New York City Barbie Edition
This one is for all of us NYC Girls who felt left out when MJDOC12 posted the Long Island Barbie edition.
I am also going to preface this by stating exactly what she said: Please don't post about how you're offended - it makes fun of everyone, including me, as I live in Bay Ridge!!!
Enjoy!
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the New York market:
' Staten Island Barbie'
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Staten Island Mall. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey
and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
'Bay Ridge Barbie'
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
'Lower East Side Barbie'
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a
Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
'Upper West Side Barbie'
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also
available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
'Bensonhurst Barbie'
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit
and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available
as well as warehouse conversion condo.
' Sunset Park Barbie'
This brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Ken out of Bay Ridge
Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter-top.
'Park Slope Barbie'
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her
Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Park Slope Barbies
and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
' Red Hook Barbie'
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories
include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very
difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
'Greenwich Conneticut Barbie'
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always
out a-'huntin'.
' Greenwich Village Barbie/Ken'
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
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I am also going to preface this by stating exactly what she said: Please don't post about how you're offended - it makes fun of everyone, including me, as I live in Bay Ridge!!!
Enjoy!
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the New York market:
' Staten Island Barbie'
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Staten Island Mall. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey
and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
'Bay Ridge Barbie'
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
'Lower East Side Barbie'
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a
Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
'Upper West Side Barbie'
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also
available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
'Bensonhurst Barbie'
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit
and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available
as well as warehouse conversion condo.
' Sunset Park Barbie'
This brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Ken out of Bay Ridge
Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter-top.
'Park Slope Barbie'
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her
Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Park Slope Barbies
and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
' Red Hook Barbie'
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories
include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very
difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
'Greenwich Conneticut Barbie'
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always
out a-'huntin'.
' Greenwich Village Barbie/Ken'
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
