need some advice please

Hi Brides, my beloved grandfather passed away 2 weeks ago. I am getting married in a month. This is heartbreaking and devastating - I was really close to him and I miss him so much. I can't imagine my wedding without him and I'm having a hard time getting on with my wedding plans, even though I still have so much left to do.

The one thing that is really hard for me to plan now are the special reception dances. I grew up without a father (left my mom when I was a baby and my mom never remarried), and always imagined dancing with my grandpa on my wedding day. I even had the song picked out and everything. What should I do? The song is 'The Prayer' by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion. Should I dance this with someone else in memory of my grandfather? I have 3 uncles and a younger brother. Not sure who it makes sense to dance with and I'm so confused. I also wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by choosing one of them and not the others. But don't know if I can dance that song with all of them taking turns?

I also had planned to play 'Could I Have This Dance' by Anne Murray for the Anniversary dance. Every time I hear that song I always think of my grandparents. My grandparents would've been married 63 years in July. I still want to honor the loving marriage they had, so was thinking of asking my 1 single uncle to dance with my grandmother (he is her youngest child) during the Anniversary dance to honor the memory of my grandfather, and so I can present my bouquet to my grandmother when she wins the anniversary dance. Do you think that's weird since my grandfather passed before the wedding? This whole situation is very upsetting to me and I don't know what to do. I can't imagine my wedding without my grandfather so I wan to incorporate him wherever possible but don't want it to be weird or uncomfortable either. This is so hard for me, so any advice is welcome.

Please help me by giving your honest opinions???
Thanks so much...

First, i am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing a loved one so close to my wedding.

I think that maybe dancing with your brother might be a good idea, and then set aside another slow dance to dance with your 2 uncles. I think having ur younger uncle dance w/ur grandma in memory of your grandfather is a great idea. Maybe ask her for her opinion on it since this has gotta be hard on her also.

Also, it's short notice but it might be do-able. Maybe get one of those bo-k charms and add a picture of your grandfather in it so that he'll still be with you while ur walking down the aisle.

HTH

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I've been there, several times now, and I know how hard it is.

I would say maybe dance with your brother so that you both are honoring your grandfather, and that way you don't have to choose between uncles.

Or you could have the song played during dinner - so that you can acknowledge it personally and no one really has to even know.

I guess it depends on how public you want to make it.

Or if you do want it to be more public, maybe a photo montage of your grandfather during that song. Granted, I'm sure there won't be a dry eye in the house if you do that, but I'm sure it would be very touching.

I am so sorry

I can't imagine, it must be so difficult. I love your idea for the anniversary dance and I would definitely still go ahead with it. You can play that song in honor and in memory of your grandparents marriage and committment. I think it's very respectful and very honoring.

I know some people have memory tables somewhere where they place a memory candle and then wedding pictures of those no longer with them. Maybe you can do this with a wedding picture of your grandmother and grandfather to honor his memory further.

I don't have much advice on the father-daughter dance. My brother in-law lost his mother a few months before his wedding and danced with his grandma instead. It was very sad to witness and many people cried. I think you should still dance with someone if you want, but I don't know who you are better off choosing.

So sorry, I hope your wedding day is still a beautiful occassion

I'm so sorry for your loss. How much younger is your brother? I think it would be nice if you danced with him.

As for the other song, maybe instead of calling it an anniversary dance, have the band or DJ announce that you're giving your Bo-k to your grandmother and call all the couples up to dance to a song that has special meaning to the bride and her family. I'd ask your grandmother if she'd like one of your uncles to dance with her or if she'd prefer to observe the dance.

I'm so sorry about your grandfather.

I think it would be beautiful to dance with your brother to that song- that way you do not have to pick amongst your uncles. Then have the youngest uncle dance with your grandmother. I'd just check with everyone involved first to make sure they are comfortable with everything. I think it is a wonderful idea though, and again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Mine passed in October, so I know what you're going through.
We put a lot of things on hold to help pay for the funeral and to just mourn... I still cry, a lot...
I too wanted to do something special, I wanted to dance to david cooks 'the time of my life'... the day he died my sisterinlaw and i went to dunkin donuts, to get out of the house for a minute and it was on the radio and there's one line that just HITS me...
I was going to ask my brother to dance with me at my engagement party, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him. But we did have a picture of him at our head table.

I'd suggest dancing with your brother. You're both the grandchildren, I think that would be special, and you and your brother will share an amazing moment.

and by the way, I LOVE that song... FH plays it for me all the time!

first of all im sorry about your grandfather passing - i was very close to my grandparents too so i know how hard that loss is..

I think giving your grandmother the bok and honoring her and your grandfathers marriage is perfect!!

Instead of dancing w/ your grandfather, why not dance w/ your grandmother?

I am so sorry for your loss. My poppy passed 2 years ago and it feels like yesterday still. Its not going to get easier. I was very close to him as well.

About who to dance with now in place of him....are you close to your brother? If so, I think he would be the best one to choose out of the men you were thinking. Im sure your grandfather meant the same to him....plus not having a father in your life, your brother was the closest father figure/male figure you had growing up. Again, this is just my opinion. Don't do the taking turns idea....might get confusing and you might get too overwhelmed.

I love the idea about your grandmother dancing with her youngest son for the anniversary dance. It sounds perfect.

Hope this helped. And again I am so sorry.....

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Posted by AdriandSteve


Also, it's short notice but it might be do-able. Maybe get one of those bo-k charms and add a picture of your grandfather in it so that he'll still be with you while ur walking down the aisle.

HTH

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Good idea.....never thought of that.