Need your prayers!

i posted about this a week or two ago so some of you may remember

FHs grandma is basically dying in a nursing home for the last few weeks....

i got really nervous around thanksgiving time b/c i started to get a bad feeling that she would pass on our wedding date - 12/5

i told FH and we spoke about what we would do if it happened as far as cancelling the wedding.....of course i kept worrying.....but tried to keep it to myself - b/c FH doesnt want to change the date BUT i feel like its creepy to get married the day his grandma died.....he doesnt seem to care at all - but i feel like it will ruin our day - i think its so morbid.....ugh.....

so all day today i was so happy because tomorrow is 12/5 our 1 year mark......and this weekend FH was teasing me and he told me he had a surprise for me and i just felt like this day was something to look foward to....i've been counting down the days for our one year mark....

well, that was until i got home from work today and FH told me that he had bad news.....he said that his grandma is not doing well (like this is it)....

please pray that it doesnt happen tomorrow....

i know this sounds horrible and mean but i feel like its going to ruin our wedding, our 1 year mark and it puts a damper on our engagement if we have to start thinking about changing our date.....ugh - i am so angry and mad and upset......i wish i didnt feel like this but i just want to scream....ive been crying since i got home....this *****!!!!!!!! i know FH thinks i am being insensitive to him and his family but i cant help that this is bothering me and making me mad and upset.....

so please girls - say a prayer that its not tomorrow!!

I will be praying!!

I will pray for you....but if it does happen, you could still do a lovely memorial (white rose on the alter or what have you) and keep it the same day without it being morbid....make it more of a loving memory, thinking about her being happy in heaven (if you believe that sort of thing of course....)

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Posted by Snickles56

I will pray for you....but if it does happen, you could still do a lovely memorial (white rose on the alter or what have you) and keep it the same day without it being morbid....make it more of a loving memory, thinking about her being happy in heaven (if you believe that sort of thing of course....)

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thats nice....but we already have quite a few dead relatives - and i have been totally against doing any sort of memorials, candles, pictures, speeches, etc. about any of them for the wedding......some people find it heartwarming at weddings - i think its unecssary and its not my cup of tea...i really dont want to depress anyone at my wedding - ive seen so many tributes at weddings that go wrong.....unless it was for my parents of course......

Nicole, I will be praying. When my Grandmother got sick , it was close to her 101st Birthday, as well as Debi's Birthday. I prayed and asked THE LORD to please allow my Grandmother to mark her 101st milestone, and to please not let her die on Debi's Birthday. So, Grandmother did indeed make it to her 101st Birthday, on May 20th, and did not die on Debi's Birthday on May 21st. Guess when THE LORD took her HOME?? May 22nd!!!!!!
What an answer to prayer!! Mary MOB

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Posted by longislandlibrarian

i will pray for you... but I agree that you could use it as a memorial...and honor her.. if it is the day of your wedding.....

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i know this might sound really mean and horrible....but she isnt my grandma, i really dont know her (she didnt really speak english - so even before she was sick i didnt really get to know her), FH isnt close with her and i want the wedding to be all about US and a happy day.....i dont want to honor someone that i really didnt know, and didnt love (well i can only speak for myself not FH).....i rather honor my cousin who passed away or my grandparents - but im not doing anything for them - so why should i do something for her? i know it might sound wrong and mean but im kind of angered that this day that ive been looking foward to for so long might be different if she passes....i feel like bad things always happen to me im trying not to be evil but i cant help but feel this way......

i know that will be sad and i truly hope it doesnt happen but IF it does you have to look at it as you will always remmeber her on that day. in the beg you may remember that she died on that day but in the future you will remember her.

FHs grandma died on his AUnts bday and although its hard to celebrate a bday on that day we do and we have a good time and we remember her.

GL!

ETA: i dont think that because you didnt love her or know her that you feel you shouldnt honor her.. you will be a married couple and this is FHs grandma - now i dont know him - ill just assume that he loves her and will miss her grately

If MY FH felt that way about my grandma I would be exptremely hurt.

Im not trying to be mean- but i felt i needed to say that



also- does it really matter if she died on that day or the day after? you will still associate it anyway.

you got it !

I will pray for her.. pray for fh and for you..

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Posted by jgl

i know that will be sad and i truly hope it doesnt happen but IF it does you have to look at it as you will always remmeber her on that day. in the beg you may remember that she died on that day but in the future you will remember her.

FHs grandma died on his AUnts bday and although its hard to celebrate a bday on that day we do and we have a good time and we remember her.

GL!

ETA: i dont think that because you didnt love her or know her that you feel you shouldnt honor her.. you will be a married couple and this is FHs grandma - now i dont know him - ill just assume that he loves her and will miss her grately

If MY FH felt that way about my grandma I would be exptremely hurt.

Im not trying to be mean- but i felt i needed to say that



also- does it really matter if she died on that day or the day after? you will still associate it anyway.

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i understand what you are getting at but i think that you are taking what i said the wrong way.....i cant love someone that i dont know.....and there are other people in BOTH of our lives who have already passed away that we have decided not to honor/speak about at our wedding. its a personal decision that we both made - and we dont want to mention any deceased family/friends at our wedding. i am not going to honor FHs grandma by default bc of the time of year she passed away.....i dont think that its fair to the people who have a special place in my heart that arent here with us either.....of course if that is something that FH wanted to do than i would understand....but if im not going to honor people that i knew and loved im certainly not going to honor someone i didnt.....

and to me the date does matter.....i dont want my wedding anniversary to also be the annivesary of my husbands grandmas death - that is weird to me....i dont want our wedding to be the 1 year anniversary of her death.....i dont feel comfortable partying on a day that someone died.....its just weird to me.....

FH said that bc she is so old people will be over it and nobody will care or think about it....and that the wedding should go on no matter what happens.....here i am - i dont even know or love this woman and i feel guilty celebrating b/c its the day she died.....

i also know that a part of me is selfish for feeling like this could ruin our day - that makes me angry at myself but i cant help my feelings.....

i feel sad for FH........

I REAAAALLLY hope this doesn't happen to you. My ex's father died on my son's 12th birthday and although in the aftermath of the divorce we grew apart (read:hated each other) I still think of him on my son's birthday and it is now tainted.

Plus, no matter how I felt about him, he was very important to my son and now my son remembers (as well as his dad and bro and sis) 'Oh, this is the day Grandpa died' on his birthday which honestly, stinks.

i would be worried and upset too... so i am praying for you guys!!!!!!

awww you, FH and his grandma will all be in my prayers!!!

Keep us posted!

Aw, you can't help your feelings! I hope she holds on - for the holidays even!! We're all praying for her health, comfort and recovery - and your sanity!