Need to vent (Long)

Need to vent (Long)

I just need to vent to people who will understand what I am going through. I am getting married on 5/15 and am having the ceremony and reception at the same location. Our plan is to have an outdoor ceremony and cocktail hour, weather permitting. Because we will have a few musicians playing during both the ceremony and cocktail hour, we thought it was important to have a rehearsal, just as one would have in a church. When I raised the issue with the hall two months ago, they initially balked at the idea because they 'normally do not do rehearsals. People just don't ask for them.' Well, that's fine but I don't care about other people. I want one for my own personal sanity so that everyone will know where to walk, set up, etc. I don't think that's unreasonable. Any way, we booked the rehearsal for next week and confirmed that we would be able to rehearse outdoors on that day. Fast forward to this week when I receive a call from the hall to confirm. The same person I dealt with in scheduling the rehearsal called me with a bit of an attitude. She told me that we won't be able to rehearse in the area that we will use for our ceremony and we'll have to use another section of the grounds because the party that booked that date will be using that area. In addition, she wanted to let me know that it will be crowded that day and that we'll come in and do it and then we can leave; as she puts it, it probably won't take more than 30 minutes. I told her that the whole point of the rehearsal was so that musicians can see the grounds, test their equipment, the bridal party can know where to walk, speed, etc....I really didn't feel like arguing with her any more, particularly as she was being so obnoxious about it all, like she was doing me a favor. Then she suggested that we move the rehearsal up an hour if we want to use the space. Ahhm, excuse me, but we work for a living and you can't expect me to move up the time for a rehearsal on such short notice, when we have confirmed the date and time weeks in advance and people are traveling from as far as central NJ to Long Island???

I know that I may be feeling tired and frustrated because the end is near but is it me, or has customer service totally gone out the window these days? I feel like people hear the word wedding and think that it's a license to treat you how ever they want because you're getting married. What ever happened to the customer is right and ensuring that they are happy? I am sure that none of this will matter on 5/15 but in the meantime, it creates unnecessary stress and frustration. Who needs it?

Any way, for those of you who are having your ceremony and reception in the same place, are you having a rehearsal? Am I crazy for asking for one? What was your hall's response and attitude? Please share.
Thanks in advance for listening. I'm taking deep breaths and trying to stay calm until May 16th when we leave for our honeymoon.

Re: Need to vent (Long)

Well, we had ceremony outside at the reception place and rehearsed 2 hours before the ceremony. Honestly, we couldn't have gotten the officiant to be there days before to rehearse and I did not want to force the bridal party to spare another night to practice walking down the aisle. It all went very smoothly anyway. That said, so long as they don't have another event going on there and staff will be present, I don't see why they are upset with you about wanting to rehearse...

Re: Need to vent (Long)

Re: Need to vent (Long)

Re: Need to vent (Long)

I totally know what you're talking about!!

I went to look at one hall and when I asked about a rehearsal the BM looked at me like I had 2 heads! He's like 'we don't do that, everything will be fine' and shrugged it off. I'm like NO, I want one.

So he said we could do it a half hour before the ceremony, and I'm like 'are you kidding?'. I don't want to see my FH beforehand and I don't want to be rehearsing while guests are arriving!!! Needless to say, we didn't book that hall!!!!!!!

I mean, they do this all the time, but they have to understand that weddings are not an everyday occurence for us and we'd like to do a run-thru. Why wouldn't we want to just bc we're not getting married in a church??? Doesn't make sense!!

Re: Need to vent (Long)

I am so sorry....


I know exactly what you mean, you are paying big $$$$$ on your wedding and you should be able to come in and prepare for your ceremony. Talk to whoever you can there and keep your time the same, if you have this all confirmed, then theycan't change it!! Hang in there, I'm sure it will all work out for you.

I am having the ceremony and reception in the same place. When I looked around at halls, I always brought this up because to me, you should be able to rehearse. I was actually suprised that many halls don't allow that, don't find it necessary.....Excuse me? I find it very necessary (JMO).

I booked my hall because this did not seem to be a big issue and they actually offered me a discount if we chose to have the rehearsel dinner in their restaurant.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are almost there, hang in there....

Re: Need to vent (Long)

We were married at our hall and had a quick rehearsal/runthrough the day of the wedding. My hall told the bands where to set up (classical trio behind the ceremony chairs and the calypso band by the outside bar) I know you want to have the rehearsal for your own sanity, and you have every right to have one if you want, but in all fairness you don't rally need one.

Re: Need to vent (Long)

Ok...I'll stress along with you. I too am getting married at the reception hall and assumed that I would not be having a rehearsal but the priest said we should. I remember distinctly that my hall said there might be a problem if I wanted to rehearse because since its a one wedding at a time the grounds belong solely to the person having the function. So if I DID have one I'd have to do it on a tue or wednesday or something. I haven't called the hall yet (too much aggrivation and stress going on lately and haven't had a chance) but I plan to do it tommorrow. I think if having a rehearsal it might be beneficial to either move up the time or make it for another night when that area is not being utilized. I'm so sorry you're having a problem with this. There should be a law about not stressing out brides. All violators should have bamboo chutes stuffed under their fingernails!!!!

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Re: Need to vent (Long)

Re: Need to vent (Long)

we are getting married at the hall, i don't think a rehearsal is wrong of you. your hall should accomodate you. we are having a rehearsal but not at the hall, our choice, we are just doing it at the restaurant we rented out for the night

Re: Need to vent (Long)

Re: Need to vent (Long)

I got married at Oheka and did not have a rehearsal. They would have allowed me to on, but I did not see the point. I highly doubt that your musicians will come to the rehearsal. They don't need to rehearse because they have done it a million times before.

Re: Need to vent (Long)

I am also getting married at the hall with 2 seperate musicians... We are having our rehearsal the day of 1 hour before the wedding begins... But I am also having an RD so we will do a run through in our backyard that same night... I got the dimensions of everything and my backyard is perfect so the BP will know the timing...

Re: Need to vent (Long)

Re: Need to vent (Long)

Re: Need to vent (Long)