so my fh told me the other day that his sisters don't want to give us money for the wedding and wanted to pay for some sort of music at the church like trumpets and music at the cocktail hour. i was a little taken back bc i dont want trumpets and i have a band that will supply music at the cocktail hour. i asked my fh what he gave his sister for her wedding and he gave them cash for their honeymoon. so is it wrong to tell them that we would really like cash instead? i just dont see it as a gift if i dont want the music or trumpets and they do last time i checked it was our wedding not theirs...i also wouldn't mind them paying for something that we want as an extra, but i dont know if that is an option because they have not metioned anything to me yet
elisa112101
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ohh heck no!! tell him to tell them 'thanks but no thanks' if they want to contribute to the wedding then comeup with somthing else that you would be happy if they took care of it for you! but to make you have trumpets or somthing else that you dont want!!!! that would be a really crappy gift and a waste of thier money!
Jna2010
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i dont think its bad to ask for something else. Just let them know while you appreciate their gift and thoughtfulness you actually have that part of the wedding covered already, and then im sure theyll ask what youd like instead
Cassie15
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I think it would be best to sit down with your SIL and FH and discuss that you had already booked with a band that would provide music for the cocktail hour. An add'l trumpet/music is an unncessary cost. Let her know that you would rather have her chip in something that you could really use help on such as paying for the booked band, florist, etc. Another option is to register your HM (if you already booked it) and set up your account like a registry. This way your guests have an option of helping you out with your wedding expenses which is personally better than grabbing every item off your registry.
netsirk10
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maybe if you set up some kind of honeymoon registry they can put their money towards that (like a spa package or something)
nwkelsey
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The honeymoon is a good idea but it is being paid for.
MrsHazel2B
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I think it's generous of them to offer to pay for something, but they should ask you what you want. I would probably be frustrated if someone offered to pay for something that I didn't even want at the wedding, especially if it were something that was already taken care of... You should let them know how you feel and see if they make a different proposal.
