Need some advice: honeymoon dilemma....

Ok, so here's the deal. Originally FH and I were not looking at Mexico for a HM destination. But after reading so many wonderful things from girls on here (LuvMyAlfonse, etc), and having one of my good friends rave about another hotel in Mexico I started looking into it.

While I was doing it, I realized that one of my oldest and dearest friends works for a 5 diamond resort in Mexico - Grand Velas. (nice, right?!)

So I just got off the phone with her and she said she'd be able to hook it up for us- upgraded room, romantic dinners, spa, discount, etc. This would be great b/c I don't know if we could afford it otherwise.

But here's the thing. I think I'll feel super obligated to hang out with my friend - especially since she'd be so kind to help us out. I mean, I'd love to see her - don't get me wrong! But I feel like this is the only vacation you'll ever take that's meant to be exclusive and romantic. Aghhh...I dunno.

I'm confused. What would you do??

make a dinner date and get it over with QUICKLY
i mean like the first FULL day you are there and then thats the end of it so you dont have to think about it the whole time

dont be super bubbly about it just say 'hey if you want to meet up why dont we have dinner on the 8th'

most likely she will be like OMG NO WAY ITS YOUR HM!

ETA - i am changing this to a LUNCH date.

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Posted by ant n tilde

make a dinner date and get it over with QUICKLY
i mean like the first FULL day you are there and then thats the end of it so you dont have to think about it the whole time

dont be super bubbly about it just say 'hey if you want to meet up why dont we have dinner on the 8th'

most likely she will be like OMG NO WAY ITS YOUR HM!

ETA - i am changing this to a LUNCH date.

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lunch date is good.

I just know myself. I think I'd feel guilty. I know I'd probably open my mouth and say something like 'Lets hang out later!' I dunno. Maybe it's best not to do it. There are plenty of other beautiful places out there!

I just want to kick myself though because it looks like such a freaking amazing place.

I can understand why you feel the way you do, but I would think your friendwould be understanding of the fact that it is your honeymoon and would respect your privacy. She will also most likely be working through most of it. I think it'd be nice if you and your FH took her out to either breakfast/lunch/dinner as a friendly gesture but other than that I don't think you should feel obligated nor should she expect you to hang out with her anymore.

Looks like a great trip!

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Posted by beachbum05

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Posted by ant n tilde

make a dinner date and get it over with QUICKLY
i mean like the first FULL day you are there and then thats the end of it so you dont have to think about it the whole time

dont be super bubbly about it just say 'hey if you want to meet up why dont we have dinner on the 8th'

most likely she will be like OMG NO WAY ITS YOUR HM!

ETA - i am changing this to a LUNCH date.

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lunch date is good.

I just know myself. I think I'd feel guilty. I know I'd probably open my mouth and say something like 'Lets hang out later!' I dunno. Maybe it's best not to do it. There are plenty of other beautiful places out there!

I just want to kick myself though because it looks like such a freaking amazing place.

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HA HA YOU SOUND LIKE ME!!!! i do that all the time i will complain to FH about how i dont want to hang out with someone and then i sit there and chat with them about hanging out the next weekend or late on

The other thing...is that she'll be invited to our wedding. So I dunno if she'd be flying back when we go on the HM or if she stays in NY (her family is in NY - we grew up together).

So if she ISN'T going back to Mexico after the wedding, then I think it's a good idea!!!!!!!

But how the he!l do I find that out without sounding like a jerk....???

the thing is i dont think you should have to see her and if i were you i wouldnt want to see her

BUT i think i would feel guilty if i didnt make the attempt and then spend more time actually worrying about it instead of getting it over with

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Posted by ant n tilde

the thing is i dont think you should have to see her and if i were you i wouldnt want to see her

BUT i think i would feel guilty if i didnt make the attempt and then spend more time actually worrying about it instead of getting it over with

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. I think I'd give myself an ulcer worrying. My FH makes fun of me alllllllllll the time. I'm the worst!!!!

But again, maybe if she isn't going to be in Mexico then it'd be worth it......?

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Posted by beachbum05

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Posted by ant n tilde

the thing is i dont think you should have to see her and if i were you i wouldnt want to see her

BUT i think i would feel guilty if i didnt make the attempt and then spend more time actually worrying about it instead of getting it over with

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. I think I'd give myself an ulcer worrying. My FH makes fun of me alllllllllll the time. I'm the worst!!!!

But again, maybe if she isn't going to be in Mexico then it'd be worth it......?

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i would honestly do it either way - we are poor.
LOL honestly. . . if i were her i wouldnt WANT to see you - all those gross sex germs

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Posted by ant n tilde

i would honestly do it either way - we are poor.
LOL honestly. . . if i were her i wouldnt WANT to see you - all those gross sex germs

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Ewwwwwwwwwwww!

But how do I find out if she will be there when we go on HM?

Go to dinner or maybe a get a manicure at the spa together. She can't expect you to spend the entire HM with her - I doubt she will expect you to.

I wouldn't want to be a 3rd wheel on someone's HM-- creepy- haha

It's not really HER I'm worried about. It's more ME and my freaking guilt.

I don't think I'm going to do it.

I know I'd worry about it all week.

Better to go somewhere where you don't know anyone.....that's my thought, at least.

ETA: Thanks ladies!!!

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Posted by beachbum05

It's not really HER I'm worried about. It's more ME and my freaking guilt.

I don't think I'm going to do it.

I know I'd worry about it all week.

Better to go somewhere where you don't know anyone.....that's my thought, at least.

ETA: Thanks ladies!!!

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\\

Tru dat.

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Posted by beachbum05

It's not really HER I'm worried about. It's more ME and my freaking guilt.

I don't think I'm going to do it.

I know I'd worry about it all week.

Better to go somewhere where you don't know anyone.....that's my thought, at least.

ETA: Thanks ladies!!!

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Oh, What do you think you will ditch DH to hang with her???

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Oh, What do you think you will ditch DH to hang with her???

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Noooooo - but I know I'll feel the need to hang out with her - to thank her a billion times - and to see her place in Mexico, etc.....

I'm a dork. I know.

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Posted by beachbum05

It's not really HER I'm worried about. It's more ME and my freaking guilt.

I don't think I'm going to do it.

I know I'd worry about it all week.

Better to go somewhere where you don't know anyone.....that's my thought, at least.

ETA: Thanks ladies!!!

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yeah i have to agree with you

i wish we were normal - normal people can do stuff like that ( just go and not see her and not feel guilty )

but dont give up what if she isnt even THERE