I've been trying to corral the girls since some wanted to go try on the dress, which is obviously fair enough, although difficult to get 7 girls plus parents for the young ones in the same place at the same time. So I sent out an email beginning of December asking for the girls to get measured, and everyone but my problem BM responded with their sizes.
So last week I sent email part 2, saying that in 2 weeks we'd be going to try on the dress, and if anyone couldn't make it, please let me know and we would go separately another time, but to also confirm receipt of the email either way because I 'wasn't sure if my last one went through'. I figured this was a subtle way of acknowledging that she blew it off.
So now a week has passed, and she STILL has not gotten in touch with me, when every other girl did. It's not like she's not online all the time, and I know she checks her email. So a full month has elapsed between emails, and even if the first one didn't go through, what are the odds that both didn't?
So I was telling my mom this how I was starting to get really ticked, and that I was going to call her to find out what her deal is. And that's when my mom told me that she hasn't just been ignoring me...
SHE'S BEEN IGNORING MY MOTHER TOO!!!!!
Apparently my mom tried to get in touch with all the girls to start sharing her shower plans and ask them for input and what they'd like to do, and once again, all of the girls got back to her EXCEPT HER.
So now I am really, really angry. Whatever with me, I know that she's like this, not that it's an excuse for her behavior, but she's been like this for years. But I will not tolerate her being disrespectful to my mother on top of it.
Gracie821
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
I would be really annoyed too! Why are people sooo rude!
KPetekie
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Go with out her and order all of the other girls dresses. Let her find out through the grapevine that you didn't let her stop your plans. She'll either get her *** in gear then... or she won't and then atleast you didn't let her stop you from planning your wedding. If she's like this, why do you want her to be a bm? Is there more to this story that others know but not me? I saw you mention something else about this previously but I don't know too much about what this girls deal is.
MrsList09
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Maybe you should email her and lay it all out. Tell her that she doesn't seem into it and if she wants out, now is the time to speak up. TEll her she'll have to start being more cooperative.
gina409
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
i still say put ur foot down u gotta be tough cause sometimes when people see aloophole of how to walk all over someone they take advantage..u do not need the added stress and why would u want someone like that in ur bp?call her up and get nasty..after all this time u have the complete right to be a *****..jmo
MrsKtoBe
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
If it were me (and maybe i'm overreacting) I would just say that its pretty clear from her behavior that this whole bridal party thing is just too much with her busy schedule, so obviously you want her to be there on the big day, but you wont trouble her with being in the bridal party.
Its one thing for her to be a **** to you, but to your mom? i would be so mad!
missjones2007
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
This is my advice.....im sure she is getting your emails...so dont sweat her....go on without her because if she acting like this now...lord knows what she will be like later on
Caramelatta
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Hmmm that sounds really rude of her!!!! I detest people like this but in the case of sanity....maybe she changed her email address and didn't make it aware to you.... but if she is honestly being really evil then i would say go on with out her cause these girls just need to get DROPPED!!!
debzy
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
I'd be really annoyed, too. Maybe she just thinks it's still so far away??? Just playing devil's advocate...
coldasice217
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Well, to answer all points LOL:
!. Yeah, there have been other issues with her. I severely debated asking her to be in the party because of really rude things that she's said about the wedding and since I've been engaged. Whenever I mentioned anything to her, she always had a really negative comment, like she didn't want to hear it. When I did ask her, I did so with the caveat that I didn't want her to if she didn't feel comfortable, given that she hates weddings so much, so I was actually shocked that she so eagerly accepted it.
2. She hasn't changed her email address, because I asked her for it and that's what she gave me.
3. She does think it's still too far away...she went through this whole speech about how she's not really excited for the wedding because 'we're here (holding out one arm)....and your wedding is THERE (holding out the other arm), so maybe once we get HERE (bringing arms halfway in) I'll be excited. But regardless of that fact, it's not for her to dictate what's too early or not to be doing things. Not when she's being disrespectful of 6 other peoples time, and now my mothers.
So I'm just really annoyed right now. I know if I call her, she'll play nice and cooperate for this, but it's going to be pulling teeth again the next time I have something that I need her for. It was probably a mistake to ask her, but I don't know if I could actually kick her out. She's really making me feel like I may have to.
MrsKtoBe
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Im sorry this girl is giving u such a headache im glad you are going to stand up for yourself, whether its kicking her butt or kicking her out.
KPetekie
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Call her and speak to her about it. Explain to her that it might seem like the wedding is so far away but that so much goes into the planning on your end that you really need to stick to a timeline. A lot of my bms didn't seem to get this either but they've never planned a wedding. Tell her that if she's not the type of person who is into weddings, you don't expect her to be super excited about doing all these things but regardless, they need to be done and you need her to be on board. Why is this girl such a psycho?
mlcvln129
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Is she single? I went through a period where I was REALLY resentful of my friends who were getting married and acted really non-chalant about being in the wedding. However, I never ignored e-mails or anything like that. I think this girl just needs to be given an ultimatum: shape up or ship out!
kellylee418
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Oh no, I have 1 pain in the *** bridesmaid too. Go on without her... And that is so rude of her to say that she is not excited for your wedding because its still far away. Well you know what, she needs to not be so bitter and be happy she is a part of your big day. Erghhh, some people!!!
coldasice217
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Now that FH has ticked me off, my blood just boiled enough to call and leave her a voicemail. To my credit I was very polite and acted like nothing was wrong, didn't even say a word about the email or dresses, just said wanted to see what was going on and call me back talk to you soon.
So now if she doesn't call or something back...I don't know. Short of showing up at her doorstep, what else can be done if she won't respond to any form of communication?
ttdiff11
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
wow im really sorry!!! u def need to say something! thats ridiculous!
BeLissa
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
sounds like you have a bitter and jealous BM on your hands. those are always fun
honestly, you dont need someone like that standing by your side in your marriage. Confront her about her attitude and tell her how you feel - she's being a p*ss poor supporter and you dont need the negative energy.
VeggieBride
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
id leave her an email saying 'peace the f*ck OUUUUT'
NikkiR515
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Hopefully she will respond to your voicemail so you guys can work out a time for her to try on the dresses. If she is good about responding to you call I would casually say 'oh did you get my emails' and leave it at that..If she does not call you back however, I would probably flip out on her! I am not saying this is the best way to approach the situation but I have a very short temper!
Sweeteey51
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Re: Now I'm getting angry
Kick her out of the wedding, why put extra stress on yourself? I put it like this i shouldnt have to beg, stalk and track your every movements, if you want to be in the wedding then youll be cooperative if not then you wont ill live either way and thats how you need to approach it cuz shes an Unnecessary problem.
