FH and I have lived together for 4 years and although we do not have a house yet (just an apartment)-we feel it unnecessary to register. What we want to do is have everyone contribute to a fund for a deposit for a house. I found the basic info in a magazine-its by the national home owners association and they have an sort of bank account or 'registry' in which people can put their 'gift' of $$ to go towards a house. I think its a much more practical and useful gift.
We are just not sure yet how to ask/word it. And if I need to be sure not to have a shower b/c there will be no 'real' gifts there.
I would like a shower and don't feel the most important part is the gifts - but I am hearing otherwise and a few of my BMs are saying no shower if not registering. Is that stupid? I think so. But help me get around it- by offering advise, please -and maybe how to word this to my guests!
That is my dilemma! Please help
julybride444
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Re: No registry =OK for shower or no?
Could you register for your honeymoon? www.honeymoon.com has a nice registry, I'm using it. Or, how about a lingerie shower? Everyone could use more of that People will want to buy gifts, that doesn't mean you have to register though. You could allow people to get you whatever they want.
MelTodd604
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Re: No registry =OK for shower or no?
The only problem with no registry is that u might get the same gifts from other woman, and its anoying to return all that stuff! Something to think about....
CutieLipps
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Re: No registry =OK for shower or no?
I really do not think that it is appropriate to blatantly ask people fro cash gifts. That defeats the purpose of gift giving. You can have a shower without registering, but you can't expect people to put money in a fund for you. JMO
Jenn524
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Re: No registry =OK for shower or no?
IMO, if you're having a shower you going to get gifts to open, not money gifts. If you don't register you'll wind up getting doubles and wont be able to return them. Why don't you register at a place like Bed Bath and Beyond? If you return something that was bought off your registery they give you cash. Take that money and put it towards the house.
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: No registry =OK for shower or no?
JMO I would register for something even if isn't the traditional things - You could register for things you want but would not buy for yourself.
FH knows a few people who told them that they are not registering so that it forces people to give them money.
I asked some firends if they felt that this was true- they said they would take it that the couple is trying to force them to give money and that turns them off. Plus you are likely to get 20 orange or yellow blenders and you won't be able to return them.
I would go to somewhere like william and sonoma and register for some fun things - you can tell your friends by word of mouth that yoiu are trying to save for a house or other item - people who know you well will know your situation and will give you want you want. Others who are not comfortable giving money will give you a gift YOU WANT - and everyone will be happy (Hopefully) JMO
karen32
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Re: No registry =OK for shower or no?
if you don't register and have a shower, be prepared to return LOTS of things!!! i have lived on my own for 3+ yrs before FI moved in last november, so it was hard to find stuff to register for. we did some untraditional items, but also added sheets, towels (stuff you can never have enough of), plus some good china and crystal stuff.
ChristineC68
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Re: No registry =OK for shower or no?
I do not think a registry is necessary to have a shower and I think it's wrong of your BP to say they won't make a shower for you if you don't register.
People will give you gifts to open at a shower - with a registry you have a shot of getting things you like. Since you are planning to buy a home, you could register at home depot or other home improvement type places. Or register for upgrades/replacements of older appliances, towels, bedding, etc.
JMO, I feel suggesting people contribute to your new house fund as a shower gift is a little offensive. Especially since, nearly all of your wedding gifts are likely to be cash/checks.
