NWR:

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Posted by Jesses Girl

do you ever get the feeling when you are typing on the boards that people are playing to their favorites by who comments your questions, albums, etc.? Do you ever feel that brides are jealous of you or what you have and in turn make you feel that you are not welcome here?

i dont know. i was talking with my girls last nite (some of who are on this website) and i often feel that there is this bit of jealousy that some brides feel towards other brides.

i know i am happy with what i have and what i am doing, as they are.

but we felt that some people(and I shall never name names) on here are trying to 'prove' something to everyone and ultimately... we are all just here bc we are marrying our wonderful FHs and need help planning.


I am just throwing this out there to see if ANYONE feels the way that my friends and I often feel. I mean I have been a part of the 08 board since June 06. And I love the advice but the petty girl crap is so diheartening that i want to just give up on LIW.

and really im not trying to make anyone angry. i am just wondering if any of you girls feel this way.

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OMG I agree with you. I was thinking that the other day. I've posted things and no one answers me(sometimes, other times I get a lot of answers) I know I'm not on alot, but when i am I try to be fair and post to as many as I can. Especially if they need help

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Posted by jenn122397

Diane,
I totally understand your point....
i do feel like that sometimes too - i have not been posting on here as often as i used to because i feel that people would rather reply to a post about their pets or personal hygiene or some BS topic than answer a question that i really do have....i mean i do post topics that are NWR too but it bugs me when i put up a question that i seriusoly need some help on and i get maybe 1 reply but other silly threads get like 100+ responses (much of which are repeated) i kind of makes me wonder what the point of this site is and that is why i have been avoiding it lately

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OMG, I could have written that post, that is exactly how I feel. It gets so silly when a thread goes on and on about nothing and everyone just saying the same thing.
(I'm probably doing the same, since I didn't read the whole thread). I rather FM my question to a specific bride if I made a search and didn't come up with the information I was looking for.

Awwwwwwwww, Diane!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry you feel that way! I heart you.

Everyone here brings something different to the table. Different ages, races, backgrounds, upbringings, personalities, family life, etc. Along with that comes the fact that you aren't going to get along with everyone. But that's ok. It doesn't mean that anyone is any less 'welcome' on a public site. Come one, come all, right?

So don't go anywhere Diane. I'll track yo' azz down.

I agree that sometimes when a thread has a lot of activity it's hard to keep up, and some people get into side dialogues that if you're not involved in, you don't feel like putting your two cents in.
If it's a WR topic, and I have no clue how to answer, I usually just move on.
I don't know a single person on here personally, never been to a GTG (live in Bklyn, a logistical issue!), and I did feel in the beginning that it would be difficult to get to know people on here that have been a member for months/years... but the more I force myself to post (when my instinct is just to read), the easier it gets, and I try to be supportive of everyone I can... and also not take anything personally.

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Posted by Jesaroo2

Oh I def feel like this ALOT!

this site def has little cliques...but whatever it doesnt matter ..

I do feel like somtimes that in a post I will write a comment to the orignal poster...and they will comment back to everyone except me...if that makes sense

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I definitely see the cliques too! And its obvious within threads who's in a clique or not, atleast to me. And if I am feeling a thread being cliquey, i'm more hesitant to post there because i feel like an intruder. You are not the only one who feels like that, trust me. I think you are a super sweet person, and I wouldnt take it personally. We love having you on this site. If you ever need to talk so some one who doesnt belong in a clique, you can FM me

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Posted by Jesaroo2

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by Jesses Girl

what im saying is sometimes, i dunno whether people are jealous or not but they make me feel like im not welcome...(and my real friends who are on here feel it too sometimes)

and matilde, i do care how my real friends feel too (obviously) but when you want advice from other people and you dont get as many answers as you would hope (sometimes no answers)...but people post things that can be irrelevant and they get ridiculous amount of answers back...it seems like its a popularity contest instead of a board for advice.

im glad that you guys are seeing my point.

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i agree...whenever i post something i always notice the same people respond every time and most of the time i get not many responses at all..and the botw thing makes me feel even worse..does that bother anyone?

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why does the BOTW bother you??

That I think is pretty fair...

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I've seen times here and there where its been passed to a 'friend' and you have to question it, But i do think that all the BOTWs truely deserved it.

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Posted by DLM107

I am new on this site and I sometimes feel the same way. It's very hard to join in b/c I see so many of you have been members for a while. I love how you all became friends. I try to get involved and add comments and I don't get any comments back. I then started a new topic to help me get to 100 and nobody helped but a bunch of people viewed it. I started to take it personally but, then I had to keep in mind maybe everyone is busy with something else. I am so outgoing and can talk to anyone or anything. Yet, I am having such a hard time on this site getting involved. I am all of a sudden shy. I have never been shy in my life. It's so funny b/c I am known for being the talkative one. I would love to be more involved. I hope I never offend anybody and if I do please let me know b/c sometimes it is hard to get your point across in an e-mail than in person. Hope to become friends with all of you. -Donna

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Welcome to the boards!!! I've noticed its been slower than normal, and i think that has to do with the end of the school year and everyone being busy! Dont worry, once school is over there will be a lot more activity on the boards, atleast on my part!

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by Jesaroo2

Oh I def feel like this ALOT!

this site def has little cliques...but whatever it doesnt matter ..

