FMIL and I are still having problems...I am so nervous that something is going to happen to ruin our wedding (because of her). She is trying to tell FSIL not to talk to me either, and she is a BM. I am also worried that she will have some impact on FBIL's girlfriend who is also a BM. For those who do not know, FMIL and I are not speaking after she attacked me verbally (honestly, unprovoked) and possibly keyed my car. She wrote to me apologizing for her behavior, but she is still avoiding me and talking behind my back. I am not holding a grudge, I just don't feel comfortable around her either since she has not changed at all. I am just really worried about the wedding. I know things can change in the next year or so, but right now it's hard for me to put my heart into planning knowing either she is not going to be there, or if she is there she may do something negative. Please tell me I am worrying over nothing...please...
stevejamnik
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Re: Nervous
Maybe you should sit down and have a serious talk with her, and tell her how you feel. It might help clear the negative vibes that you are getting from her and give you piece of mind. From the sound of it things could only get better unless she is just miserable. Goodluck with everything
Wintersbride
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Re: Nervous
She's not rational. She's trying to tell FH's aunt that we (FH and I) don't like her, and we are just pretending to like her, and we don't want her to meet my family. I can't, nor do I really want to talk to her. Sometimes she's okay, other times not. I wish I had a tme machine...I would not have gone over that day if I did. The thing is, ever since FH and I have been together I have tried my best to get her approval, but when we got engaged, that's when trouble started (she is against marriage I think...I know she does not like men).
JPC1125
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Re: Nervous
what does your fh say about all this?
if it were me, which it kinda is but with my own mother, im just planning all around her, not telling her anything, and just taking pics with her the day of....then after the honeymoon, things should go back to normal
my fh has been my rock with all the stress my mom has put on me...but no more, im am just letting her say and do whatever she wants and say whatever she thinks and then doing what i want
for you, maybe you should arrange a girl night with fsil and the gf of fbil and talk it all out---how you feel, why you asked them , all positive things ....that way they know the truth from you and will have to deal with fmil on their own
SweetCin704
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Re: Nervous
I agree w/ anti-bride....I'd talk to your FSIL and talk out your feelings with her. It sounds as if FMIL is quite irrational. Sorry you have to deal with this. It's terrible that at a time when everything should be great and happy you have these conflicting feelings/messages from her.
Where does your FH stand on this? Does he support you? Did he have a talk with his mom?
In any event
halfpintny
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Re: Nervous
Glad to hear that I'm not the only one with FMIL issues...right before FH and I got engaged his mom called me the 'c' word...totally unprovoked. I swore to FH that I was never going to speak to her again. He sat down with her alone and told her that she was irrational and her behavior was unacceptable. That I was going to be his wife and she could choose to be a part of our lives but under no circumstances would he allow me to be subjected to such abuse. After so coaxing I did go over there again and as you can imagine it was very strained and of course I never got an apology but I kinda 'sucked it up' for the sake of things. If I didn't have such a supportive FH I don't know what I would do. He realizes his mom is a nut
Wintersbride
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Re: Nervous
FH told me from the beginning she was like this (she has never really been a mom to him). He supports me 100% and has tried talking to her, but he has just about had it w/ her. I have discouraged him from saying anything like 'I'm finished with you' to her because I think that would make matters worse, although he has already said that if she does not change her ways she will lose us both and any grandchildren. She was on best behavior for about 2 days and then went back. One day I came to visit his dad (they are divorced but allows his mom to rent from him), and she came running up the stairs saying that I don't care about their family and FH makes excuses for me (I could not go to his grandmother's once because I had tests to study for), and our marriage will never work because I wear the pants, and I only care about my own family, etc...
Bunnymonkey
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Member since
Re: Nervous
she sounds completely irrational and toally chemically imbalanced. She needs therapy, but there is nothing you can do about it. Let FH handle her directly, don't do anything to provoke her. Continue to be pleasant to her, and watch her dig her grave. Everyone (including siblings and family members) will start to see her for who she really is if this continues. Don't do anything to give her ammo and do not talk about her behind her back!! Thats what she wants.
It's understandlable to be nervous, but this is really her problem at the end of the day. If FH is 100% on your side, i think you are going to be okay.
Hang in there...everyone has at least one psycho in their/FH's family to deal with!!
