Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

KathleenG Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:45 AM

Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

Sometimes I feel as though I should just scrap the whole bridal party. I have one BM so jealous I suspect, that she won't call me, one too selfish to do anything, and my MOH (sister) won't be home (she's studying abroad) until May. My last BM is going through some personal problems of her own. I can't help but feel very lonely during this time. While I love the planning and looking forward to my life with FH I can't help but feel stressed. We can't even order dresses until everyone gets their sh!t together!!!!! Any advice on how to not go crazy???? Sorry for the vent!!!

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:46 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

besides not to think about it oo much....no advice but..if it makes you feel any better many of us have our issues with bridal parties.......hang in there date buddy our day will be here before you know it

nan&dave Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:48 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

All I can say, is that we're all here for you.

diamondgrlie Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:48 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

I'm sorry that you are feeling lonely, I feel that way too sometimes because there is soooo much to do and it all lays on our shoulders. Most of the time its fun but when things get complicated, it makes everything stressful instead.

I must admit, when my best friend got married 3-4 years ago, I went through a jealousy phase. I dont know why it happened... but after a few weeks I smacked myself mentally and then I acted the part of her best friend and MOH.

Cheer up, it will all work out!

And we are all here to talk if you need it, right?

kathy2176 Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:50 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

So sorry you are going through this! It drives me crazy that at a time when everything is supposed to be about you and your FH, people get so selfish. Just hang on tight and I am sure things will get better as the time gets closer! We are always here for you and we will be excited for you!!

KathleenG Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:52 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

Thanks ladies!! Why is it that we have such problems with our bridal parties? I have read so many posts regarding the same issue, at least I am not alone!!!

AliKing Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:57 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

Posted by KathleenG

I can't help but feel very lonely during this time.

I am sorry to hear about this!
You have us

divabride Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:59 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

I felt the same way as you...but I finally realized that Im in this alone. But do as Im doing. Feel sad for a moment, then pick yourself up and plan your wedding with your friends here. You guys know more about my planning and the decisions I make, more than my own bridal party. And I've also realized that although we talk about our weddings here, its because we are in this together. Everyone else in the outside world couldnt give two cr*ps about our wedding. That's why this place is so addicting!!! Now I've taken the attitude with my bridal party to just pick up your dress and be at the church on time. Hang in there, we are all on the same boat!!!

jill13bean Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:59 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

I feel for you....Once your sister comes home maybe things will get better. My MOH moved out of state so I am trying to include her as much as possible but she is far. One of my BM is my cousin and she lives in Florida but is moving back her with her mom and brother in July but she is young she is 16. Two of my BM are always busy and we have different schedules so we haven't done anything together. I almost feel like they don't want to be a part of it even though they say they want to be. We use to be inseparable ..they are still my best friends but we grew up. The last BM is impossible to get in touch with and she lives around the corner haha although I have to say we went to go look at dresses and she loves going to bridal showcases with me (no matter the weather-we went to the Watermill showcase in that snow storm).

Look foward to when your sister comes home. Spend time with mom and FH and do things with your mom for the mean time
BUT smile these are happy times

KathleenG Posted: Mar 04, 2004 10:03 AM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

Thanks ladies for all the support and well wishes!! Believe me I am definitely happy!! It just makes me nervous that looking at bm dresses is an ordeal for these girls!! I really don't expect a lot from them!! It just stresses me out!!

marymoon Posted: Mar 04, 2004 02:13 PM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

Kathleen - it's so common. I was MOH for my sister's wedding, and I had sucha hard time getting her girls together. We couldn;t get the dresses we wanted because we ende dup ordering too late and after we went through the mess of ordering a gown for a girl living in GERMANY, he mom called to tell us she dropped out. And I think it was all because she was angry that we ordered her a size 12 dress when she's a size 6, but we did it because the sizes ran that way. My size 6 cousin ordered a size 12 dress, and mine was a 24! Of course they were all too big, but issues with THAT bridal slaon are on another post...But anyway, EVERYONE goes through it. I think it's just hard to get people together and everyone has a different idea about what being a BM means. Don't feel alone. We're all here for you, and your bridesmaids will come around and it'll come together and be perfect.

endlessluv429 Posted: Mar 04, 2004 02:15 PM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

i'm sorry kathleen! hang in there! It'll all work out! vent to us @ anytime. it's better to tell us then to get into it with them and cause more probs!!

mariecam Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:07 PM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

I agree with Divabride. We are alone. I feel like I am so touchy and sensitive to everything that the bm's do or don't do. I worry that my shower will be a mess, the bachelorette when it comes will be lame, and that that day, they will be too caught up in being part of the 'show' instead of me getting married.

screw em.

They love you, I am sure, but something happens to some women when good things happen to their friends. It's sad, but we're probably all guilty of it and don't realize it.

this is a big part of our lives, not theirs.
Don't expect much-I don't. You'll be less likely to be disappointed.

anaissa Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:25 PM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

I've had some similar feelings, and all I can say is that when I was feeling my worst and the most alone my FH stepped in and took some of the responsibility off my shoulders. That really helped! Now he is dealing with his side of the family and I deal with mine. In addition he is dealing with favors, invitations, picking our songs, etc. I feel less alone because I realized that we are in this together. Plus being on this board helps a lot!

eogara Posted: Mar 04, 2004 10:11 PM

Re: Never thought I would be dealing with bridal party problems (VENT)

I'm not having 'problems' with my wedding party but I understand what you're saying about the feeling alone thing. That's seriously part of the reason I'm on here so often. You can vent and ask opinions and share opinions and it's with people going through the same thing at the same time.

Ok, now I feel like a big freaking cheeseball.