months that could be 5 events! IMO it is alot to ask of your family and friends.

If its just the experience of getting everyone together that ou feel you missed out on, wouldnt a baby shower do the same thing, except with baby gifts?

Butterflybride Posted: Mar 12, 2005 11:41 PM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

Posted by WedHead

How about doing a bridal luncheon with your closet friends, mother & siblings - instead of a shower?

I think this is a GREAT idea. Like I said, it's not about gifts. Thank you.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Mar 13, 2005 12:34 AM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

Posted by am470

I would forget about the wedding shower. Just focus on the baby shower. Yeah, it is too bad that you missed out. But it doesn't seem right to your guests to have both so close together.

I would have to agree...

chachou22 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 12:40 AM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

Posted by Bunnymonkey

Posted by am470

I would forget about the wedding shower. Just focus on the baby shower. Yeah, it is too bad that you missed out. But it doesn't seem right to your guests to have both so close together.

I would have to agree...

I second that

Angeltptb Posted: Mar 13, 2005 12:45 AM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

I can agree with what everyone is saying except that this is a once in a lifetime thing (hopefully ) and I know its not about the gifts but...I have been to so many bridal showers, baby showers, etc. that I wouldn't feel bad about inviting people to mine. Just a thought.

Butterflybride Posted: Mar 13, 2005 12:56 AM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

I decided that I'm just going to do a bridal luncheon. Some immediate family members and friends out to lunch. Luncheon implies get-together, instead of party, so people can come and not feel obligated to bring gifts. Thank you all for your opinions.

busybee705 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 01:11 AM

Re: Need opinions please....(long)

I would either do a combined shower or have the baby shower and an intimate luncheon for the friends and family closest to you.

I agree that three back-to-back events will be a bit too much and that some people will miss on at least one of those. But I don't agree with your MIL. If you always wanted a shower, you should have one. Just because you got married already without one doesn't mean you're not entitled to a belated shower. JMO