need some advice

JPbride Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:28 PM

need some advice

Okay ladies here is the rundown - I have BM that does not like the dress I picked out for the wedding. We had a conversation last week and I told her about the dress and I wanted it and that was my decision ( at this point she had not seen the dress but all the other girls have seen it and love it) But she is stuck on another dress she seen and wants to wear that one. I told her I would send her a picture and I am sure she is going to love it. So I email her the picture and she replies saying how she ' Honestly likes the other dress and can't we go with that one' I reply twice saying I understand she does not like the dress but that was my decision . Now she is complaining that it won't look good on her figure the dress is a Modified Aline cut. This will be the 4th dress she said she did not like

Any Advice?

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:31 PM

Re: need some advice

She has to go with what you say. The rest of the BMs like the dress and it's YOUR wedding -did she forget?

hmpena Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:33 PM

Re: need some advice

I agree... it's your decision. That is final. Eveyone else likes it and she will just have to deal.

Nali Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:33 PM

Re: need some advice

It sounds kind of mean....But Its your day you do want you want. If she wants to be a participant tell her to grin and bear it. Tough Love!!!!
Well you could comprise too and see if a store has the dress in stock and make her try it on and if you don't think it looks good say you'll continue to look.
Good luck though

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:36 PM

Re: need some advice

IF all the other girls like it, then she should stop being such a pain in the a$$. Are you supposed to make her happy only? Sorry for be so blunt, but your story annoys me (not you, but the actions of your friend).

JPbride Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:38 PM

Re: need some advice

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

IF all the other girls like it, then she should stop being such a pain in the a$$. Are you supposed to make her happy only? Sorry for be so blunt, but your story annoys me (not you, but the actions of your friend).

PrincessConsuela Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:38 PM

Re: need some advice

its your day.
and dont forget when she gets married she will probably have you guys get whatever she wants you to wear...

kissy27 Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:40 PM

Re: need some advice

Of course it is your day & you have the final say! The majority of your BM's like the dress & she is the sore thumb! She will have to suck it up & deal....There is nothing else you can do...Just tell her this is the dress & if she is not comfortable, then she has the option to not be in the wedding

mrsgtobe Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:47 PM

Re: need some advice

If she wants to be in your BP, she will have to wear the dress that you choose. YOU are the bride, not her. When she gets married, she will get to choose the BP dress. For now, she will have to deal - especially since the rest of your BP likes the dress!

Santoyle Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:49 PM

Re: need some advice

This is your day not hers. Even if the dresses were purple with orange polka dots she has nothing to say about the it. She either wears it or she's not in the wedding. Thats how I would handle it. Best of luck, I hope she comes around.

Mariec Posted: Jun 09, 2005 02:52 PM

Re: need some advice

Its your wedding... you get what YOU want!

kaklesmay Posted: Jun 09, 2005 03:05 PM

Re: need some advice

We all have some nasty bridesmaid dresses in the back of our closets. (not that yours will be)

but she is there to stand beside you on the day you are wed. Who cares what she's wearing? She needs to suck it up and think about what the day is all about. Lookin hot in a dress she likes better or making you happy?

If you actually decide on the dress and have them ordered she will realize its not really up to her anyway and I'm sure it wont be a big deal cuz its case closed! If shes nixed 4 already she obviously feels in control.

If it doesnt fit her figure she can wear a wrap or something to feel more comfortable.

Good Luck! It'll be fine. Order the dress that you (and your other BM's) like! Your being too nice!

SuzBride Posted: Jun 09, 2005 03:09 PM

Re: need some advice

Ewww - tell her to wait for her own wedding to have the BM dress she likes. That is rude - it is your day (your way).

My sister (MOH) has been rejecting a ton of dresses I like. So finally I had it down to one I really LOVE (but knew she wouldnt be thrilled with). So I told her it was down to two (but really the second was an ugly BM dress decoy). I showed her the decoy and then the one LOVE. She looked thrilled when I said I would choose the one I LOVE (since the decoy was so hideous )

JPbride Posted: Jun 09, 2005 03:10 PM

Re: need some advice

Posted by SuzBride

Ewww - tell her to wait for her own wedding to have the BM dress she likes. That is rude - it is your day (your way).

My sister (MOH) has been rejecting a ton of dresses I like. So finally I had it down to one I really LOVE (but knew she wouldnt be thrilled with). So I told her it was down to two (but really the second was an ugly BM dress decoy). I showed her the decoy and then the one LOVE. She looked thrilled when I said I would choose the one I LOVE (since the decoy was so hideous )

That was really a good way to dup her! You go girl!

Angel2006 Posted: Jun 09, 2005 03:14 PM

Re: need some advice

She is not the one getting married, sorry to sound hash but she has NO say. It would be different if all the girls said they did not like it. If she likes it that much tell her that she can have it for HER BM's for HER wedding.

JessicaM. Posted: Jun 09, 2005 03:39 PM

Re: need some advice

i may be the odd man out, but I think the dresses you choose should be flattering to everyone. I mean, it's one thing if she doesn't like the style-that's too bad, but if the dress really will make her look bad, as a friend, I would try to consider her point of view.

I want my girls in the wedding because I love them (most of the time! ) I really wouldn't want someone to look bad and feel uncomfortable just because it's MY wedding...JMVERYHO

JPbride Posted: Jun 09, 2005 03:46 PM

Re: need some advice

Posted by JessicaM.

i may be the odd man out, but I think the dresses you choose should be flattering to everyone. I mean, it's one thing if she doesn't like the style-that's too bad, but if the dress really will make her look bad, as a friend, I would try to consider her point of view.

I want my girls in the wedding because I love them (most of the time! ) I really wouldn't want someone to look bad and feel uncomfortable just because it's MY wedding...JMVERYHO

I totaly understand your point of view. But the dress is a Aline cut....you cant get more flattering then that. Unless the girls wear mumu's!

mbm750 Posted: Jun 09, 2005 06:15 PM

Re: need some advice

I think you should stick your guns, but I think you can do it diplomatically. Remind her that everyone else loves the dress, perhaps recount why you've picked this dress (if it goes with your theme or the feel of your wedding), that you're never going to be able to please all the BM's (maybe even lie and say that someone else is highly opposed to her fave & you're not crazy about it either - so that one has 2 strikes), that the dress is not why she's a BM - it's about standing up to support you and FH and that's what she should be doing, even now in the planning. And, it's your decision - she can torture you later if she wants :)

And, another poster was 100% right - A-line is the most universally flattering cut. If her choice is another cut, you may be hurting your other girls, and compromising your choices too. It's really immature and unfair of her to behave this way.

iffer042373 Posted: Jun 10, 2005 11:30 AM

Re: need some advice

Posted by SuzBride

Ewww - tell her to wait for her own wedding to have the BM dress she likes. That is rude - it is your day (your way).

My sister (MOH) has been rejecting a ton of dresses I like. So finally I had it down to one I really LOVE (but knew she wouldnt be thrilled with). So I told her it was down to two (but really the second was an ugly BM dress decoy). I showed her the decoy and then the one LOVE. She looked thrilled when I said I would choose the one I LOVE (since the decoy was so hideous )

first off its your day
second all the BM's agreed except for her so she is out voted
third tell her to go try it on cuz thats the only way she is gonna find out how the dress is going to look on her.
If still after the fact she wants the other dress simply tell her everyonee likes this dress and they have put deposits down so there is no looking back now

I like the idea of showing her a really ugly dress and then that one that was great