Need to Vent!!!!!!!!!!!updated

I'm just so dissapointed girls. When I picked my BP I knew it in my heart that these girls were my best friends in the world (with the exception of FH's sisters, I had to choose them b/c of my 'obligation') Well I come to find out that my MOH, 1 of FH's sisters are the only 2 girls in the party really pulling their weight in my shower and that another BM is helping out as much as she can (but not that much) Now, I have bent over backwards for every single one of these girls and now I see their true colors coming out! My own cousin, flesh and blood, hasn't even bothered to call my MOH back to see if she needs anything! I am soooooooooooooooooooo sad, dissapointed, angry!!!!!!!! Now, I know 'traditionally' it's the brides mother and MOH who throw the shower but these girls know that I don't have a mother I can count on. (she lives in Brazil, she's dirt poor and we don't talk all that much) I really thought these girls would step up to the plate and I was sooo wrong!!!! I even asked my cousin's little boy to be in the wedding because I thought it was the right thing to do. My cousin gets a lot of grief from our family because her child is biracial. I love my cousin and her son and I think it is despicable what our family says. I wanted her to know that I love her and her son and I support them, now my cousin is totally ducking responsibilities with the shower. I know I'm ranting and raving here but I think this has been one of the biggest dissappointments I've had in my life! FH has always told me that I should't expect people to do what I do for them. It's true, but it hurts! These people mean so much to me and they are letting me down!!!! OK I think I'm done now, I can't take the agita over this!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

I hope everything works out for you in the end - Don't worry it will. And we are always here for you to vent - never say I am sorry - we all feel this way sometimes.

I know that these girls mean a lot to you and it can be disappointing. Unfortunately, people will do what they can and you can't expect anything from them. I am the type of person who 1-if you are my friend you are my friend for life. I don't care if 2 years go by and I haven't spoken to you. Still a friend. and 2- I will do anything for my friends. With that said, I choose wisely bc I know that people will take advantage and that's when I cut them loose.

Maybe you can do a little something extra for the girls who are chipping in more. Why don't you wait and just see what happens at the shower.

I wish I could offer more.

Don't worry! It'll all work out in the end. Maybe your friends are jsut having really busy times in their lives right now.

Thanks for the hugs and advice girls.... Well I spoke to my cousin, and she's going to help out my MOH financially. She can't come to the shower (she live sin FL can't take off of work) and I totally understand. All I asked her is just help out my MOH and so she called my MOH and said she was going to mail her a check. Hopefully this will take some of the stress of my MOH. I also talked to the other BM. At first she was like 'Oh I thought it was the MOH and the mother who threw the shower.' I had to point out to her that I basically don't have a mother and if she could please help out MOH. I don't know what will happen, wether she will help or not, that remains to be seen. If she doesn't help out well then I know where I stand with her....I'm really stressed over all this, I feel physically sick. It's just such a let down when the people you think are the most important people in your lives just don't turn out the way you thought they would. Just so sad!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

I am so sorry you are going through this. BP's so far have been the most trouble for me up till this piont. One of my girls just drop out because like you said their true colors really come out. We sat down had a long talk about thinks and I didn't ask her to drop out but I did tell her that she does have to do some work and I can't do it for her. For EX; going with me to pick out dresses or going by her self to get fitted for her dress, plus a lot of other stuff. So I told her that if you don't have the time or you just don't want to do these things then tell me that you want out of the party, that I am not going to be mad at you if you leave but I have to know that you are going to pull your own weight or you want to leave. So she left and now I feel like a big weight has been lifted off.
I hope this might help, and I hope things work out for you.

Dealing with people is one of the hardest things in the world, whether it is future in laws, friends, parents etc...I'm hoping things will turn out ok, thanks for you kind words!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Kitty Kat!!! Everything will work itself out.. Don't let the BM's stress you out.. bc they will and it's YOUR day!!!

I am sorry sweetie to hear you are going through all this ~ All I can offer you are some



right now...

my Fh says the same thing:
FH has always told me that I should't expect people to do what I do for them. It's true, but it hurts!

try to you are getting married in a few months & you will have a new life with FH!

I'm so sorry you have to have this stress on you especially when you shouldn't really even be involved in the planning of your shower. I hope everything works out.
I'm so sorry!!!

Here are some happy hugs to cheer you up.