nwr - a vent

kimmaymb20 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:12 PM

nwr - a vent

I dont usually vent about things but this has been bothering me since yesterday.

FSIL graduated from school today. Yesterday we found out FH and I and I was kind of sad that I just found out because I would so have been there I love her to death and I give her so much credit living with her ex bf and taking care of my future nephew. So originally Dave tells me that I wouldnt have been invited because she doesnt have enough tickets because everyone else was going FMIL,FFIL, Fgma and of course the ex and his family. So I get annoyed and I felt completly left out of a family function on Dave's family side. Then after I got mad Dave comes back and says oh you can still come mom made a mistake. I just felt that was a pity invite. So I havent spoken a word to Dave since yesterday morining. I feel I am owed an appology for feeling like I am not part of his family. I make every effort to make him feel comfortable with my family and sometimes I just feel not included on things. I also feel that Dave should have just kept it to himself about going to the graduation untl he found out details from FSIL. Am I just being a brat? I know I wouldnt have been able to go anyway since I wasnt going to drive to CT, drive back to work tomorrow to drive back for the weekend. SO now I am going to CT this weekend feeling so awkward. I dunno I am still hurt about this and Dave just kept brining it up today and I still havent talked to him just on texts. Ok I think I am done venting for now sorry.

lori7570 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:27 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

It sounds like it's less about the actual event and more about feeling left out. Can you try to talk to Dave about that? If you bring up the graduation he will just say that he invited you...

FallBride2010 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:32 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

Considering you couldnt go anyway, it was kind of dumb of him to tell you that you werent invited. But regardless, I do understand how you feel. He should definitely apologize. As for the family, if tickets were really limited, I guess they had to allow grandparents etc to come first. BUT, I would hope they would do whatever possible to try and get you a ticket. If I were you, I would try to put it behind you...or you will just make yourelf crazy. I know from experience. : )

kimmaymb20 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:34 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

i did its a dead issue now I guess and ill be over it.

grkbarbie Posted: May 21, 2009 10:36 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

its totally normal to feel the way u do! men are just dumb and say the wrong things. dont hold it against him. talk it out and tell him exactly how u feel. things will change. dontworry

FallBride2010 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:36 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

Posted by kimmaymb20

i did its a dead issue now I guess and ill be over it.

Hope you feel better! Families can be tough, but it's usually not worth letting it eat at you. I wish I could take my own advice! LOL

lori7570 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:36 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

Like I said, I think it is more important that you tell him you felt excluded. Forget the graduation part...I would just say it in a nonaccusatory way. He should know that your feelings were hurt...

kimmaymb20 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:42 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

thanks girls

JAAMS Posted: May 21, 2009 10:44 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

Posted by lori7570

Like I said, I think it is more important that you tell him you felt excluded. Forget the graduation part...I would just say it in a nonaccusatory way. He should know that your feelings were hurt...

I agree... and I would just try to keep it b/t the two of you, meaning that it's a problem with the two of you, and not involving just the graduation.

StaceYums81 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:47 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

I think they probably figured you wouldn't be coming anyway so they didn't invite since u are not local anyway - but then felt bad when they thought u wanted to go - it doesn't sound like it was an intentional snub though. I wouldn't be to upset over it...

lori7570 Posted: May 21, 2009 10:49 PM

Re: nwr - a vent

Anyway girlie

MikesBride2B Posted: May 22, 2009 01:45 AM

Re: nwr - a vent

Posted by kimmaymb20

i did its a dead issue now I guess and ill be over it.

Even if its a dead issue, I think you should definitely tell him how you feel...I've been going through this a lot with my FH because I was just letting things go when it was still bugging me and I ended up taking it out on him in other ways. I figured that even if the issue was dead I should still say 'For the future I just want you to know that I felt ____ when you did ____'...that way I didn't harbor resentment.

I hope this helps, I don't want any girls to go through that if they don't have to so I figured I'd add my experiences.

SummerBride10 Posted: May 22, 2009 06:11 AM

Re: nwr - a vent

I dont think Dave would purposely leave you out. And I dont think it was a pity invite. I think it was just Dave being a man...lol bri would have done the same thing. If something similiar happens again, def. talk about it.

rocketsummer17 Posted: May 22, 2009 08:08 AM

Re: nwr - a vent

I dont think Dave realized what he was saying...seems like a 'open mouth insert foot' moment. If your still upset about feeling left out say something to him...even if that was the case that they left you out(which it wasnt...I dont think they would do that to you) he should just learn how to rephrase the way he says things...