note wording...a tad long, but i could really use a proofread =)

Pending the contract coming in..our hotel is pretty much decided upon. We have a back building with 24 rooms for FH & I, our parents, my brothers, and our BP. There's 7 remaining rooms, and we want to invite certain guests (grandparents, close aunts/uncles to come stay in those rooms.) I decided to send a little note via regular mail...what do we think of the wording:


Dear ______,

We have booked a block of rooms at the main building of the (name of hotel) in (city, state) for our wedding. However, we have also blocked a private building on the property, the Annex, where we will both be staying.

We would love for you to join us in the Annex. There are a very small number of rooms available in that building, and we will be opening up the block to all of our guests shortly. Therefore, we ask that you please feel free to call immediately.

Please mention the (my last name)/(his last name) wedding in order to receive the rate of $65 + tax per night. Rooms have been blocked for both the nights of Friday, November 12th, 2010, and Saturday, November 13th, 2010. Also, please mention that you would like to be in the Annex Building.

(Hotel Name)
(Phone Number)

Love,
Jen & Eric

I would change the line that says 'Therefore, we ask that you please feel free to call immediately.'

to:

'Please call to reserve your room at your earliest convenience to ensure you get a room at the stated price'

(something like that at least)

Otherwise, all's good

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

I would change the line that says 'Therefore, we ask that you please feel free to call immediately.'

to:

'Please call to reserve your room at your earliest convenience to ensure you get a room at the stated price'

(something like that at least)

Otherwise, all's good

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good idea

i think it sounds good but i would change these:

Dear ______,

We have booked a block of rooms at the main building of the (name of hotel) in (city, state) for our wedding. However, we have also blocked a private building on the property, the Annex, where we will both be staying.

We would love for you to join us in the Annex. There are a very small number of rooms available in that building, and we will be opening up the block to all of our guests shortly. SHOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN STAYING IN THE ANNEX, WE ASK THAT YOU PLEASE CALL TO RESERVE YOUR ROOM AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE TO ENSURE AVAILABILITY.

Please mention the (my last name)/(his last name) wedding in order to receive the rate of $65 + tax per night. Rooms have been blocked for the night of Friday, November 12th, 2010, AS WELL AS THE NIGHT OF Saturday, November 13th, 2010. WHEN MAKING YOUR RESERVATION, PLEASE BE SURE TO mention that you would like to be in the Annex Building.

(Hotel Name)
(Phone Number)

Love,
Jen & Eric

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Posted by brittndave

i think it sounds good but i would change these:

Dear ______,

We have booked a block of rooms at the main building of the (name of hotel) in (city, state) for our wedding. However, we have also blocked a private building on the property, the Annex, where we will both be staying.

We would love for you to join us in the Annex. There are a very small number of rooms available in that building, and we will be opening up the block to all of our guests shortly. SHOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN STAYING IN THE ANNEX, WE ASK THAT YOU PLEASE CALL TO RESERVE YOUR ROOM AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE TO ENSURE AVAILABILITY.

Please mention the (my last name)/(his last name) wedding in order to receive the rate of $65 + tax per night. Rooms have been blocked for the night of Friday, November 12th, 2010, AS WELL AS THE NIGHT OF Saturday, November 13th, 2010. WHEN MAKING YOUR RESERVATION, PLEASE BE SURE TO mention that you would like to be in the Annex Building.

(Hotel Name)
(Phone Number)

Love,
Jen & Eric

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Yeah, that works too

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Posted by brittndave

i think it sounds good but i would change these:

Dear ______,

We have booked a block of rooms at the main building of the (name of hotel) in (city, state) for our wedding. However, we have also blocked a private building on the property, the Annex, where we will both be staying.

We would love for you to join us in the Annex. There are a very small number of rooms available in that building, and we will be opening up the block to all of our guests shortly. SHOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN STAYING IN THE ANNEX, WE ASK THAT YOU PLEASE CALL TO RESERVE YOUR ROOM AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE TO ENSURE AVAILABILITY.

Please mention the (my last name)/(his last name) wedding in order to receive the rate of $65 + tax per night. Rooms have been blocked for the night of Friday, November 12th, 2010, AS WELL AS THE NIGHT OF Saturday, November 13th, 2010. WHEN MAKING YOUR RESERVATION, PLEASE BE SURE TO mention that you would like to be in the Annex Building.

(Hotel Name)
(Phone Number)

Love,
Jen & Eric

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i agree with these changes