NWR: But I need help!

This is a tough situation no matter what, because I think it's hard to not hurt his feelings by asking him to leave. Especially since he has been there for so long.
I think it is FH's job though and he should put your feelings ahead of his friends. He needs to just sit down and tell him that when he initially let him stay he thought it was a temporary thing, and it's gotten a bit out of hand.

tell you fh how you feel and let him know that he makes you feel uncomfy. Also dont take this the wrong way but tell him if he doesnt go then I go. that will get him out real quick .

Sorry, please dont take that the wrong way.

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Posted by kabo0831

tell you fh how you feel and let him know that he makes you feel uncomfy. Also dont take this the wrong way but tell him if he doesnt go then I go. that will get him out real quick .

Sorry, please dont take that the wrong way.

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dont worry... i would have said that way as well.

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Posted by Dr Meg

This is a tough situation no matter what, because I think it's hard to not hurt his feelings by asking him to leave. Especially since he has been there for so long.
I think it is FH's job though and he should put your feelings ahead of his friends. He needs to just sit down and tell him that when he initially let him stay he thought it was a temporary thing, and it's gotten a bit out of hand.

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i have to agree with her... you have to tell FH how you feel and tell him it's me or him (dont take that the wrong way) but some guys need to be pushed a little so they come to their senses... and it really has gotten outta hand... temporary doesn't mean permanent... plus you shouldn't have to ask him if it's FH's friend... unless you invited him in... tell FH to say 'hey we need to talk. I know that we opened the door for you to come stay with us while you were going through a rough patch. This was only meant to be temporary. But it's been a year now. And I think I should have said something sooner. I would really appreciated it if you could start to find your own place. Now that me and Jenn are getting married, we would really like to start our lives together. Please dont take this the wrong way, you're still my friend.......' he can finish the rest... hope that helps....

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Posted by pfjp

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Posted by Dr Meg

This is a tough situation no matter what, because I think it's hard to not hurt his feelings by asking him to leave. Especially since he has been there for so long.
I think it is FH's job though and he should put your feelings ahead of his friends. He needs to just sit down and tell him that when he initially let him stay he thought it was a temporary thing, and it's gotten a bit out of hand.

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i have to agree with her... you have to tell FH how you feel and tell him it's me or him (dont take that the wrong way) but some guys need to be pushed a little so they come to their senses... and it really has gotten outta hand... temporary doesn't mean permanent... plus you shouldn't have to ask him if it's FH's friend... unless you invited him in... tell FH to say 'hey we need to talk. I know that we opened the door for you to come stay with us while you were going through a rough patch. This was only meant to be temporary. But it's been a year now. And I think I should have said something sooner. I would really appreciated it if you could start to find your own place. Now that me and Jenn are getting married, we would really like to start our lives together. Please dont take this the wrong way, you're still my friend.......' he can finish the rest... hope that helps....

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I agree there needs to be a sit down mini meeting between the 3 of you...but esp. FH & his friend.

To be honest, thats such a sticky situation. The best thing to do, is to tell him that since you are now engaged, you want to start living a life together, and see if you guys (without him) are compatable! (although this is not true, make it seem like it has somethign to do with the engagement)

Also, explain to him that you want to see just how much living expenses for just the both of you will be to get an estimate....

and tell him you are more than willing to help him with the apt search etc...