Sorry guys I just need to vent a little. FH is pissing me off. He is like why are you stressing about all this stuff, it will get done. I'm like well your not doing it that is why you are not stressed. I dont think he understands that everything we need to do takes research and time. We are getting married in April and that is like 8 1/2 months away. I dont think that is too much time. What if things go wrong or if you want something and cant get it at the last minute? He doesnt get it and it gets me so mad. Does anyone else have this problem? I just look at all that needs to be done and it is overwhelming, especially when you are trying to work and have a life at the same time. I ahve never planned anything even close to this so I am nervous. Anyone else in the same boat?
randella
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Re: Need To Vent!!!
Lists are a brides best friend, helps to avoid feeling totally overwhelmed and how great is it to check something off!! While I am completely anal retentive, my FH has done jack sh*t. I mean, he participates in everything and provides an opinion-- I would not make a final decision without him.. But, he is not too up on things.
I told him that it is the groom's responsibility to book the honeymoon.. and while he is researching, etc., it is always after me telling him to do so.
Think about it this way- it is not like your FH does not care- men just do not have the attention to detail, creativity and drive to be like how we are. I get anxious if something is not booked and is time sensitive- he has no comprehension of that.
julz33
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I know how you feel. My FH is not really that way, he is very helpful and involved. It is mostly friends and my family that say things loke that... Then after I finish something they say 'Well, I would have helped...' WHATEVER In the beginning I was more involved than my FH, probally because of this site and doing research. Once we started making appointments and going to meet the vendors he became more involved. Just focus on one thing at a time and you will be fine
Marisa&Brian
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Don't stress. - You have PLENTY of time !! Just do one thing at a time and check it off the list as you go......I know people who have planned the most amazing elaborate weddings in 4 months !! Once you choose something - STOP LOOKING !! Don't look at 5 billion different flowers, don't stress for weeks over an invitation- This is supposed to be fun !!
You just get to pick what you like, it's a simple as that !! - Have you done anything so far ??
Elaina
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I agree with Randella. My FH is the same way he never stresses anything and assumes they will work out. It sux thats why us other brides are here! Im really stressed too ...more about how much money the vendors want at contract!
bluetank
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See we are getting married around the same time so you get it. He just thinks I am crazy. I was trying to tell him that yes the bigger things are done for the most part, but there are so manylittle things also to do. He didnt know what a guestbook was. I know it is not a big deal at all but it still takes up time. Thanks so much. I feel a little better. Fh has been there for booking everything but he jsut says to do what I want because he knows I will make a good decision.
CaliforniaBride
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You took the words right out of my mouth! My FH is so clueless and he thinks that these things just fall from the sky into place and he has no clue how much work and time goes into research! And he is the one that wants this big hoop-la yet get so mad at me everytime I try to plan it. He keeps saying, 'Its not until April, this isn't necessary now.' And I tell him he is not in reality! So from now on, I am not going to ask him about his opinion b/c he just frustrates me :)
bluetank
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I keep telling FH that good people get booked very fast. When we first started planning he really laughed at me for looking at photographers and DJ's and all that. I think he realizes it a little more now. He tries to help but then do I trust him to go out and do it on his own. No!!! I would be really scared. All I want is for him to just understand and help organize a little. It doesnt help that he works nights so I have all night to think about this!!
angelbear217
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I totally know where you're coming from. It feels like you're reading my mind. My FI is the same way. The only thing he requested when we got engaged was to do the photo and video. For months I've asked 'Have you contacted any photographers yet?' I felt like a broken record. All he said was 'Yeah I'll get to it' Like you said as if one would magically fall from the sky. Why are men so slow??
randella
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I guess we are all sorta in the same boat.. At least my FI knows I am crazy and humors me :)
We got engaged on March 5, we had like all the big things booked before April was over.. During this period of time, I was a big ball of stress. I wanted everything done, contracts signed, etc. FFIL is a lawyer, so FH wanted to run EVERYTHING by him.. I am like, your dad does not know anything about a florist contract! Whatever.
