( Ranting) I am really starting to regret asking her :( She is one of my good friends but she is always to busy to do anything wedding related.. she can never get a babysitter or her kids are sick or se missed work because her kids were sick and now she has to make up hours !! URGHH we all have kids we all find time why cant you! Our sons are best friends so I tell her she can bring them and she still doesn't have time :( BOO YOU
It's still a year and a half to your wedding day though, have you had a lot of wedding-related stuff that you've needed her for already? I can definitely understand if you want her opinion when you're dress shopping, but if she's really having trouble getting a sitter, maybe just ask her to come when it's down to the final decision. Or just involve your MOH with the smaller decisions for now.
If she continues to make excuses though, I would straight up ask her if she's able to commit to being in the wedding. A bride shouldn't expect her girls to be at her beck and call until the day of the wedding, but bridesmaids DO still have some responsibilities, so if she can't commit to absolutely anything except for the actual wedding, then I would reconsider having her.
Diorprincess
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Re: not so enthused bridesmaid?
at least I'm not alone lol. I have friends like that who don't even have kids! and don't even have jobs! I'm like what are you so busy doing? sleeping?
I have one girl (one with no job) who right after my moh/bff got engaged (us 3 grew up together) she's been weird. like she ignores probably 95% of my texts about wedding stuff. she's always too busy to do anything or hang out (read above! like busy with what?) I understand if she's upset she's not even close to getting married like me and my moh are but don't be weird and ignore me. half the time I feel bad when I didn't even do anything wrong.
I remember even asking her to go with me to meet cheeky glam months ago and she was like but I wanna hang out with blah blah blah some guy. I was like you can't just tell him you'll see him later? I mean it was important. then she started naming every other girl in my bp I could take with me instead of her, thankfully one of my girls who had actually just gotten out of the hospital said she'd come.
so yeah she def doesn't seem happy. but like what do you do? can you just demote a person? lol. it's actually come up with my girls because they feel she's done nothing. I gave all my girls options to say no before I asked them to be in bp (1 actually did who has a baby and has no $$$)
MrsDtoBe
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Re: not so enthused bridesmaid?
I don't personally have that problem, but a friend of mine is having that issue with her MOH. I feel so terrible for her...we've all gotten together three times so far and she hasn't come to anything. She always came up with a reason as to why she couldn't come, but would post pictures on facebook of her doing something COMPLETELY different.
All of the girls in the wedding came to my friend's engagement party early to help her set up and make sure everything was ok and not only did she not come early, but she showed up a half hour late with a guest that she wasn't invited with.
I would tell her you understand she has a lot going on, but you need the people you can count on and if she is having second thoughts about it, you would prefer she just attend as a guest. If she apologizes and says she wants to be there for you, you can give her another shot and if not, you didn't want her there anyway. The longer it goes on with her being unreliable the more you're going to dislike her and stress out about it. That's just my opinion...GOOD LUCK!!
half the time I feel bad when I didn't even do anything wrong.
That's NOT right. You should definitely talk to her about her behavior. You can do it without seeming like a bridezilla. You can just say something like, 'We've known each other for a really long time and it would mean a lot to me if you could stand with me on my big day, but it feels to me like you're maybe not comfortable being part of it. If that's the case, I'd really rather you attend as a guest if that makes you more comfortable.' If she's a good friend, she'll realize how her behavior is affecting you. It's an awkward conversation to have, especially when you feel like the other person doesn't care, but if they don't, then why would you want to be dealing with them in your BP anyway, right?
RoandJoe
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not so enthused bridesmaid?
I had one bm decline being in my party for the simple reason of not liking to get dressed and that she feels awkward. I respect her being so honest but it broke my heart that I asked all of my cousins and she refused. Another one of my bm's lives in Arizona and is temporarily moving out of the country for her boyfriends job..I'm getting so nervous :(
teacher88
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not so enthused bridesmaid?
that is ridiculous!!! we haven't asked our friends/ family yet about being in our bridal party for the simple fact we were in a wedding recently with 14 people on each side and it was out of control with people being ridiculous!! we really really want our close friends but we don't want this kind of drama and i feel terrible some of you are going through this!!!!
how old is her son? maybe she doesn't want to bring him out? not too sure that is like the only reason i could think of why she is declining to go places?? who knows!!! in my opinion i would flat out ask her if she wants to be in your wedding!!!
Diorprincess
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Re: not so enthused bridesmaid?
Posted by Lori0413
Posted by Diorprincess
half the time I feel bad when I didn't even do anything wrong.
That's NOT right. You should definitely talk to her about her behavior. You can do it without seeming like a bridezilla. You can just say something like, 'We've known each other for a really long time and it would mean a lot to me if you could stand with me on my big day, but it feels to me like you're maybe not comfortable being part of it. If that's the case, I'd really rather you attend as a guest if that makes you more comfortable.' If she's a good friend, she'll realize how her behavior is affecting you. It's an awkward conversation to have, especially when you feel like the other person doesn't care, but if they don't, then why would you want to be dealing with them in your BP anyway, right?
I've asked her about it and she admits to feeling jealous/left out. that she wants what we have and she's upset she's almost a year older then us and doesn't even have a bf. I mean she's always been jealous sometimes of us because we always got the guys in her eyes. and to her I guess it's hard to hear about me being so happy and doing all this stuff she really wants. I mean most of our hs class is married now or on the way there. I imagine it's hard when you are all alone.
at the same time it's like if she wants a guy instead of being jealous she should focus on herself instead of acting like this. I didn't magically get a fiance lol. I dated losers for years. I went through tons of nonsense lol. it's like she just wants to skip dating and get a guy instantly in love with her, and be insanely close to him instantly. without having to do anything and can just sit around watching tv together.
Alyssa M
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not so enthused bridesmaid?
What a bummer, I have a bridesmaid who doesn't seem to care either. I think she's jealous since her bf hasn't proposed yet. Why can't girls just be happy for each other??
I would ask your friend if she honestly feels like she can make the commitment and explain nicely that you would just rather know now while there is still time to find a replacement.
ariellewhitney
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not so enthused bridesmaid?
Her sons are five and three my son is five and my daughter is nine months I bring them with me I told her she could to I mean we have met at my house a few times to look at dresses and venues online then went dress shopping three times and she only came to one of them :(
ariellewhitney
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not so enthused bridesmaid?
Her sons are five and three my son is five and my daughter is nine months I bring them with me I told her she could to I mean we have met at my house a few times to look at dresses and venues online then went dress shopping three times and she only came to one of them :(
LadyReeRee
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not so enthused bridesmaid?
Maybe she doesn't want to be in the wedding?
Soon2BeMrsPy
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not so enthused bridesmaid?
Ugh. What a shame. They do say that you learn the most about a person during times of weddings & funerals. It is so sad that people just can't be happy for one another BUT at the end of the day it is about you and your fiancé. If she wants to be bitter and not be involved thats on her and she will ultimately regret it one day and that isn't on your conscience but hers.
I am basically doing my entire wedding alone. I have my sister but she has 2 kids so sometimes its hard. My mother lives in FL, my other bridesmaid is planning her own wedding & my other bridesmaid lives in North Carolina. It is tough but you know what? I would rather no BS and enjoy this process with my Fiancé & I.