I do feel like somtimes that in a post I will write a comment to the orignal poster...and they will comment back to everyone except me...if that makes sense

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I definitely see the cliques too! And its obvious within threads who's in a clique or not, atleast to me. And if I am feeling a thread being cliquey, i'm more hesitant to post there because i feel like an intruder. You are not the only one who feels like that, trust me. I think you are a super sweet person, and I wouldnt take it personally. We love having you on this site. If you ever need to talk so some one who doesnt belong in a clique, you can FM me

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i have felt that way sometimes too!! i used to refrain from posting if i felt that it was a conversation between people that know each other, but now i usually just post on everything, even when i don't feel that people respond to me, i just put my two cents in everywhere and just hope it is appreciated. if not, then people just think i'm a nosy biotch lol...but that's ok i know i'm only trying to help!!

i was a little upset by this post when i first saw it yesterday, b/c i thought to myself 'i hope no one thinks badly of ME?!' but after reading through the posts and realizing that i have felt the same way about things, i realized that everyone is just getting out their feelings and it's ok. i feel better even now that i've written out this post, and i hope everyone who posted their feelings feels better too.

I can feel your uneasiness...

I used to not reply when I saw a controversial topic..or a cliquey one......and now I do...b/c Im not discouraged....

Cuz Im not on here to impress anyone., make lifelong friends..or 'make believe' I agree or disagree with something that I don't.

I think an important thing the realize is that this site is what is....it is there for us to get what we want out of it.

In life you will always have people who will try and knock you down and be jealous of things you do.

To me, these are the people I feel bad for. If you know yourself and are happy with what you are doing then you are a strong person.

It is usually those who make comments who are projecting on others.

Personally I am new to this site still but I think this is a valid observation.

sorry, to sound so psychological!

Ok, I have to chime in. I'm sorry.

But I don't really understand the whole clique thing. I've been on here for almost a year...and I've met some people who I really consider close friends now because they too have been on here for a year. So, why is it so terrible if I talk to them frequently? Whether its through a thread or through FM? Yes, the board is all about planning weddings, but its also about meeting new people and making friendships.

Just because people talk to each other more frequently than others doesn't mean that they don't LIKE other people or don't TALK to other people! It just means that they have more in common with someone else. In the real world not everyone is best-friends-forever. With all of the different personalities on here there are bound to be clashes and also good friendships that are formed. I look at the 2007 boards and it makes me THRILLED to see so many LIW brides that are inviting other LIW brides to their weddings. It goes to show that friendships can be made on here - which should be celebrated!!! Who couldn't use some more friends?!

I'm sorry, but I personally (and I have no idea if any of this was even directed at me), am not going to apologize for 'clicking' with some people. I'm very thankful that this site was able to make those friendships.

Honestly, I don't know why some people are insecure over a message board. We all have our 'real life friends' so why are people getting upset on here?! Getting mad at people because they aren't 'talking' or 'responding' to you shouldn't be taken personally. People are busy and cant respond to every thread on here. I applaud you girls that do respond to everyone - you rock! But I know that I don't do that....so does that mean that I'm not welcome on here!? Because I don't answer every thread I see???

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Posted by beachbum05

Ok, I have to chime in. I'm sorry.

But I don't really understand the whole clique thing. I've been on here for almost a year...and I've met some people who I really consider close friends now because they too have been on here for a year. So, why is it so terrible if I talk to them frequently? Whether its through a thread or through FM? Yes, the board is all about planning weddings, but its also about meeting new people and making friendships.

Just because people talk to each other more frequently than others doesn't mean that they don't LIKE other people or don't TALK to other people! It just means that they have more in common with someone else. In the real world not everyone is best-friends-forever. With all of the different personalities on here there are bound to be clashes and also good friendships that are formed. I look at the 2007 boards and it makes me THRILLED to see so many LIW brides that are inviting other LIW brides to their weddings. It goes to show that friendships can be made on here - which should be celebrated!!! Who couldn't use some more friends?!

I'm sorry, but I personally (and I have no idea if any of this was even directed at me), am not going to apologize for 'clicking' with some people. I'm very thankful that this site was able to make those friendships.

Honestly, I don't know why some people are insecure over a message board. We all have our 'real life friends' so why are people getting upset on here?! Getting mad at people because they aren't 'talking' or 'responding' to you shouldn't be taken personally. People are busy and cant respond to every thread on here. I applaud you girls that do respond to everyone - you rock! But I know that I don't do that....so does that mean that I'm not welcome on here!? Because I don't answer every thread I see???

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I see your point as well. Mary (rysie) and I met when we went to TWOTY and have since hung out a couple of times we FM each other frequently. I dont think that makes me or her a bad person. I love the idea of making many friends from this site, which is why i think GTGs are awesome. I met some amazing girls from the GTGs, I mean if it wasnt for Jenn i would never have know about baby guinesses I too, look at the 07ers and 06ers and see how many were invited to eachother weddings, and i think thats awesome!! You are right that we all have our different personalities and interests and its that which causes us to gravitate towards those who are similiar. I think what was trying to be said was that she feels that because some of us are great friends already that those who arent on so much or who are new, arent given the advice/support we all deserve on this site. No harsh feelings or swings were intended. Lets all love one another