Need your help ladies....what would you do?? UPDATED

Okay so some of you know I have vented about how nothing has been done by my MOH about a shower. My parents are paying for it, and basically told her (my MOH is my cousin) that all she had to do was find a place, maybe put together the favors, and they would handle everything else.

Well here I am with 8 weeks to go until the wedding, and they haven't even booked a place yet. I shouldn't even know about these things, but because my entire family is so pissed off about it, I'm hearing it. My cousin (MOH) has thrown the searching responsibility on my aunt, which to me is unfair, because this should not be put on her. My mother would do it, but she has multiple health problems.

After speaking to my father tonight, he basically told me maybe I should just plan it myself, because it seems like if I leave it to them, nothing will get done. FH thinks I should just drop the whole thing and forget about having a shower at all.

I am so done with this. My entire family is pissed off and disgusted that this is happening, because I busted my azz for her shower, and yet nothing is done with mine.

Should I just plan this myself? Should I wait and see what happens? Or should I just forget it about it completely?


UPDATE: Just got off the phone with my aunt. I told her she shouldn't have to worry about handling this, but she told me, I love you, we're family, and don't stress about this, it will get done.

Apparently they were taking a while because it's been hard for them to find a date when everyone is available. We're gone one weekend, his parents are gone another weekend, my SIL is going away, so it's been hard for them to pick a date. I kept asking her 'is this under control, or is it better if I take this off your and MOH's hands?' and in a nutshell she told me it's under control.

I'm going to wait about 2 weeks, and then check with my parents if there is any progress. If not, then I will just handle it myself or get help.

ugh janna what a frekkin pain!!!

Im sorry you are goingthrough this.

HAve you talked to your cousin at all?

I think that if anything your mom should take over because time is running out!!!

first let me just say... wow, your MOH stinks! especially after you planned her shower.

knowing me, I would confront her about it.

every bride deserves a shower. why don't you pick the place and have your family and bridesmaids help out?

Do you have someone else who can handle this- a close friend?

If there is no one else- I would secure the place yourself and I am sure your family will rally and take care of everything else. You don't want to not have a bridal shower out of spite.

I picked my bridal shower place-- but, there was a place that I knew where I wanted to have it- I went with my mom to look at it- and then she handled everything else--

Things don't always happen how they traditionally are supposed to happen- you need to do what you need to- to make yourself happy.

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Posted by christy

Could they be trying to throw you off?

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Nope, I know for a fact they are not throwing me off.

For one, I had to call my cousin on this 3 weeks ago, and she hadn't started anything then. Then I spoke to my brother yesterday and he said he would talk to them this weekend about it because he was pissed that nothing is done. Then my mother today told me that they might have found a place to have it, but they're not sure.

Also I have someone on the invite list who will tell me when she gets the invite, and that hasn't happened yet.

My father is disgusted, my mother is pissed off, and my brother is upset about this too. I haven't checked with my other brother yet to see how he feels.

I was under the impression that your mother plans the shower. I am not expecting my MOH to do it.

I am sorry that your shower situation is so messed up! You shouldnt have to be dealing with this situation so close to your wedding. (or really at all)

If you didnt have a shower, would you really be totally upset or would you be able to deal with it?? If you would be really upset, I would say something to your cuz asap. If not, I would just wait until after the wedding and then let your cuz know what a pain in the azz she was and how you didnt appreciate her lack of concern for you. In the meantime, talk to your mom and see if you can get something going, if even just a small intimate shower.

aww janna

Im sorry to hear this, I know you shouldn't be handling it but maybe you can suggest some places to her to get the ball rolling? Just a thought, I would try to have one if you need household items.

my dad has a saying that i find to be SOOOO true.....

' if you want something done, you have to do it yourself'

. and its just sooo true- you just can't depend on other people sometimes....it *****, especially when you bend over backwards to help them, but unfortunately, its true.
i would sort of take things into your own hands now. every bride deserves a shower, a day to feel special and spoiled it doesn't have to be super fancy- my shower was just at my aunts house with finger sandwiches and stuff, and people were saying it was the most fun shower they've been to... you deserve SOMETHING.
if you do the work to find the place, could your mom maybe do the rest? like invitations and pick the menu? do you have another BM that you could ask to take over?? it *****, but i think you need to take things into your own hands now.... and just remember soon, all this stress will be over, and you and DH will be relaxing on the honeymoon!

Can your Fh try to take some of the reigns on this?

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Posted by marymoon

Can your Fh try to take some of the reigns on this?

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My FH is the one who thinks I should forget about even having a shower all together!!! I get what he means when he says 'is it really all that important in the grand scheme of things?' but damn it, I have gone to everyone else's shower in my family, am I not entitled to have one also??

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Posted by BKtoLI

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Posted by marymoon

Can your Fh try to take some of the reigns on this?

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My FH is the one who thinks I should forget about even having a shower all together!!! I get what he means when he says 'is it really all that important in the grand scheme of things?' but damn it, I have gone to everyone else's shower in my family, am I not entitled to have one also??

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He just doesn't get it! I would feel the same way you do. I don't know what to tell you

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Posted by suven

Is there any possibility that this is all a 'setup' to keep you off track?

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Nah, my family is not good at lying or acting.

My mom said to call my aunt tonight, so I'm going to call her now. It will take all of my strength to not be pissed off and start venting.

So sorry your MOH is dropping the ball on this

Do not plan it yourself. You have too much going on to worry about planning your own shower. The fact that your parents are paying is a huge burden off of your MOH. My sister and best friend are paying for/planning my VA shower and my good friend (also in the wedding) is handling the NY shower all by herself. She even made up a bridal shower binder

If your MOH does not book a place by week's end, I'd demote her and let a BM (newly appointed MOH) handle it along with your parents.