Need some Father/Daughter dance advice...kind of a different situation

So my parents are divorced, have been since I was 6 months old. My mom remarried when I was 4...and my dad moved away to Florida. I am VERY close to my step-father, I mean he's been like my dad for 22 years. I am not so close to my real dad...he lives in Florida, he's remarried, had more kids. I feel like he kind of forgot about us when he moved away. I talk to him maybe once a month, sometimes we could go 3 months without talking.

So I decided that for walking down the aisle, I am going to do something a little different and have both my dad and my stepdad walk me down. It is a little unconventional, but I really wanted my stepdad to walk me down, but I don't want to disrespect my dad by just having my stepdad (I still have guilt issues, even though I really shouldn't, my dad basically abandoned me!)

So my question is...what about Father/Daughter dance? Do I just forget about the dance altogether? That might be weird since FH is definitely dancing with him mom. Do I have one song and dance half with dad, half with stepdad? Or do I have two songs, one for dad, one for stepdad? Who do I dance with first? I am so stressed about this. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings...I just want to do the right thing. Do what do you think, girls?? I know this kind of a different kind of situation...I just wish things were simpler when it came to my dad

I have the same kind of relationship with my dad - but no stepdad.

I am having my mom walk me down the aisle. Both parents and ILs will be lighting the unity candle (instead of just the moms).

As far as the dance goes, I would do a separate song for your dad and stepdad. Maybe to break it up don't do them in a row so it's not so obvious that one's 'first.' Do one earlier in the night and one later on.

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Posted by geegee827


As far as the dance goes, I would do a separate song for your dad and stepdad. Maybe to break it up don't do them in a row so it's not so obvious that one's 'first.' Do one earlier in the night and one later on.

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This is a really good idea ... I think that would be nice and it wouldn't be 'weird' to do one right after the other and confuse people. I think I would do the stepdad dance first though.

I'm also the same with my dad but with no stepdad, so I do understand the guilt and the troubles associated with ... hang in there!

i think having both your step dad and dad walk you down the aisle is a great idea!!!

as far as the dances its up to you! again its your day remember that! if i were in your situation i would split the dance...only cuz having 2 sperate dances will take up more time from the party!! :o)

i would start with your dad, and then end with your step dad...have the dj announce midway that you wanna switch! i think it will work and nobody will get offended or anything...if anyone asks you for an explianation on why you picked your real dad first, just say cuz was your dad first...and being that you are closer to your step dad i feel the ending of the dance is nice to end with your step dad cuz you will have time for a nice sentimental hug or whatever...

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Posted by LadyDuda81509

i think having both your step dad and dad walk you down the aisle is a great idea!!!

as far as the dances its up to you! again its your day remember that! if i were in your situation i would split the dance...only cuz having 2 sperate dances will take up more time from the party!! :o)

i would start with your dad, and then end with your step dad...have the dj announce midway that you wanna switch! i think it will work and nobody will get offended or anything...if anyone asks you for an explianation on why you picked your real dad first, just say cuz was your dad first...and being that you are closer to your step dad i feel the ending of the dance is nice to end with your step dad cuz you will have time for a nice sentimental hug or whatever...

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This is what I was going to suggest.

this is what I am doing my dad is alwalking me down aisle ... my father and i are going to dance with fh and mog .. and then i am goin gto dance with step dad alone right after so he can have his time alone with me

I think both walking you down the aisle is nice! I had my mom and my dad walk me down the aisle.. .they are divorced but I wanted to do both

for dance. . I would either

1. dance with your mom

2. split the dance and do dad first then step dad second. . dances are kind of long so to do two in a row would be too much and to do one later might just interrupt the flow. . plus I noticed as the wedding moved on people were more spread out and less likely to watch so it might be like that dance was an afterthought

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Posted by LadyDuda81509

i think having both your step dad and dad walk you down the aisle is a great idea!!!

as far as the dances its up to you! again its your day remember that! if i were in your situation i would split the dance...only cuz having 2 sperate dances will take up more time from the party!! :o)

i would start with your dad, and then end with your step dad...have the dj announce midway that you wanna switch! i think it will work and nobody will get offended or anything...if anyone asks you for an explianation on why you picked your real dad first, just say cuz was your dad first...and being that you are closer to your step dad i feel the ending of the dance is nice to end with your step dad cuz you will have time for a nice sentimental hug or whatever...

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I totally agree. This is exactly what I was going to say :)

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Posted by geegee827

I have the same kind of relationship with my dad - but no stepdad.

I am having my mom walk me down the aisle. Both parents and ILs will be lighting the unity candle (instead of just the moms).

As far as the dance goes, I would do a separate song for your dad and stepdad. Maybe to break it up don't do them in a row so it's not so obvious that one's 'first.' Do one earlier in the night and one later on.

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ita..i think this is a great idea

I had a similar situation oddly enough (sort of) but with my godfather and my stepfather. My godfather/uncle raised me like his own from when I was so little but my stepdad and I have gotten very close in the last year. In the end, I walked myself and FH met me about 2/3 down. My mom hated it but others told me how beautiful it was for FH to meet me.

When I was thinking about songs, I chose a long song and my plan was to start with my godfather and then have my stepdad cut in and then POSSIBLY have my FIL finish it out just because I thought it would be a nice gesture. I scrapped the whole dance because I didn't want to stress about it.

I had the same dilemma with my dad/ stepdad.

I did a dance wih each one of them, I danced with my dad first and then after all the other dances I had one with my stepdad. He thought that was SO special.

I think since your having them both walk you down the aisle, your stepdad is already going to feel so honored by that...wether you have a dance with him or not