Need Some Hugs...feeling down!!

I just got off the phone with FH. As you probably all know he is stationed in Japan right now.

Well his unit will be deploying in March to Iraq and wont return until the end of August or beginning of Sept.

Now he told me that he can't go because he would have to extend his time in the Marine Corps since he is due to get out in July. Then if he did so he would be able to go to Iraq. The thing is he told me he is soo excited to get married- but he really wants to deploy with his unit because he will get to experience alot of cool training and learn to jump out of planes and have the experience of a lifetime.

Now I feel selfish that I wanted to wedding only 3 months after he got out for good. But we didnt know he was going to Japan when I was thinking of Sept. And know that he knows his unit is going to Iraq he wants to go and I do want to say NO YOUR NOT GOING cause I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him. But then again I know he LOVES the Marine Corps and I don't want to be selfish and tell him he shouldn't extend. So I almost starting crying here at work when he was telling me this. Cause I feel as if I am taking something that he really wants away from him. But I couldn't say anything. So I just told him I needed to get some work done.

Now I feel as if I am being selfish and maybe we should move our wedding back. But we wanted a fall wedding and I feel selfish saying No you have to get out of the Marine Corps so we can have our wedding in Sept and not like Jan.

Ughhhh I HATE THIS FEELING!!!!!

This must be the most horrible feeling for you. I understand you want him to be happy but you do not want anything to happen to him. God forbid!!! I do not think you are being selfish. You know he is happy and safe in Japan. Iraq would be a whole other story, and its not selfish, but the right feeling to want the man you love here or SAFE. But you also are feeling that you will take him away from his passion, so you are a great FIANCE!

All in all, I have no idea what is right or wrong but I

That is a tough situation. You totally have a right to feel the way you do, but if he wants to go it is something you should stand by him through. It may not be easy, but you'll get through it.

If you really want a Fall weddings, you could always wait til Fall of 09 instead of Jan. I know it is far away, but if its what you really want it'd be worth considering.

I'm so sorry for crashing.

I am so sorry you are going through this.


FH is a Marine too, so I know how tough it can be--not only on you, but your FH too because everyone is always so torn between things. FH and I got engaged almost 2 years ago (right before his 2nd deployment to Iraq). It's taken us a while to plan everything because of the deployments and trainings. I think you and your FH need to talk this out and let him know how you feel too. It won't help any if you don't. I know you want to be supportive, but you two will also have to compromise somehow.

Aww Catie, Its not fair that you are feeling this way. I dont think youa re being selfish and dont think you are the only one who would be feeling like that. I bet that just about all of us would be feeling that way and really wanting to tell FH he cant do it or dont want him to do it. Its a very tough situation to be in.

the only thing i can think of is that the next time FH calls you have a conversation. Talk about the postives and negatives and how you both are going to feel by being apart longer than expected. Maybe that will help him make his decision, I do think it needs to be his decision because if you say 'no' he might regret it and feel like you held him back.

GL and I really hope that you cheer up! \


I secretly hope that he just does his year and you can get married in sept like planned!

I have no comforting words but lots of

Thank you all soooo much!! I appreciate the hugs....

Actually Fh just called me back and we talked for about another 1/2 hour about this. He called me back because he said he could hear it in my voice that I was upset. So I told him how I was feeling.

I told him that if he wanted it then he should go for it. That I DO NOT want to be the ONE who holds him back from something he loves cause I know he would never do it to me. I also told him which he knows that I support him in anything and any decision that he does or makes. He knew that I felt this way but he said he already made the decision NOT TO GO or extend his tour because of several reasons. He said the major one is his family and myself. He would never want to leave us alone god forbid something did happen. He also said he wants to come home and be able to call me his wife and the Marine Corps will NOT stop him from doing so...and the sooner the better he said haha....

But we talked and I told him I did not want him to give up something he wanted to do for his whole life just for me because even though I may not like it I Support him. But he kept saying he had reasons not to go. He said everything happens for a reason. He believes we got together for a reason and that reason may to keep him level headed and stay safe and come home to his family. Cause he said he never knows if we werent together and he went over he could have had a horrible experience there. SO he said I should not feel selfish and that he made this decision not only because of me and his family but because of his own safety and health and mental reason!!!

THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!!!!!

You all made me feel so much better ....

Aww Catie I'm soo sorry! I dont think you are being selfish at all. I would feel the exact same way. Try and talk to your FH and tell him how you are feeling

Aww...I'm glad it all worked out.

I dont know what to say..... I am sorry u feel so sad! but look at it this way if you do move the wedding back he will get to do the training like he wants....but you guys have more time to save for your wedding and maybe get a few upgrades you didnt think youd afford having it in sept! I dont know if i helped at all but i am sending u some more love!!!!!!!! if u need to talk or vent or whatever u can FM me!

