Need some advice with BM dress shopping

ok...so my 2 sisters, my 2 cousins and I all went BM dress shopping last weekend. It was a quick unexpected thing.

So we really didnt find too much. And I think I was spending more time looking at wedding dresses haha.

But here is where I need the help:
1. My girls all want straps. But how do I go about looking for dresses cause cant you add nice strapes to some strapless dresses? So do I look at both?

2. How do I tell BM's well you can look but I might not necessarly say I like those dresses. And if I don't we aren't getting them. HAHA in a nice way. I mean I want the girls to be happy but I dont want to not like my BM dresses either.

Thanks for whatever advice you have.

catie i would just make it clear through comments that when you look they are going with you. Like.,. oh the next time we go.. or something like that.. i dont think they should be thinking they are going to be looking on their own.. i agree.. i want to give my BMs some flexibilty so they feel comfortable but i want the final decision.

Im not positive on this.. but i think that on many strapless dresses they can add straps of some kind.. so i would just look at everything and you never know they may end up liking something without straps.. that happened to me.. i thought i wanted a dress with straps but after trying on strapless i found they looked better on me.

the dresses we got for my girlfriends wedding had an option to add straps.. so i think you can with some of them. I'm not exactly sure..but i don't see why they wouldn't be able to.
I think you should go shopping maybe with just you and MOH and myabe your mom.. have everyone try on the dresses to see how they look on different body types and then give the other girls like your top 5 to pick from(or however many you decide on!). I think it'd be easier on you and you wouldn't really have to say it.. you'd just be telling them.. ok these are the ones i liked best... which one do you girls like? That's what i'm gonna do cause i can see it being a problem if all 6 girls try to decide on 1 dress! when it comes down to it..you want them to like the dress and be comfortable but it has to be a dress you love cause it's your day!! good luck!!

First, I might look online at different designers websites to get an idea of what YOU like...... and also look at bridal magazines.

You can bring pics with you, and whoever helps you at the store will show you the dresses you chose, or something similar.

That way, your girls may be able to choose from dresses you have already approved!

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Posted by jgl

catie i would just make it clear through comments that when you look they are going with you. Like.,. oh the next time we go.. or something like that.. i dont think they should be thinking they are going to be looking on their own.. i agree.. i want to give my BMs some flexibilty so they feel comfortable but i want the final decision.

Im not positive on this.. but i think that on many strapless dresses they can add straps of some kind.. so i would just look at everything and you never know they may end up liking something without straps.. that happened to me.. i thought i wanted a dress with straps but after trying on strapless i found they looked better on me.

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thanks so much Gina. Yeah I completely agree with you...I want my BMs to be comfortable and happy so I dont mind at all if they want dresses with straps. My one cousin said she wants straps because she doesnt want to be pulling at her dress all night (But i think she gets it from her mom because my aunt told me not to get a strapless dress cause i would be like that in all my pics haha) and my best friend prefers straps and my sisters agreed they like straps but they dont care as much. SO fine I am great with that. But I do want the final say as well. I dont mind telling my sisters NO haha but I guess I will just have to make it clear to them...their opinion does matter but i want to like it as well..

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

First, I might look online at different designers websites to get an idea of what YOU like...... and also look at bridal magazines.

You can bring pics with you, and whoever helps you at the store will show you the dresses you chose, or something similar.

That way, your girls may be able to choose from dresses you have already approved!

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thanks! yeah i def have pics od certain dresses i love. which is a good start. but i guess when you get to the store you never know right hahaha

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Posted by JTsGal829

the dresses we got for my girlfriends wedding had an option to add straps.. so i think you can with some of them. I'm not exactly sure..but i don't see why they wouldn't be able to.
I think you should go shopping maybe with just you and MOH and myabe your mom.. have everyone try on the dresses to see how they look on different body types and then give the other girls like your top 5 to pick from(or however many you decide on!). I think it'd be easier on you and you wouldn't really have to say it.. you'd just be telling them.. ok these are the ones i liked best... which one do you girls like? That's what i'm gonna do cause i can see it being a problem if all 6 girls try to decide on 1 dress! when it comes down to it..you want them to like the dress and be comfortable but it has to be a dress you love cause it's your day!! good luck!!

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oo thank you good idea. i should just go with my 2 sisters cause i can tell them i hate it and them not be sensitive. but the thing is my Best friend (a BM) is soo excited to go dress shopping i feel bad leaving her out the first time haha but then again she works alot and at different times htan me so i might have to go without her the first time. but thanks for the suggestion. maybe i can go next week then if i just bring my sisters

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

You could even go to the store without them, pick some you like, and have them noted in the computer. Then go back again with them, and have them try on those dresses..... they won't even realize you already picked those out for them.... and will still feel like they have a choice!!!

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ooo you are sooo smart amanda i love it !!!!

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

definately pick out styles you like and have them try on only dresses you've sorted out..i would at least so the whole issue of you not liking them doesn't come up...and i feel looking at all dresses a wide variety keeps yourself open to different ideas!! its like a wedding dress it may look great on but not so good on the rack...but how will you know until you try it on!

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yeah maybe i can just go my sisters and me and we pick out some we like cause htey will def tell me no if they dont like it and i will def tell them no- so honest opinions which are good...and then note the ones we like so we can all try them on!!

the one thing is 2 of my cousins are very tall and i hope that doesnt become a problem with finding a dress (they are 5'9 and 6'. the rest of us are 5' to 5'4) but then again i am using long dresses

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

definately pick out styles you like and have them try on only dresses you've sorted out..i would at least so the whole issue of you not liking them doesn't come up...and i feel looking at all dresses a wide variety keeps yourself open to different ideas!! its like a wedding dress it may look great on but not so good on the rack...but how will you know until you try it on!

