Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

hotelcalie Posted: Mar 09, 2003 09:42 PM

Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

We are going for our marriage license tomorrow morning and I still cant decide on the whole name change thing!!! HELP!! I LOVE my last name, it is who I have been for 25 years. He has a nice last name too and he said as long as I take his name in some way he doesn't care. So what should I do? Change it to his or hyphenate?? I would hyphenate but everyone who has done that totally regrets it..but my sister who did change hers totally regrets that too. HELP!!!!!!!!!

prncssrachel Posted: Mar 09, 2003 09:44 PM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

Why not keep your last name legally and take his socially? So you are Mrs. SoandSo to everyone you meet, but your bills will have your maiden name. I think this is what I am going to do.

WithThisRing Posted: Mar 09, 2003 09:44 PM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

i am of no help..i am changing everything to his name. I cant wait to be Mrs. XXXXX and have my name and his on the mailbox.

I look forward to the day when someone says to me for the first time 'hello Mrs. XXXX

I think professionally though i'll be keeping my last name

Sunny Posted: Mar 09, 2003 09:45 PM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I know how you feel- I had the same problem as you. The deciding factor was when I have kids, I want them to have the same last name as both parents.

jennbaby Posted: Mar 09, 2003 09:45 PM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I am changing mine. I can't wait, but if you really feel you don't want to then hypenate

JodiBabe Posted: Mar 09, 2003 09:51 PM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I will be changing my last name to his although he doesn't care if I didn't want to. I thought of hyphenating mine & his together but too long. I was engaged once before when my daughter was younger & planned to hyphenate my name then because of her but no need to now that she is older.

yabbobay Posted: Mar 09, 2003 10:59 PM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I think you should hyphenate...while I thought I would have no problems giving up my last name...here I am 8 months later...still haven't gotten to SS!!!

lilmrs Posted: Mar 09, 2003 11:13 PM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I will be changing my name, MIGHT keep my name for work...but it's a small chance that will happen. I really don't have a problem taking his name. It's just a name, not WHO or WHAT I am.

VickiC Posted: Mar 10, 2003 08:21 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I took his name also - but I moved my maiden name to my middle name. This way, I got to keep my name, and add his on also.

Jess2 Posted: Mar 10, 2003 08:24 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I'm also changing mine, but you could keep your maiden name for work and take his name legally, that could be an option.

avesur Posted: Mar 10, 2003 08:56 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I am hyphenating for legal things, but in my work I am keeping my own. He doesn't care at all

Sassy Posted: Mar 10, 2003 09:07 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I read (thanks ebony) that if you hyphenate, you can legally go by either last name. You don't always have to use them together. If this is the case, I will hyphenate, and use my own by itself whenever and wherever I want

AlisonMT Posted: Mar 10, 2003 09:30 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

Liz, that's what I heard too and am hoping it is true because I also really want to keep both names but want to be able to use either one!

Sassy Posted: Mar 10, 2003 09:32 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

lET ME LOOK for the info where I read that.
BRB

Chloegirl Posted: Mar 10, 2003 09:32 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I really dont want to lose my last name completely and it is too long to hyphenate. So I am using the initial. So my name is my first name, middle name initial, my maiden name initial, and then my FH's last name. Sounds kind of cool and I know some people who have done it and are happy they did.

Sassy Posted: Mar 10, 2003 09:34 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

THE FIRST INFO:

a combination name separated by a hyphen, provided that each part of such combination surname is the premarriage surname, or any former surname, of each of the spouses.

a name combining into a single surname all or a segment of the premarriage surname or any former surname of each spouse.

Surname Options
Every person has the right to adopt any name by which he or she wishes to be known simply by using that name consistently and without intent to defraud. A person's last name (surname) does not automatically change upon marriage, and neither party to the marriage is required to change his or her last name. The bride and groom need not take the same last name.

One or both parties to a marriage may elect to change the surname by which he or she wishes to be known after the marriage by entering the new name in the appropriate space provided on the marriage license. The new name must consist of one of the following options:

the surname of the other spouse;

any former surname of either spouse;

a name combining into a single surname all or a segment of the premarriage surname or any former surname of each spouse.

a combination name separated by a hyphen, provided that each part of such combination surname is the premarriage surname, or any former surname, of each of the spouses.

The use of this option will provide a record of your change of name. The marriage certificate, containing the new name, if any, is proof that the use of the new name, or the retention of the former name, is lawful.

The local Social Security Administration office should be contacted so that its records and your social security identification card reflect the name change. There is no charge for this service.

Whether you decide to use or not use this option at the time of your marriage license application, you still have the right to adopt a different name through usage at some future date. However, your marriage license cannot be changed to record a surname you decide to use after your marriage.

sparkette Posted: Mar 10, 2003 09:39 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

We made this decision last night. FH gave no pressure either way. After 38 years with the same name, and being very established in my career it was a difficult decision.

My last name will become my middle, and drop my middle name.

I willl now be: FIRST MAIDEN FHLAST

For work, I'll continue to use my last name, and socially his.

AlisonMT Posted: Mar 10, 2003 11:02 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I'm confused...I wanted to do what sparkette did (My first name - My last (as middle) - His last, with no hyphens) but I was told that NY State Law won't allow this on a marriage certificate...does anyone know???

Scoop Posted: Mar 10, 2003 11:05 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I hyphenated my name for all my paper work only. At work, I still go by my maiden name and socially I go by his. I wasn't ready to give my name up so easily. So far, this is working for both of us. I told my husband when we have kids, I'll only go by his name.

septbride Posted: Mar 10, 2003 11:20 AM

Re: Need to decide tonight - Change Name??

I was also debating changing my name but I decided to just add FH's last name to mine but not hyphenate. So my last name becomes my middle name. Hope this helps.

Septbride

AllisonMT -- a few of my friends have done the same so I'm pretty sure that NY State does allow it.