When I first got engaged, I picked all my bridesmaids and asked if they would like to be in my wedding. Well, they all said yes and I was happy with my decision.
Now, I am not SO sure. I have one friend I barely talk to, and I really would rather her not be in the wedding party. I have not spoken to her in 6 months (as long as I have been engaged). I really asked her only because I felt I had to, since we were friends so long. If I don't have her, I would either have a smaller BP, or ask one of my cousins.
Lately, I have wanted to cut out all of my Bridal party, with the exception of MOH and BM. Only one girl in my BP ask's me about my wedding. I am not a pushy bride, but it would be nice for one of the girls to ask me how everything is going, at least once in the 6 months of me being engaged. Every time I metion anything about the wedding (and this is rare I talk about it) in front of my friends she just gets upset and says 'that will never be me'.
What should I do, I don't want to be a burden to these girls. Maybe they would have more fun as just guests. Sorry SO Long....
JenNeen
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion
First and formost you need to make yourself happy!
That being said you should think about whether or not this may be a phase you are going through. I find myself doubting most of the decisions I make about the wedding - only to then decide that the original decision was the right one.
If these people are really your friends you should be able to talk to them about your feelings. Maybe sit down with them and have a heart to heart. Maybe they don't realize that they aren't engaging enough.
suven
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Member since
Re: Need your opinion
honestly, none of the members of our bridal party asked or offered any help until we were 2 months or less away from the wedding. And, even then, only a couple of them offered to help with anything. I think the reason is that people, in general, don't think it's such a big deal to be in a bridal party. I think they believe their involvement only occurs on the wedding day, or just before the wedding day.
Actually, on of my bridesmaids called me not so long ago to let me know that she's a bridesmaid in another wedding and at that bride's shower, no one had to help the bride open the gifts because the waitresses at the restaurant helped...I felt a little insulted because just about the ONLY thing my bridesmaids helped with was opening the gifts on the day of my shower and now one of them had to let me know that she didn't even have to do that for the other bride...
janwinterbridejoy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion
i think that you should give it a few months before you make a choice you might change your mind on. i think that the phone works both ways and you can contact her as well. she might feel that your busy with your planning and doesnt want to disturb you. i would make an effort and if she doesnt seem to be interested then just tell her your making the bridal party smaller but at least you know you tried as well. my sisters were in my bridal party as well as 3 friends and the ones that asked me if i needed help or seemed the most interested were my friends. i wish i could have given them the door lol but they were family
Gonnacatchapeacock
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Member since
Re: Need your opinion
Definitely give it time -- all these decision to make - it's so easy to doubt them at times....
You can't worry about not speaking to a friend for 6 months,
I would honestly say at the time in my life, time goes by so fast, and when a lot of time planning a wedding - it may get tough.
I think you definitely will think differently as the big day approaches...you picked your BM's b/c there is a long term bond there - if they love ya & want to be there for you THEY will. They have to know (especially if some of them are married) how involved planning a wedding is.
I've heard lots of stories where weddings showed people who their friend & foes are. So many stories. I've experienced one myself.
I'm not gonna let it get me down. LIke I say so many times, the people who want to be there for you - will be. If they don't want to be, they won't
myssd
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion
Posted by JenNeen
First and formost you need to make yourself happy!
That being said you should think about whether or not this may be a phase you are going through. I find myself doubting most of the decisions I make about the wedding - only to then decide that the original decision was the right one.
If these people are really your friends you should be able to talk to them about your feelings. Maybe sit down with them and have a heart to heart. Maybe they don't realize that they aren't engaging enough.