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Posted by rkl1130

I'm so sorry for crashing.

I am so sorry you are going through this.


FH is a Marine too, so I know how tough it can be--not only on you, but your FH too because everyone is always so torn between things. FH and I got engaged almost 2 years ago (right before his 2nd deployment to Iraq). It's taken us a while to plan everything because of the deployments and trainings. I think you and your FH need to talk this out and let him know how you feel too. It won't help any if you don't. I know you want to be supportive, but you two will also have to compromise somehow.

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thank you so much. i appreciate it...it definitely is hard especially planning a wedding myself and going for my masters and working. And then another stressful thing comes into play and it ***** and its hard to handle...I give yuo so much credit for doing 2 deployments...you are such a strong person!!!!! FH loves his job in the Marine Corps but he siad he always had a plan- 4 yrs in the Marines and then become a cop. And he said I am helping him stick to that plan. And I felt bad that I was making him stick to it even if he didnt want to...but he said he does want to and his mind just jumps off track and he is better off when I help him stay on track. But he said also it wont only be tough on me but on him and he doesnt know if he can handle it....THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Yeah its funny cause I hung up with him and 10 mins later he called me and said he heard it in my voice that I was upset. Well after 1/2 hour of talking about this situation....he goes- so did you chat with your LIW girles about this and then I laughed and he said 'well what did they say...'


lol

he is funny

glad that everything worked out!

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Posted by cbcf

Thank you all soooo much!! I appreciate the hugs....

Actually Fh just called me back and we talked for about another 1/2 hour about this. He called me back because he said he could hear it in my voice that I was upset. So I told him how I was feeling.

I told him that if he wanted it then he should go for it. That I DO NOT want to be the ONE who holds him back from something he loves cause I know he would never do it to me. I also told him which he knows that I support him in anything and any decision that he does or makes. He knew that I felt this way but he said he already made the decision NOT TO GO or extend his tour because of several reasons. He said the major one is his family and myself. He would never want to leave us alone god forbid something did happen. He also said he wants to come home and be able to call me his wife and the Marine Corps will NOT stop him from doing so...and the sooner the better he said haha....

But we talked and I told him I did not want him to give up something he wanted to do for his whole life just for me because even though I may not like it I Support him. But he kept saying he had reasons not to go. He said everything happens for a reason. He believes we got together for a reason and that reason may to keep him level headed and stay safe and come home to his family. Cause he said he never knows if we werent together and he went over he could have had a horrible experience there. SO he said I should not feel selfish and that he made this decision not only because of me and his family but because of his own safety and health and mental reason!!!

THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!!!!!

You all made me feel so much better ....

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i read the first half, and i really wanted to respond right away but i couldn't b/c of work...so i came back on now to respond, and when i read this i got tears in my eyes!!

i'm so happy it worked out for you catie!! he is a great man and obviously you are an amazing girl, which is what made his decision for him. i couldn't be happier for you!

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

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Posted by cbcf

Thank you all soooo much!! I appreciate the hugs....

Actually Fh just called me back and we talked for about another 1/2 hour about this. He called me back because he said he could hear it in my voice that I was upset. So I told him how I was feeling.

I told him that if he wanted it then he should go for it. That I DO NOT want to be the ONE who holds him back from something he loves cause I know he would never do it to me. I also told him which he knows that I support him in anything and any decision that he does or makes. He knew that I felt this way but he said he already made the decision NOT TO GO or extend his tour because of several reasons. He said the major one is his family and myself. He would never want to leave us alone god forbid something did happen. He also said he wants to come home and be able to call me his wife and the Marine Corps will NOT stop him from doing so...and the sooner the better he said haha....

But we talked and I told him I did not want him to give up something he wanted to do for his whole life just for me because even though I may not like it I Support him. But he kept saying he had reasons not to go. He said everything happens for a reason. He believes we got together for a reason and that reason may to keep him level headed and stay safe and come home to his family. Cause he said he never knows if we werent together and he went over he could have had a horrible experience there. SO he said I should not feel selfish and that he made this decision not only because of me and his family but because of his own safety and health and mental reason!!!

THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!!!!!

You all made me feel so much better ....

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i read the first half, and i really wanted to respond right away but i couldn't b/c of work...so i came back on now to respond, and when i read this i got tears in my eyes!!

i'm so happy it worked out for you catie!! he is a great man and obviously you are an amazing girl, which is what made his decision for him. i couldn't be happier for you!

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thanks Jeanette....yeah Fh is an amazing guy. And I just felt horrible asking (well not really asking but feeling as if I was asking) him to give up something that he loved. but he said he wasnt giving up anything. he is still in the marine corps doing what he loves he is just not going somewhere dangerous...which is a better outlook for me!!

thanks again...and i know i was sitting here at work with tears in my eyes as well