My FH and his brother want to take their dad to a soccer game as his Father's Day gift. They were talking about it after I left my in-law's house yesterday to go to work. Their dad, and their uncle, decided that they wanted to see a game July 31. My problem is Saturday, July 31 is FH's b-day and we always spend it together. He doesn't seem to have a problem missing his b-day with me. I would say we would do something special on Sunday, but I work from 5p.m. to 12:30 a.m. at a newspaper so I wouldn't even be able to take him out for dinner on his b-day weekend. I know it's kind of selfish of me, but I don't understand why that's the game they HAVE to go to.
Kriss2c
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
I would opt to celebrate his birthday the night before then. It's only one birthday out of the many you two will share.
chichila15
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
It's not actually selfish... you'll have many birthdays that you can share with him - maybe he really wants to celebrate his last single birthday before he spends the rest of his life with you.
nov04LIbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
Celebrate Friday! That's my birthday! I don't think it is that big a deal. I think I am going to be in Chicago visiting my MOH on mine. I'll have the rest of my life to celebrate with him!
aimerliny
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
What about taking him to brunch on Sunday before you go to work? Or dinner that Friday night?
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
Maybe I'm selfgish, but I would be SOOO pissed off. I'd feel really really hurt if FH didn't mind not spending his birthdya with me. I'd really be crushed. I don't think it's being selfish, I mean, you could say it's HIS birthdya, not yours, but I would feel really hurt that he would choose to not spend it with you. I don't have any advice to give, just hugs..
Xelindrya
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
This is gonna sound either sadistic or hopelessly romantic but here it goes……
No I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. It’s just a tradition you guys have.
At the same time, being that I never see my father but maybe once a year at most and all of my grandparents are dead, I always choose family over Jim. Family is important and Jim means the world to me and is now my own family but I see him everyday. I’d just celebrate his bday earlier or later. It would still be as important as if it were his technical bday. Sometimes schedules are going to mess up, you just gotta take what you can get and be happy you can spend time at all with those you love.
I just hope every year that Jim is healthy and with me to celebrate the little stuff. We spent New Years Eve once with me drugged up and my leg propped up with ice bags from surgery I had just had. Not exactly romantic and DEFINITELY not what we planned. Another year we got stuck in another State (ice storm) and couldn’t make it to a surprise Broadway show Jim had arranged for me. I’m just a romantic mess. I don’t care if we’re in jammies and both sick as dogs (which we were for our last anniversary) as long as we’re together we’ll find a way to ‘celebrate’ those days at one point or another.
JMO
Jan05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
Maybe I am in the minority here but I do not see what the big deal is. It isn't your birthday, it is his - and if he wants to spend his birthday at a soccer game well then he should. It's not like it's the one and only time you can ever see him. You can see him Friday night, you can see him Sunday day. You could probably even see him Saturday night after he gets home. He's not being mean and purposely dismissing you, he made plans with people to actually do something.
nferrandi
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
I think I'm mad because not only do we always spend his b-day together, but I always plan something special. He didn't even ask me if I had something planned, what if I had made surprise reservations to go away, which I've done in the past? Two years ago I threw him 2 surprise parties. Last year he just wanted to go to the beach so we wnet with friends and I payed for everyone to go out to dinner (on top pf getting him a new grill and an outdoor fireplace) He knows how importantly I hold b-days and I just feel like he disregarded that. Knowing me, I'll probably wind up having a huge surprise party for him when he gets home from the game, but then I have to share him with everyone instead having him all to myself!
Jan05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR-am I being selfish?
Posted by nferrandi
I think I'm mad because not only do we always spend his b-day together, but I always plan something special. He didn't even ask me if I had something planned, what if I had made surprise reservations to go away, which I've done in the past? Two years ago I threw him 2 surprise parties. Last year he just wanted to go to the beach so we wnet with friends and I payed for everyone to go out to dinner (on top pf getting him a new grill and an outdoor fireplace) He knows how importantly I hold b-days and I just feel like he disregarded that. Knowing me, I'll probably wind up having a huge surprise party for him when he gets home from the game, but then I have to share him with everyone instead having him all to myself!
He should have consulted you a bit. Fh always says 'I was gonna do xxxx, is that OK?' And I always say go ahead. But at least it's nice that he asks.
