Need to find a role for my cousin - HELP!! (updated)

IreneinChicago Posted: Feb 07, 2004 11:58 AM

Need to find a role for my cousin - HELP!! (updated)

After a big blowout yesterday b/c I am not inviting my 19 year old cousin to be in BP, I need to find a role for her during the ceremony or reception. Any ideas?

Update: I talked to one of my BM's who said that I should basically do what I want, and to find out whether my cousin even cares about this. Sometimes its the parents that create the drama. I just talked to her, and she didn't even know what I was talking about. She was very sweet and offered to help out in any way. It was no big deal to her at all.

cocoa Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:03 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

what about handing out programs or tossing stuff??? being in charge of the guest book or collecting envelopes and gifts???

nferrandi Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:09 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

You can have her help pass things (programs, tossing rice/flowers, etc...) at the ceremony and than thank her for her help in your program.

butterfly20 Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:11 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

hand out programs,
hand out bubbles...

walk the gifts to the alter(if a church mass)

kimmie Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:14 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

Are you doing any readings at the church? My 20 year old cousin is doing one of our readings and my FBILs girlfriend is doing the other. I wanted them to be involved someway so that is what I did!! GOOD LUCK

bizzybridesmom Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:19 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

I like the idea of having her do a reading. It seems more of an important role to me than handing out programs. JMO.

IreneinChicago Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:19 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

Thanks, I've been thinking about having her doing a reading but my FH got upset b/c his sister is doing one. He felt that it should be someone close to you. I was thinking of asking my uncle (cousin's dad) to do the other one. Do you think if I ask her to do program's etc, she'll feel like she was demoted to a menial task?

2003fallwedding Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:45 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

If she doesn't like handing out programs and stuff then she has no role, its up to her. I read your last post and I agree with you. You have who you want in your BP. Good Luck!!

2UNTAMED Posted: Feb 07, 2004 01:30 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

I think you can have as many readers as you want. I would definalty ask her instead of handing out things. It's more personal.

PrincessRose Posted: Feb 07, 2004 01:39 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

Since I read the other post, I'd have to say that asking her to do a reading would be rude to your FSIL.

I still don't understand why she (and your aunt and uncle) are making such a huge deal. My uncles both got married in my lifetime and never asked me to be a part of anything. Yeah, I was hurt, but I didn't cause a family crisis.

Give her the programs.

butterfly20 Posted: Feb 07, 2004 01:48 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

she hasnt been demoted, because she wasn't made a bridesmaid..

in my opinion---i would save the readings for people who are closer to you instead, if you give her the same job you are giving people close to you, then its basically putting her at their level of importance......

1017Bride Posted: Feb 07, 2004 01:54 PM

Re: Need to fine a role for my cousin - HELP!!

I agree with the idea of handing out programs (or the related ideas) for your cousin. I think its nice you want to include her some way in your wedding but you shouldn't have to feel forced to give her a reading or put her in the BP if you are not that close to her.