Need to Vent: Why does everyone else get what they want?

So yesterday FMIL calls me to say that B (FH's grandma) wants to walk down the aisle and do I want to do that. Truthfully, I hadn't thought about it and it actuality I really don't care if the grandmas walk down but IMO, I don't see the point.

So I told FMIL that I hadn't thought about it but would get back to her. And then she started - very nicely - 'well at my wedding the grandparents walked down.' And so I told her that there are no set rules -- everyone does what they want. But I really hate that for MY wedding, FMIL gets whatever she wants. I'm anticipating so many other ceremony-related and final Fox Hollow-related problems. And every time the wedding comes up with her, it makes me sick to my stomach and my father gets furious because she's made me miserable for the last 10 months.

I know the way FMIL is -- if she doesn't get what she wants, she'll just keep asking and asking and asking until it gets so annoying that people just give in to her. Like I said, I don't know why this is bothering so much.

As for FH's grandma, I really don't believe how much it means to her that her 'only grandson is getting married.' After all, she missed my shower because she had show tickets (the person planning the shower made an innocent mistake with the date.) I don't know, if it were REALLY important to her, I would have thought she would have skipped the show and just lost the money. But whatever. But if its so important to grandma, why hasn't she called me once to ask how the wedding planning is going? Why was she the ONLY person not to write a nice little note on the response card?

But I know I have to choose my battles. However, I feel like it's always about what everyone else wants.

i know how you feel. My FMIL Is the same way. if she doesnt get what she wants, she stops talking to me or fh, believe that crap? It is silly. i think it is all about how fmil's feel that they are losing there son, which is so sad cause they should not feel that way..

if you want my honest opinion, i would leave it alone for a few days - dont answer yet

in the end, i guess it wouldnt be the worst thing if the grandma walked down the aisle.

I lost 2 Grandmas and an uncle in the past month. I am so glad that my grandmas got to walk down the aisle and participate. If she wants to walk now and its no big deal to you, let her walk down. I am so glad we will have that video and photos to remember them by.

as far as your FMIL goes, change your number so that witch cant call you anymore

Isn't she going to walk 'down the aisle' when getting to her seat?



Just take your time and think about it.

I think it's more about FMIL than grandma, isn't it?

We had the grandparents walk down the aisle, and 90% of the wedding's we've gone to also had their grandparents walk down.

I don't see why it's a big deal to just let them do it - wouldn't it take more energy and cause more hostility to say 'No, we don't want you walking down the aisle'?

In the end, you're still the bride and no matter who walks where and does what, the focus will be on you and your FH....

In regards to Fox Hollow - go with FH ALONE - don't tell her when the final meeting is, that way she doesn't have an influence on your decisions. Our parents paid for Fox Hollow, we told them how much it was, and they gave us the money, and we went by ourselves.

Oh, and if it isn't enough - there were ONLY two seats at Fox Hollow when we met with Jen for menu review, and only two seats when we met with the BM for the final payment - TWO - you and your FH.....no room for anyone else...

Well.. if his grandmother walks the walk... all surviving ones need to as well! I would call her and as how she feels about it...

My FMIL wants EVERYTHING sentimental to HER (even wanted us to have our reception at this place, now looks like a DUMP.. because that is where hers was... so it may be something FMIL wants, but not the grandmother... i would have FH or yourself ask the grandmother her feelings about it...

in the end, remember this is up to you and FH!