Need your advice about FH's friends - LONG

FH has a group of friends that he hangs out with pretty much every Saturday night since high school. Ever since FH and I started dating, I knew that these guys and I would have to try and get along.

I made my efforts but really, we don't have a lot in common. I don't hang out with them on Saturday nights since that's guys' night. But now, since most of them have gotten girlfriends, the rules have changed and Saturday night is a general hang out night. I like my Saturday nights and continue to spend them at home, hanging with my mom.

Recently, I've noticed that FH and I are left out of more and more get-togethers. For example, tonight, there was a surprise birthday party for one of his friends' girlfriends and as usual, no one called to let us know. This has been the case for the last year or so and it's been a strain on my relationship with FH.

Sometimes, I get to the point where I cannot imagine how I will continue to share my life with FH...and these friends. I often feel like that all of this crappiness is an attempt to split us apart.

What's worse is that these people are going to be invited to my wedding!

So, my question is this: How do I make peace with this issue? I will probably never be friends with these people but am willing to be civil. However, if we keep being left out, I don't think that I could even be civil.

Thanks all

I don't understand something. It's obvious you rather not hang out with them so why do you care if you are not invited to get togethers?

If it's because your FH's feelings are hurt, then its up to him to find out why you guys are not being invited to these things. Maybe he said something in passing to them to make them think that you do not like them or would rather stay home. You shouldn't let these people strain your relationship.

But if ou really want to mend the fences, whyn ot invite them all to your house? Have a little get together. You really have no idea what is going on in their mind so it may be something simple that was micommunicated to them.

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Posted by Dooodles

If it means a lot to your FI and these people are going to be in his life, then I suggest making an effort every once in awhile to get together with them. If they get together every Saturday and you can't make an effort for them, why would they make an effort to invite you anywhere? Is it worth it to FI for you to grin and bear it once in awhile? And maybe not go so much into detail with FI. It's got to be putting him in a horrible situation

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I have to agree. FH has a couple of friends that I don't really care for, but when they have a get together I always say, Let's GO, because he doesn't see them often, and i know it is important to him.

YOU need to make the effort first, before they will return the favor.

Put yourself in their place. - Your best friend is getting married, and her FH refuses to hang out w/ the whole crew you have known and loved since HS. - WHY ? What's wrong w/ you guys? what kind of snob is He ? (I'm not saying YOU are a snob, but that may be their perception) .....So after awhile, you say the hell w/ your friend's FH, you're tired of inviting him out, just for him to refuse. - Which puts your friend in a bad spot w/ both her FH, and her friends who feel snubbed -

If his friends are rude or nasty to you, that is one thing, but for you to never hang out w/ them simply b/c you don't have much in common, I think you are being unfair to your FH, and possibly not giving his friends a chance. - Granted, you obviously have your own life and your own interests - and you should not have to be out w/ the same people EVERY Saturday night. - But you need to make an effort to get along w/ his friends - b/c you may not care about being left out - But I'm sure your FH is very hurt by it. -
And although I don't know the situation, or his friends, I doubt they're leaving him out b/c they're trying to break you up- They probably just feel like he's drifting away from the crew. -