need opinions please...shower invite drama

So, a little background, my shower is not a surprise, me and my mom both wanted it that way, i helped pick the place and date. and everything else i wouldn't know about. my mom is paying for the place and favors. FMIL and fsil (moh) offered to help, they offered to get invites, cps, and the cake.

Fsil had asked me what colors i like, so i said since the wedding is black and ivory, i want girly colors for the shower, and i love pink.

so, since i know when my shower is, i knew when the invites were going out, so i was asking my mom, and she said fsil did them, but she never got one.
ok, weird, my mom didn't get one, so i call a bm and ask her, and i find out after asking my mom again that fsil never asked my mom for an rsvp date, so i guess she just made one up and put her name as the rsvp and her number.
so i was kind of upset that in no way was my mom's name on the invite, and she is really hosting. also the invites caem from fil's house with only fsil name on it, so it could seem like they are hosting my shower...

i am really upset, i feel like this invite went out to everyone and my mom went un-noticed...so i feel bad

am i overreacting? does the rsvp and invite not matter?

how would u feel?

ETA: i forgot to mention the invites are also black and white, which is the opposite of what i asked for, i wouldn't even mention this or care if all the other stuff didn't happen

This is hard because I agree with you 100%.

This is it. I think you should give your FSIl the benefit of the doubt so not be angry when you talk to her. She probably is being a B%$tch. But it wont help you if you approach it in that fashion EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULD BE 100% RIGHT!!!

Talk to her. Tell her what you said to us. There is no reason for you to be so upset and not confront her about it. But you can confront/talk to her in a mature dignified way. Tell her you dont understand how all this happened when your mom is throwing the party and she wasnt consulted about the invites, especially when she is paing for it.

IF the FSIL is playing a game you will catch her and stop the drama.

They key is to stop the drama, but DONT be affraid to talk to her about it.

The only thing I would leave alone is the color if the invite. Im not saying its not upsetting to you, but in the grand scheme of things its not something to pick a fight about, IMHO.

Good luck.

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Posted by Juhgail

Date twin BTW :)

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thanks date twin!
im def not mentioning the colors, i really don't care about that, but it was just all at once i found out this stuff...so i was like why ask me?

Actually I would be totally pissed especially if your mom is the one hosting .. i would make little thank you notes for the tables that in some way states that your mom is hosting.. like welcome to 'your' shower hosted by Mom

we are so hapy that you could share in our special day. Please enjoy and thank you.

Something like that, or you can make these into tags to put in the favors

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Posted by pa56

The only thing I can recommend is that at your shower, at the end when people are leaving just get up and say thanks to everyone and then single out your mom in particular by saying 'thanks for hosting and treating all of us...' or something like that so people know it was your mom!

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thats a good idea

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Posted by lilmartha59

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Posted by pa56

The only thing I can recommend is that at your shower, at the end when people are leaving just get up and say thanks to everyone and then single out your mom in particular by saying 'thanks for hosting and treating all of us...' or something like that so people know it was your mom!

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thats a good idea

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That's what I was going to say. When you are done opening gifts, thank everyone for their generosity. Then, say a special thanks to your mom for hosting this special day. You could say, 'I hope everyone will join me in thanking my mom for hosting today. Without her...'