I'm SO sorry for venting but I need to know if I am over reacting at all. My FH's family is driving me NUTS!!!!!!!
They want to know every little detail about the wedding & now their upset because we asked them to keep the guest list to a min. They keep making comments about how my family knows everything and about how my family probably got to invite whom ever they want which is SO far from the truth. I put a stop to my parents crazy guest list and honestly my FH's family has a big list. This woman wants to invite the whole world!! Well, then she should be paying for this damn wedding. But she's not so I don't think she has any right to tell me how to plan our wedding. Am I wrong? I'm sorry this is long & I'm sorry for venting but I know a few brides on here feel my pain.
Thank you for listening!!
emcheung
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Re: Need To Vent
sorry fellow jericho terrace bride. you kinda have to expect things like this to happen. it wouldn't be stressful wedding planning if it didn't. don't worry, it'll all blow over pretty soon. it's your wedding, they're just going to have to deal.
rozeyro
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I hear ya, girl. I think its natural for your family to know everything that's happening b/c you're the one planning most of it (duh!). Don't even worry about it.
Bride4Mike07
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I had the same problem...except it was FH's fault. I asked FH to ask his mom which ppl we were inviting to the wedding. He failed to do so...in turn, he had a list of like 30 ppl. LOL...When his bro got married, we saw lots of ppl at the wedding. Turns out, they were all family, and they were all expecting to come to our wedding. As a result, we now have a growing list of about 30 on his side, which would give us a total of over 120, our room's maximum! We don't know what we're going to do we just invite and see who RSVPs....I did however stress to him that it was OUR wedding and that if he didn't feel comfortable inviting these ppl, then he didn't have to. God knows I come from a big family and I didn't invite nearly half my aunts and uncles! I had to keep a level of class there...LOL I would say the same to you. It is YOUR wedding, not FMIL, I would meet with both FH and his mom to discuss this list and inform them of who's paying for the wedding. Good luck....
2Be1
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Who is paying for your reception?
poisonivy918
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they shouldn't say anything. most grooms don't get to invite a lot of people. my fiance sure isn't. because my family is paying for it all! whoever is paying the big bill should have more say.
imas98
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Hey Date Twin ! You are not wrong in the least !! Sorry you're going through this stress. The guest list was the MOST stressful thing for us. We told our parents they'd each get a table of friends and that's it !! We're paying for our wedding so our parents even tried to buy extra seats for people !!! We said no because it's not just the money it's that the room isn't big enough & we didn't want a huge wedding !!!! Good luck to you.....don't stress about it. (39 days until the wedding woo hoo !!)
Pencils
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The only thing you can do in that situation is when someone says 'your family knows all about it' or 'your family is inviting everyone' you just have to say, very calmly, 'No. They don't.' Or, 'No. They're not.' Don't get into it, no explanations, just 'No.' Then change the subject. You can't let them bait you, which is what they're trying to do. You'll drive them crazy by obviously NOT letting them get to you.
No one told us wedding planning would be this stressful.
alison1daland
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When they say some thing about 'well, YOUR family' or 'HER family' you could always say 'well, yeah, I discuss it with my mother, and when YOUR daughter gets married, you can help HER plan.' or just ask if they are going to be this rude when you are officially family too...
Sept07Bride
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My FMIL is similar, except she wants nothing to do with the details of our wedding, and has not offered a penny and then gave FH a list with 15 couples that weren't even close friends, they were co-workers that she admits she's not that close to!
mycrayon1
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NOT AT ALL!! I know EXACTLY how you feel. FMIL has done exactly the same thing. It finally came to a head between us (leaving the paying for out) and shes now controling everything else she can namely the RD.
I would talk to FH and then if that doesn't work then try the FIL's.
Don't wory it'll all work out!
MrsRallis07
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Thanks girls for all your advice. It made me feel better to know I wasn't alone, lol!!! My FH & I are the ones paying for this wedding so when someone else tells me how to plan OUR wedding it just started to drive me nuts. I'm open to opinions but it should be our final say. Thank you again for all your advice & congrats to you all!!!
july06bride
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I feel your pain- my parents paid for the wedding, however groom's parents DID contribute to many of the vendors! THIs was generous- HOWEVER, just because my parents have a large family and his parents do not have a lot of family in the USA-his mom felt the need to invite EVERY person she has ever spoken to...including the accountant! We had to put a stop to that but they still wound up inviting people they were not even close to... but I felt bad because Dh didnt have a lot of family here,so we dealt with it!
