Not sure how I feel about this

julz33 Posted: Sep 19, 2004 12:20 AM

Not sure how I feel about this

I have a friend since 6th grade that came out as bisexual 2 years ago. For the past 2 years she has had a serious girlfriend. I, along with our whole group of friends, are perfectly fine with everything and her GF has become one of our friends too. They are coming together to my wedding. The joke among our friends is if 'Our Friend' catches the bouquet at the wedding then her GF will have to try and catch the garter... It is only my friends joking around but it really got me thinking about how I would feel if this really happened. On one hand I would not want her to participate in the garter toss because my older relatives will be shocked and this will be a HUGE spectacle. On the other hand I accept my friend and her GF and think they should have the same rights as everybody else. But I also don't want my wedding to be remembered and talked about because of this, which will probably happen because of my old-fashioned family.
What do you all think?

February05 Posted: Sep 19, 2004 12:25 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

rush to do it while one of them is in the bathroom!!!

not to make light of it... on a more serious note... maybe make sure the MC annonces for the MEN to come onto the floor for the garter? that would be inappropriate of teh GF to then go on... OR maybe do the garter first? (b/c then i dont think that one of them would think to go up and try to catch the garter)... but i dont know if you want to switch it around... b/c the bouquet is usually tossed first? i'm not sure if that makes a difference?

i hope they realize, though, that its YOUR day,,, not a time for them to proclaim their relationship to your and FH's older relatives.

beachgirl13 Posted: Sep 19, 2004 01:16 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

hmmm... I'm thinking the GF isn't going to want to try and catch the garter. I mean, all guys will be on the floor trying to catch it, I couldn't see her going up there trying to catch it with all the guys.

LovelyL Posted: Sep 19, 2004 01:56 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

I really doubt the girlfriend is going to try to catch it. Unless she is a total extravert, she is probably going to feel kind of weird doing that at someone's wedding.

suven Posted: Sep 19, 2004 01:56 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

I didn't do a garter toss...

We only did the bouquet toss. Problem solved...

Janice Posted: Sep 19, 2004 08:47 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

I did not do a garter toss either, I caught the bouquet once, and DH(boyfriend at time) did not catch garter, at first I was so happy I caught it until they sat me in a chair and had some creepy cousin get down on his knees wanting to go up my leg, i only let him go to the knee and thought to myself that this is BS. lol. I don't think your friend should participate in any kind of garter situatuion. that was my first and last bouquet toss. If they want to catch flowers that is fine, but imo, they have no right to garter. My sister(MOH) is gay, she would have never made such a scene(and really that is what it would be) and it would be in your album.

checka Posted: Sep 19, 2004 09:04 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Posted by LovelyL

I really doubt the girlfriend is going to try to catch it. Unless she is a total extravert, she is probably going to feel kind of weird doing that at someone's wedding.

This is what I was thinking. Is she really outgoing to the point that she would do something like this?

christy Posted: Sep 19, 2004 09:14 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Ok, this happened at our wedding. One of my good friends who is gay caught my bouquet. I did not throw the garter though. It was no big deal. Infact, they were the next to get married. (Sort of, at New Paltz this past spring).

TracyInQueens Posted: Sep 19, 2004 09:41 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Maybe, when you throw the boquet, you can make sure that you throw it nowhere near them?

Though, I agree with the others that maybe they'll stay out of the garter toss.

Valentinegirl Posted: Sep 19, 2004 09:49 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

I only did the bouquet toss but it was caught for 'Good luck' only. We didn't do the garter toss.

Jenn524 Posted: Sep 19, 2004 09:50 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

I think have the MC announce all the men to come to the floor and I'd be surprised if the GF comes with them. Or just cut out the garter toss.

WeddingsRock Posted: Sep 19, 2004 10:53 AM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

One of my really good friends who is gay got up to catch the Boo-K and my husband's family (cousins from down South) caused such a problem, that we wound up not doing it at all. I was really angry because my friend is openly gay and very good friends with all of MY family who were there. UGH>>such problems

AFB10304 Posted: Sep 19, 2004 12:52 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Posted by beachgirl13

hmmm... I'm thinking the GF isn't going to want to try and catch the garter. I mean, all guys will be on the floor trying to catch it, I couldn't see her going up there trying to catch it with all the guys.

i agree

DebMaher Posted: Sep 19, 2004 12:56 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Sounds to me like more of a joke thing and that when the DJ annoucnes men come out for garter toss, that that should not be aproblem. I would not worry about it. Chances are, even if she caught it, relatives would laugh and not totally 'get' it.

2003fallwedding Posted: Sep 19, 2004 01:02 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

If your friend doesn't catch the boquet, her GF will want to try to catch the garter...who knows, maybe your friend will not even try to catch the boquet.

I am sure it will work it self out.

julz33 Posted: Sep 19, 2004 01:47 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Yeah, like I said I am pretty sure everyone was joking around, but I started thinking about the 'what if'

prncssrachel Posted: Sep 19, 2004 02:16 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Well, why wouldn't they both be trying to catch the bo-k? I would think they would both be up there for the bo-k since it's a girl thing. Right?

ETA: just wanted to add that JT's bestman is gay and he would NEVER go up to catch the bo-k, only the garter, for the same reasons, the garter is for the guys and the bo-k for the girls, regardless of their sexual preference. That being said, we're not doing either thing, but just because we don't want to.

julz33 Posted: Sep 19, 2004 02:22 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Posted by 121502

Well, why wouldn't they both be trying to catch the bo-k? I would think they would both be up there for the bo-k since it's a girl thing. Right?

The 'joke' was that she would try to catch the garter ONLY IF my friend caught the bouquet.

prncssrachel Posted: Sep 19, 2004 02:25 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

Posted by julz33

Posted by 121502

Well, why wouldn't they both be trying to catch the bo-k? I would think they would both be up there for the bo-k since it's a girl thing. Right?

The 'joke' was that she would try to catch the garter ONLY IF my friend caught the bouquet.

Oh, duh, sorry. In that case, do what I have seen a few girls have done....when you're about to throw it, turn around and toss it to your preference of girls. Is there anyone you know of that will be at the wedding that you think is close to getting engaged? That would work perfectly. If not, appoint a cousin, sister, friend, etc, to knock your friend out of the way. I still think you'll be ok. I don't think she would go up to get the garter even if her GF caught the bo-k. I'm sure this girl has some tact. Of all the things to have to worry about!

RedHead Posted: Sep 19, 2004 02:37 PM

Re: Not sure how I feel about this

If either of them a rea friends then i would just be open and honest about it with them or one of them. I personally wouldn't like it if a girl went up for the garter toss and would tell my friend that it make me uncomfortable...I am sure it would be fine!