I am starting to freak again- but I really don't mind doing it on my own- I am a control freak. FH is interested and involved.. but a man is a man! I am learning this now, I'm only 29!
LadyPrincess
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Posted by Marisa&Brian
Don't stress. - You have PLENTY of time !! Just do one thing at a time and check it off the list as you go......I know people who have planned the most amazing elaborate weddings in 4 months !! Once you choose something - STOP LOOKING !! Don't look at 5 billion different flowers, don't stress for weeks over an invitation- This is supposed to be fun !!
You just get to pick what you like, it's a simple as that !! - Have you done anything so far ??
I do agrees with with this. Chk the 05 board for the to do list ' that will be a start point
jrl0223
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Re: Need To Vent!!!
Posted by bluetank
I keep telling FH that good people get booked very fast. When we first started planning he really laughed at me for looking at photographers and DJ's and all that. I think he realizes it a little more now. He tries to help but then do I trust him to go out and do it on his own. No!!! I would be really scared. All I want is for him to just understand and help organize a little. It doesnt help that he works nights so I have all night to think about this!!
Bluetank, I feel like I was reading my own post...we have exactly the same situation.
But not only my FH who doesn't get it, my mother also. It's so hard for her to understand why I'm stressing, finally I sent her my to do list with the million and one things little things to think about. She told me she got tired just from reading it!
LADYLUV69
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It's a male thing. they have no clue( well some of them). don't stress yourself. take it one day at a time and one step at a time. you will be ok.
bluetank
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I know its a guy thing. They like to fix problems when they come up, but arent as good with going through the whole process. Thank you guys so much.
nov2004bride
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I did it all on my own!! My FI just came along when I told him too We booked everyone very early into our engagement. I just kept bugging him until he agreed to go Since I got all the big things out of the way now we never fight. It's hard doing it alone
bluetank
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It is hard to do it alone. I know he will go with whatever I decide to do, but itisnice to have someone there with you. We also booked the major stuff pretty early on. Now we have to do honeymoon, still need BM dresses, veil, headpiece and all the little stuff.
ckgmwedding
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I have to book everything in the one week I am visiting NY this summer. If it wasn't for you guys, I don't know what I would do!!!My Fiance is doing any of it either. He figures he helped pick out the band and the rest is up to me.
cluelessbride
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My FH was completely useless until about a month ago. I think they can't visualize, or comprehend all the details until the day draws near.
I made a list for him and a list for me, and asked him for a half hour so we can revie the lists together. When he saw everything written out, I think he got it. He also saw how much I was doing and what break he was getting and I think he felt grateful that I had taken on some tasks that he wouldn't be good at.
JoJoTeej
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Posted by bluetank
Sorry guys I just need to vent a little. FH is pissing me off. He is like why are you stressing about all this stuff, it will get done. I'm like well your not doing it that is why you are not stressed. I dont think he understands that everything we need to do takes research and time. We are getting married in April and that is like 8 1/2 months away. I dont think that is too much time. What if things go wrong or if you want something and cant get it at the last minute? He doesnt get it and it gets me so mad. Does anyone else have this problem? I just look at all that needs to be done and it is overwhelming, especially when you are trying to work and have a life at the same time. I ahve never planned anything even close to this so I am nervous. Anyone else in the same boat?
I'm getting married the week before you and I am going through that EXACT same thing!! 'Why do you need to worry about this now - you have 8 1/2 months!?' is all I ever hear out of his mouth. Then he calls me Bridezilla. Ignore him, I consult on final decisions, but stopped giving him daily updates. It works out much better.
JenniferLee111204
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my FH has been i would say really great. BUT there are a few things that he gives me lip about - like cry paks, etc. but our wedding is 3 months from today!
dont worry though, because you are OK on time. I dont mean to stop doing things, but just do one thing at a time, that is what I did, and i honestly saved myself lots of grief!
