FH aunt (godmother) bought us some wedding items last Christmas after we had got engaged. This was before we had picked a theme or even a time of year. She got us unity candles, a card box, guest book, ring bearer pillow, knife set, and a few other odds and ends. I was gracious and thanked her for everything at the time. My problem is that everything she got for us was white with pearls and I really, really dislike pearls, and i feel the stuff doesnt really go with our fall theme all that well. FH says we HAVE to use the things she got for us, otherwise she is going to be super insulted. Hes even saying we have to have the candle ceremony because she bought us candles even though we had originally agreed not to do one. I told him I will use the guest book and pen set, but that i wanted to get a custom card box since i saw one on here that was amazing. He said then we have to put them both out.. Grr. SHould I just suck it up and use the things she got us, or fight him on this? These things seem so trivial but it does irk me. Im afraid shes going to get us all this other stuff this Christmas without asking what we like and I dont want to have to go through this again.
bemyyoko
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Re: Need some advice (small rant lol)
That's a tough spot. FMIL got us some wedding stuff as well, but told me straight up if i don't want to use it, not to, and that i can even give it away to someone on here, she just thought it was cute.
I'm going to find a way to use it all, either at the wedding or the shower or something.
Maybe you could do the same sort of thing... talk to your MOH and see if you can use some of the stuff at the shower, like, maybe the card box could be a wish box or something or a box to drop recipes into or something like that. the guest book you might be able to use at the shower too (that's what i hope to do with the one my FMIL got us)
as for the candles... honestly, unless you HATE the candle ceremony idea, maybe it'd be a sweet gesture to use them in the wedding. If you weren't going to do it from the begining, it's not like you wanted OTHER ones... you know what i mean?
I'd just be afraid of upsetting such a close relative who did something so sweet, over things that really won't matter in the end.
of course, it's your wedding, and i'd totally understand if you didnt use any of it. Perhaps you could say that someone 'forgot' the candles on the way to the ceremony and stuff like that.
LB and DC
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Re: Need some advice (small rant lol)
i am torn about this. on the one hand, it's your wedding, so if you don't want to use those things, you shouldn't have to.
on the other hand, in the grand scheme of things, i have a feeling it will mean more to her if you use them then it will to you if you don't. it's a small part of the wedding, IMO.
is it possible to use some of the things, but not all of them?
and as for christmas, make sure that your FH or his mom or another relative makes sure she knows that you already bought all your other stuff (even if you didn't) to avoid this happening again. good luck!
KiTTeN0819
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Re: Need some advice (small rant lol)
AAh thats a great idea, i will see if i can use some of the things at the shower. A recipe box would be Fantastic! Thank you!
Oh and I will definitely talk to his mom again.. Although she said she told her last year to hold off and she didnt listen.
kslmbuggie
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Re: Need some advice (small rant lol)
it depends what the things look like, do you have pics?
KiTTeN0819
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Re: Need some advice (small rant lol)
Posted by kslmbuggie
it depends what the things look like, do you have pics?
this isnt the exact candle set but something like this one
Whats funny is that I actually like the ring pillow, but we are not having a ring bearer.. Im waiting for FH to tell me we HAVE to rent a child just to hold the pillow
KiTTeN0819
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Re: Need some advice (small rant lol)
The knife set Im going to try to use. She got us a very plain one, however its starting to tarnish.
Collweenie21
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Re: Need some advice (small rant lol)
The stuff she got you is gorgeous, but just not your taste, I understand. I agree... tell her you just couldn't wait till the wedding to use it, so you decided to use it at the shower!
