Need some advice

I am still trying to make a decision as to whether I should invite my former best friend to my wedding or not. The reason why I say former is because we were inseparable as kids up until about 2 years ago. She is even the godmother to my daughter. We haven't spoken in at least a year and there really isn't a reason why we haven't but that's just the way it is. I guess we just changed and grew apart.

Her mom FB messaged me after I got engaged to tell me that she was very upset with me because she heard through a friend that I was engaged and I never called to tell her myself, meanwhile she never really seemed to care about my relationship with my FH. I think it might've been a slight case of jealousy to be honest. She never asked how are things with you and Dan, or let's go on a double date or anything like that. Whenever I invited her to go out to eat or to hang out at a bar with us and some friends she never would come, almost like she thought she was too good for us.

So after I got that message from her mom, now I'm like waiting for her to call me to tell me OMG congrats...let me help you plan, etc., you know all the things a best friend is supposed to do, especially since she knows my mom and sisters all live out of state and I basically have no family here.

Should I be the bigger person and send an invite even though I haven't spoken to her or have yet to hear from her?

That really sucks. I feel like she probably doesn't deserve to come, and she might not even come if you invite her. However, if you grew up being inseparable, it might make you the bigger person to invite her. If there was room in my guest-list I would probably send her an invitation.

PS, I didn't call everyone about my engagement - that's just absurd that her mother got upset at you about that. You have to call your mother but not your best friend from childhood's mother.

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Posted by pauladanielle

That really sucks. I feel like she probably doesn't deserve to come, and she might not even come if you invite her. However, if you grew up being inseparable, it might make you the bigger person to invite her. If there was room in my guest-list I would probably send her an invitation.

PS, I didn't call everyone about my engagement - that's just absurd that her mother got upset at you about that. You have to call your mother but not your best friend from childhood's mother.

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I think I am going to, that way I can't say I didn't try. And her mom messaged me saying that her daughter was upset not her, sorry I prob didn't explain that too good LOL.

I'm sort of in a similar situation... I would say, send her the invitation. Maybe it will open some doors for the two of you.

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Posted by queenofhaerts

I'm sort of in a similar situation... I would say, send her the invitation. Maybe it will open some doors for the two of you.

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This

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Posted by jilliibabii

It seems like you still value and maybe even miss the friendship. I'd send the invite, consider it an olive branch. She might show, she might not. At least you tried.

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I agree!

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Posted by jilliibabii

It seems like you still value and maybe even miss the friendship. I'd send the invite, consider it an olive branch. She might show, she might not. At least you tried.

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Very true...I am going to send the invite and also send one to her mom too. If they don't come then that will be on them and I can at least have a clear conscience.

Thanks for your advice!

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Posted by MarryTheNight24

Personally, I would not invite her. She hasn't even reached out to say congratulations? You haven't spoke in a year and I'm assuming she hasn't reached out to her goddaughter either. Unless you have seats to fill I would leave her off the list. I am not inviting my former best friend to my wedding. I was invited to hers last year and I tried to develop our friendship again and it didn't work. We didn't keep in touch, so there is no point in wasting an invite to her when someone else deserves to be there more than her.

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This is a good point too....hmmmm. If I heard she was engaged I would've called her and congratulated her. The fact that she hasn't reached out at all...it kind of is just selfish.

Hey Melissa! We went to HS together

I say, reach out. My BFF and I had a major falling out before my wedding, and we both missed each other terribly. She ended up reaching out to me, but I was considering doing the same. I invited her, but she couldn't make it because of other plans, but it paved the way for us to reconnect our friendship and now we're totally back to normal

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Hey Melissa! We went to HS together

I say, reach out. My BFF and I had a major falling out before my wedding, and we both missed each other terribly. She ended up reaching out to me, but I was considering doing the same. I invited her, but she couldn't make it because of other plans, but it paved the way for us to reconnect our friendship and now we're totally back to normal

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Hi Heather!!!

So you probably know who I am talking about LOL. I am going to send the invite and see what happens.

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Posted by jilliibabii

It seems like you still value and maybe even miss the friendship. I'd send the invite, consider it an olive branch. She might show, she might not. At least you tried.

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Totally this! Hope everything works out!!

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Posted by kelbaevh

it's a tough situation but maybe you should call her and tell her how you feel. sometimes people are so stubborn, but at least you can say you tried and maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised. Good luck!!!

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ITA

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Posted by jilliibabii

It seems like you still value and maybe even miss the friendship. I'd send the invite, consider it an olive branch. She might show, she might not. At least you tried.

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I agree. Good luck! I hope you guys can rebuild your friendship!