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No Flowergirl? Need Advice

CMaria81 Posted:

No Flowergirl? Need Advice

Hi Ladies,

Last weekend I had my surprise bridal shower. Out of all who RSVPed yes three didn't show. One was a friend who got called into work and her phone apparently died before she had the chance to call one of my bridesmaids. She did call me that night though and offered to take me out for lunch on Wednesday and give me the gift she bought. The other was my FG and her mom. She RSVPed yes and then didn't show and didn't call. Her sister in law (my cousin) informed me that FG and FG's mom and dad went away for the weekend. So basically they went away for the weekend and forgot they they RSVPed yes to my shower.

After a week went by and I heard nothing from FG's mom, I sent her an email to let her know about the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I told her a formal invitation was being sent but I just wanted to give her a heads up about the time and date. She writes back and doesn't say one word about not showing up to the shower, no excuse, no apology, nothing. In the reply email she says she can't make it to the rehearsal dinner or the rehearsal! She seems so unconcerned I'm worried if I will even have a FG for my wedding day! Should I find a replacement FG or should I just deal and have no FG if my FG doesn't show? Is it okay to have a ring bearer and no flower girl? Need advice!
Lemons Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

its your wedding so basically ANYthing you choose to do is ok...I would continue planning the wedding without the flowergirl b/c you dont need to constantly worry about whether or not they will show....cut the loss now and save yourself the headache later

SusiBtoM Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

You don't need a flower girl and you don't need a ring bearer.
It is just a nice touch to incorporate children in the ceremony.

You were nice.
After hearing that they would not be able to attend the rehersal or dinner, I probably would have gotten snippy and asked if they are able to attend the wedding.
The child needs to be familiar with what will happen on the day. Children do not like the unexpected.

Plan without the FG. If she shows, then good for her.
SuzArtie69 Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

I would ask her flat out if her daughter is going to be the flower girl. Didn't she get a dress already. I think it's rude of her to back out, but she needs to tell you if that's what she really wants to do.

You don't need to have a flower girl if you don't want one. Just think the RB will have the spot light on him instead.
PattyK Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

Posted by Lemons

its your wedding so basically ANYthing you choose to do is ok...I would continue planning the wedding without the flowergirl b/c you dont need to constantly worry about whether or not they will show....cut the loss now and save yourself the headache later


I agree!!!
robinandjoe Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

Would it be devastiating to the little girl, though? If she already is excited about being in the wedding, I would feel bad to make her sad! But, that being said, you will need her to rehearse, because kids need to be prepared. Could you ask the mom if she could send the FG just to the rehearsal with someone else (babysitter, grandma, etc.)? If not, would she be willing to meet you at the church another day when noone is there to do a little mini-rehearsal (i know, that;s more for you to do, too). If the child is under 3 I wouldn't worry about it, beause she probably didn't understand anyway. Good luck and do what you think feels right...you shouldn't have to be stressing about this!

rkl1130 Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

You don't need a FH or a RB--it's just nice to incorporate kids.

I would just ask her if her daughter will still be the FG. I think that's rude of her not to attend the rehearsal. Kids can get very worked up if they don't know what to do, which is why it's important for them to be there to see the place and be told beforehand what to expect and what is expected of them.
AllJoy Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

My FG who is DH's neice is 6. She didn't come to my shower (even though MOH planned it around her and Mom's schedule) cause she lives in Maryland. They also didn't come to our rehearsal. However, I did have another FG who was there. I would just let her be in it and not change things at this point. You don't need the added stress. I know it stinks when we want everyone to be excited for us and they aren't. Hang in there.

PegaLega Posted:

Re: No Flowergirl? Need Advice

Its up to you-if you want to replace her just in case that is your decision.

On another note, we only had an RB-and FG is not necessary unless that is what you want

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