Not able to use ring for ceremony

rls32 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:15 PM

Not able to use ring for ceremony

Since my wedding band has diamonds in it, I cannot use it for the ceremony (In the Jewish religion you cannot get married with a ring with stones in it). Does anyone else have this problem and if so, what are you using for your ceremony (and where did you get it, how much did it cost, etc.)?

dkwife Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:16 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

well, my rabbi is reform and said she would do it but I am going to just use my grandmother's all gold band that she was married in and then return it after the ceremony. I hope that helps.

MrsK-in-June05 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:17 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

good old tin foil. the rabbi said we should not waste money on rings just for the ceremony and suggested tin foil.

JRG71 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:19 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

A lot of girls get 2 rings. One with diamonds and the other plain...

marymoon Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:24 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

I'm probbaly getting 2 rings, it's more practical anyway, so you don't have to wear the one with diamonds on the subway or whatever..

Also, using your grandmother's band doesn't really make it better. You're not using the diamond band b/c you want to go by the rules, but according jewish law it also nullifies the marriage if the ring does not become the brides property. it strictly cannot be borrowed! So other than sentimental value, you're not accomplishing anything by using your grandmas ring!

MrsK-in-June05 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:31 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

Posted by marymoon

I'm probbaly getting 2 rings, it's more practical anyway, so you don;t have to wear trhe one with diamonds on the subway or whatever..

Also, using your grandmother's band idoens;t really make it better. You're not suing the diamond band b/c you want to go by the rules, but according jewish law it also nullifies the marriage if the ring does not become the brides property. it striclty cannot be borrowed! So other than sentimental value, you're not accompishing anything by using your grandmas ring!

eek, is that conservative or orthodox? my rabbi said tin foil will be fine.

marymoon Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:32 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

That's the orthodox perspective. it also has to be worth at least six silver pieces or something.

Everyone has a different level of observance, if your rabbi says it's ok, then it's ok! Unless, you really feel the need to be orthodox about it.

dublreedr Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:32 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

Since both my FI and my dad have passed away, we decided to use their wedding bands to get married in. After thre ceremony we will change to our diamond bands.

danigirl0 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:33 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

i used my great grandlothers ring for the ceremony. my mother has kept it, so i just used it for the ceremony

becks23 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:33 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

Our rabbi told us it has to be a pure circle (no diamonds or anything in it) and it has to be of value...meaning you had to pay something for it (so I don't think borrowing a ring counts). We are probably buying plain silver rings at a flea market for a few dollars....

PrincessRose Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:34 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

I got myself a 14K White gold band from QVC for about $30. This way I have a backup ring that I can wear to the beach and not worry about losing.

dkwife Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:35 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

Posted by danigirl0

i used my great grandlothers ring for the ceremony. my mother has kept it, so i just used it for the ceremony

Well, according to marymoon that nullifies the marriage!!

MrsK-in-June05 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:36 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

Posted by marymoon

That's the orthodox perspective. it also has to be worth at least six silver pieces or something.

Everyone has a different level of observance, if your rabbi says it's ok, then it's ok! Unless, you really feel the need to be orthodox about it.

My dad and grandma were orthodox enough for all of us...so I will keep with my reformed ways, lol.

nsgraham Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:37 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

I got two, but the plain one means so much more to me that I'm selling the second one. It's too bling - I don't ever wear it!

Chloegirl Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:50 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

I got married in both my diamond eternity band and my husbands great grandmothers wedding band. DH put both on me. We had a cantor marry us and he wanted me to be married in what I will wear forever.

So my wedding band is very sentimental to me and I love the looks of it too!!

Butterflybride Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:51 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

Posted by MrsKinMay05

good old tin foil. the rabbi said we should not waste money on rings just for the ceremony and suggested tin foil.

lol, that's actually a great idea! Why waste the money. You'd probably be the only ones that notice it anyway

james'pokey Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:51 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

My best friend used her grandmas ring as well.

sammi102 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:51 PM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

I have the same issue. I'm using my grandmother's ring from when she wore it. If I didn't have her ring, I would just buy a sterling silver ring.

mushsgrl Posted: Jul 20, 2004 07:57 AM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

I am using my grandmothers ring as my something borrowed and my father said FH can use his(how weird), but we are having the cantor bless our rings.

alexlynn7 Posted: Jul 20, 2004 09:41 AM

Re: Not able to use ring for ceremony

omg. i didn't know about the jewish ring rule. this interfaith thing is killing me. we have the rules, traditions, and customs of TWO religions to think about, and fh is no help on the jewish side of things!