My friend got married last year and since both her and her DH are alcoholics they requested that there be no alcohol at thier reception. However, there was bar in lobby that was open for cocktail hour. But alcoholic drinks weren't allowed into the ballroom.
I kinda liked this idea, especially since my reception is in a church. However my family has problems with it. More so my FH who likes to drink at parties and such. I don't mind that much if my family drinks, but I don't want my FH drunk at our reception. I remember how upset my boss was when her DH got tipsy even before the ceremony.
I told my FH that if we do have alcohol at our reception, I don't want him to drink. He said I was being completely unfair. I don't understand how it's unfair to want him to remember every detail of our wedding day. Well, since I'm always trying to compromise I said he could drink at the champange toast and have a beer or two, but no hard liquor. He just mumbled something and walked away.
Am I being unfair by asking him not to drink?
Jen2999
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Re: No alcohol at reception!
I dont think it is unreasonable to ask him to not get out of hand at the reception but to ask him not to drink is a little controlling IMO. Limiting is a fair request.. denying is a little over the top to me.
bridy06
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honestly... lf he wants to have a few drinks on his wedding day, let him.
Thumballina
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I can understand you not wanting your FH to be drunk on your wedding day - but to tell him how much he can drink I don't think is fair IMO - it is his wedding day also - you guys are going to be so busy greeting your guests, taking pictures, talking to people - I don't think he'll have that much of an opportunity to drink so much that he would be that drunk -
kittythestray
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We are having no alcohol, either. I do not like to be around people when they are drinking. I don't think you're being unreasonable to ask him not to drink, but that's MY opinion, obviosuly it's HIS opinion that yo uare being unreasonable. I'd just try to approach him again at another time. I thought your compromise sounded good, and tell him when you go on your weekend in the Poconos, you'll take him out drinking one night
stephanief
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honest opinion? I think that is ridiculous. If you cannot trust him not to get wasted then that is not a good sign...sorry JMHO
sarahthegreat
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Posted by stephanief
honest opinion? I think that is ridiculous. If you cannot trust him not to get wasted then that is not a good sign...sorry JMHO
i have to agree here...if he has one or two, thats fine. but to tell him not to enjoy his own reception, is ridiculous. and its not like you are drinking nonstop that night anyway....
AlliNMatt06
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I am sorry, I think it is unreasonable to ask him to not drink. Just ask him not to go crazy! Having a few beers will do nothing. You are starting your marriage off on the wrong foot, with controlling his drinking. Lets be honest, men don't notice everything anyway, sober or not.
I don't like the idea of no alcohol at a reception. I am not a big drinker but both of are family's are. If our guests came to our wedding, and saw there was not alcohol served, they would not be happy. Lets just say they would remember our wedding always, but not in a good way.
AprilBride2006
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Well...Thank you for your honest opinons. I needed to hear it. I guess we'll have to talk about it again.
stephanief
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Posted by AprilBride2006
Well...Thank you for your honest opinons. I needed to hear it. I guess we'll have to talk about it again.
, whatever you decide, it should be a mutual decision, good luck
kittythestray
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Posted by AlliNMatt06
I don't like the idea of no alcohol at a reception. I am not a big drinker but both of are family's are. If our guests came to our wedding, and saw there was not alcohol served, they would not be happy. Lets just say they would remember our wedding always, but not in a good way.
I think you have to think of where the wedding is, and who's invited, though. For instance, some venues don't allow drinking (parks, church grounds). Some RELIGIONS don't allow drinking. I purposefully am having my wedding on a Sunday morning... I know it would be unfair to those invited if it were a Saturday night... Honestly, I am telling people before hand, also, so if they have a problem with it, they won't come.
AlliNMatt06
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Posted by kittythestray
Posted by AlliNMatt06
I don't like the idea of no alcohol at a reception. I am not a big drinker but both of are family's are. If our guests came to our wedding, and saw there was not alcohol served, they would not be happy. Lets just say they would remember our wedding always, but not in a good way.
I think you have to think of where the wedding is, and who's invited, though. For instance, some venues don't allow drinking (parks, church grounds). Some RELIGIONS don't allow drinking. I purposefully am having my wedding on a Sunday morning... I know it would be unfair to those invited if it were a Saturday night... Honestly, I am telling people before hand, also, so if they have a problem with it, they won't come.
I was just stating my opinion and how my guests would feel.
jada2destiny
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Posted by Jen2999
I dont think it is unreasonable to ask him to not get out of hand at the reception but to ask him not to drink is a little controlling IMO. Limiting is a fair request.. denying is a little over the top to me.
I agree
kittythestray
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Posted by AlliNMatt06
I was just stating my opinion and how my guests would feel.
I hope it didn't sound like I was attacking you!! It's just a REALLY, REALLY sensitive subject with me & I've had to 'defend' my wedding so many times about this
sr081906
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You need to be honest and talk to FH about your fear. It's a hard subject to approach. Apparently, alcohol is important to him. I have the feeling that maybe the problem is not just the reception but a deeper problem.
I used to be in a relation with someone who could not stop once he started. Great guy but man, I had to be careful that booze would not be around him. I even skipped on the company christmas party because I know it would be embarassing.
I am not implying this is your case, but I know some people don't know when to stop.
johnsae
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yes - i think it is unfair for you to ask him not to drink on the wedding day.l
AprilBride2006
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Posted by sr081906
You need to be honest and talk to FH about your fear. It's a hard subject to approach. Apparently, alcohol is important to him. I have the feeling that maybe the problem is not just the reception but a deeper problem.
I used to be in a relation with someone who could not stop once he started. Great guy but man, I had to be careful that booze would not be around him. I even skipped on the company christmas party because I know it would be embarassing.
I am not implying this is your case, but I know some people don't know when to stop.
I know what you're talking about being that I have a few friends who are alcoholics, but I really don't think he has a problem. I normally don't have a problem with his drinking, it's just I know how 1 shot can turn into 5 shots and 2 drinks can turn into 10 drinks real fast. I don't want that to happen at my reception.