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yeah maybe i can just go my sisters and me and we pick out some we like cause htey will def tell me no if they dont like it and i will def tell them no- so honest opinions which are good...and then note the ones we like so we can all try them on!!

the one thing is 2 of my cousins are very tall and i hope that doesnt become a problem with finding a dress (they are 5'9 and 6'. the rest of us are 5' to 5'4) but then again i am using long dresses

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i don't think it'll be an issue... the bridal party i was in this june ranged from me (i'm 5'2.5') to the maid of honor who was the tallest... (she's around 5'10 or 11' i think)... and we all wore the same dress... so it should be ok!!!

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Posted by JTsGal829

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

definately pick out styles you like and have them try on only dresses you've sorted out..i would at least so the whole issue of you not liking them doesn't come up...and i feel looking at all dresses a wide variety keeps yourself open to different ideas!! its like a wedding dress it may look great on but not so good on the rack...but how will you know until you try it on!

---

yeah maybe i can just go my sisters and me and we pick out some we like cause htey will def tell me no if they dont like it and i will def tell them no- so honest opinions which are good...and then note the ones we like so we can all try them on!!

the one thing is 2 of my cousins are very tall and i hope that doesnt become a problem with finding a dress (they are 5'9 and 6'. the rest of us are 5' to 5'4) but then again i am using long dresses

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i don't think it'll be an issue... the bridal party i was in this june ranged from me (i'm 5'2.5') to the maid of honor who was the tallest... (she's around 5'10 or 11' i think)... and we all wore the same dress... so it should be ok!!!

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yeah hehe i will be the shortest in my bridal party- i am 5 foot and everyone is atleast 2 inchs taller than me. so i need to wear heels haha but we are getting long dresses so thankfully my cousin who is concious about being 6 foot she can wear flats if she wants

but thanks for the advice i appreciate it. i just dont like when people get mad at me and stuff so i dont like to tell people what to do so i am nervous i am going to cave even if i dont like a dress lol so picking out dresses before is a good idea

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

definately pick out styles you like and have them try on only dresses you've sorted out..i would at least so the whole issue of you not liking them doesn't come up...and i feel looking at all dresses a wide variety keeps yourself open to different ideas!! its like a wedding dress it may look great on but not so good on the rack...but how will you know until you try it on!

---

yeah maybe i can just go my sisters and me and we pick out some we like cause htey will def tell me no if they dont like it and i will def tell them no- so honest opinions which are good...and then note the ones we like so we can all try them on!!

the one thing is 2 of my cousins are very tall and i hope that doesnt become a problem with finding a dress (they are 5'9 and 6'. the rest of us are 5' to 5'4) but then again i am using long dresses

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nah i don't think you'll have a problem at all!

you can definitely add straps to strapless dresses. I told my BP that they could each choose any dress they wanted but it just had to be gown length, and it could NOT be strapless. (I hate strapless dresses) Three BMs wound up choosing strapless, but, I was assured that they could add any type of straps they want...so they all chose to have a halter added...
show them styles you like, and then tell the salesperson what you're looking for...and have her bring out dresses that fit your criteria...then pick from those dresses what you want to give the BP to choose from...That way, it's already narrowed down, and you know you'll like whatever they choose...instead of them choosing first, and running the risk of you having to say no...

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by JTsGal829

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

definately pick out styles you like and have them try on only dresses you've sorted out..i would at least so the whole issue of you not liking them doesn't come up...and i feel looking at all dresses a wide variety keeps yourself open to different ideas!! its like a wedding dress it may look great on but not so good on the rack...but how will you know until you try it on!

---

yeah maybe i can just go my sisters and me and we pick out some we like cause htey will def tell me no if they dont like it and i will def tell them no- so honest opinions which are good...and then note the ones we like so we can all try them on!!

the one thing is 2 of my cousins are very tall and i hope that doesnt become a problem with finding a dress (they are 5'9 and 6'. the rest of us are 5' to 5'4) but then again i am using long dresses

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i don't think it'll be an issue... the bridal party i was in this june ranged from me (i'm 5'2.5') to the maid of honor who was the tallest... (she's around 5'10 or 11' i think)... and we all wore the same dress... so it should be ok!!!

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yeah hehe i will be the shortest in my bridal party- i am 5 foot and everyone is atleast 2 inchs taller than me. so i need to wear heels haha but we are getting long dresses so thankfully my cousin who is concious about being 6 foot she can wear flats if she wants

but thanks for the advice i appreciate it. i just dont like when people get mad at me and stuff so i dont like to tell people what to do so i am nervous i am going to cave even if i dont like a dress lol so picking out dresses before is a good idea

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i'm the same way..,. i can be such a pushover at times.. but when i think about it im like ya know .. i dont wanna have ANY reason to look back on this day and be upset or regretful just cause i didnt wanna say something to piss someone off.. especially if they are pissing me off. I waited for this for too long.. lmaoo.
The way i see it is if someone agrees to be a bridesmaid they must realize the day is about you and FH starting your life together and not all about what thye want. Yes your BMs are you closest friends and family and should def. be made to feel special and be comfortable.. but it has to be within your standards!!!! They shouldn't make you crazy about things like a dress unless the one you pick is that ugly..lmaoo

i think that you just need to be clear, yet respectful
though it is YOUR wedding, they will be the one actually wearing it and should be comfortable

you definitely have to like the dress, obviously, but i think it should be a mutual decision

you dont want to force someone to wear something that they will be miserable in

YOu can add straps to any dress, look at any....

Tell them to choose some dresses and if you dont like tell them thats all...just say it doesnt go well with it.

What i did was search online.....emailed them the dress I liked..and they all loved it.