So one of my BM's moved here a couple of weeks ago and is living with us until she finda an apartment... I have taken her out numerous times with my coworkers and she has become friends with alot, everything's been great until:
She, my BM, has been sleeping with my coworker and friend's boyfired (who also works with me)!!!!! I just found out!!!
I'm livid, and i found out because other co workers confronted me about it, and then i confronted her and she fessed up to hit! Im so ashamed of her! Not only dispicable act to do, but she also has no respect for me obviously, because when my coworker finds out, shes not only gonna be pissed at her bo, my friend, but also me.....
and i have a moral dillemma now, i do not condone infedelity! I've been cheated on before and the pain it causes is horrible, i want to tell my coworker that her boyfriend is a lying cheating piece of scum, before she finds out last.... you know it will surface, it always does.... and what do i do with my BM? a friend doesn't do this to another friend! I work with these people for christ sake!!!
kristi313
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Re: NWR: but kinda is need advice
this is a tough one. if you don't fess up to knowing you're just as bad for not saying something, but if you do say something it could still mean losing that co-worker as a friend and make things awkward.
your friend is wrong, what she's doing is just not right.
i think if the girl at work finds out from you, she'll do 1 of 2 things - thank you for telling her - or blame you b/c it's your friend and you brought her around. i don't know what to do
DCLM726
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oh wow this is quite a dilemma. I would talk to your friend first and see why she did it.
Either way, this can get ugly. The co-worker will either be happy that you told her or be pissed. She also may not beleive it either.
How close are you to the girl living with you and your co-worker?
JnD110808
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Posted by Teamhurldon
So one of my BM's moved here a couple of weeks ago and is living with us until she finda an apartment... I have taken her out numerous times with my coworkers and she has become friends with alot, everything's been great until:
She, my BM, has been sleeping with my coworker and friend's boyfired (who also works with me)!!!!! I just found out!!!
I'm livid, and i found out because other co workers confronted me about it, and then i confronted her and she fessed up to hit! Im so ashamed of her! Not only dispicable act to do, but she also has no respect for me obviously, because when my coworker finds out, shes not only gonna be pissed at her bo, my friend, but also me.....
and i have a moral dillemma now, i do not condone infedelity! I've been cheated on before and the pain it causes is horrible, i want to tell my coworker that her boyfriend is a lying cheating piece of scum, before she finds out last.... you know it will surface, it always does.... and what do i do with my BM? a friend doesn't do this to another friend! I work with these people for christ sake!!!
This is tough. I also do not condone cheating, but I always mind my business. I do not like to get involved. My FH's brother was always cheating on his gf. We all knew about it but never said a word to her. It's not our place to tell. We all felt horrible. Thank god he doesn't anymore.
Butterfly123
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OMG! This is really a tough position for you because she is your BM and obviously your friend. What they are both doing is horrible and it ***** that she put you in the middle of this situation. Have you confronted her about it yet? Maybe you can talk to her and tell he she to end things with this guy or you will not have her in your bridal party and possibly tell the girl you work with. Although I dont think that is the best idea either. I really dont know what I would do. I would be really pissed though. I hope it works out.
Snowflake08
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sorry, my only words of wisdom are stay out of it and do not get involved
i would not tell the girl about her boyfriend because what usually happens is they make up and both get p!ssed at you for butting in
DCLM726
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Posted by Snowflake08
sorry, my only words of wisdom are stay out of it and do not get involved
i would not tell the girl about her boyfriend because what usually happens is they make up and both get p!ssed at you for butting in
very, very, very true
blu6385
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i would suggest you try to get your BM to confront and tell your co worker ... then its up to you on how you feel about remaing friend with your BM ...
JnD110808
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Posted by Snowflake08
sorry, my only words of wisdom are stay out of it and do not get involved
i would not tell the girl about her boyfriend because what usually happens is they make up and both get p!ssed at you for butting in
I totally agree. But ur BM put you in a bad situation.
Teamhurldon
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i talked to BM about it and she said 'he initiated it' but im still like, *** is the matter with YOU?!?!? Ive known BM since high school so about 14 yrs... work friend 2,yrs but sweet gal.... she gonna be pissed either way.... i hated that others knew i was being cheated on and no one told me, i just keep thinking about that, and its flyin around the office, she gonna know soon, i just dont know if i should be the one to do it..... BM says its not happeneing again and they agreed to that but my coworker still deserves the right to know he aint stickin his dikkk just in her!
jgl
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Posted by Snowflake08
sorry, my only words of wisdom are stay out of it and do not get involved
i would not tell the girl about her boyfriend because what usually happens is they make up and both get p!ssed at you for butting in
I agree with you.. i was in a similar situation FH and I were friends with both people and we knew he was cheating on her and we couldnt tell her. we didnt even have proof, only what he would tell FH. It killed me not to tell her , but thankfully they are broken up now!!!! BUt they dated for 12 years.. my fear was that she was going to marry him. (but FH says that she must have known, how could she not - but i dont know)
Even though i didnt tell.. I really hate myself for not... and i know that i did the right thing, but its so sad that i couldnt. If it were me id want someone to tell me, but i know that people dont want to get in the middle.
sorry im not much help!
LuvMyAlfonse
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wow - holy soap opera.
If I was in your position I would confront my friend, and kick her out of my apt. Not before calling her all types of names and telling her what a scumbag I thought she was.
I'm a crazy biitch though and it doesn't take much to throw me into a rage so I wouldn't take my own advice.
And I would forever give my coworker's BF the evil eye b/c he's a douche too...
Espo22
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WOW thats a tough one
not only do you never do that but not when it also involves your job and makes it even worse, she really should have thought about the predictament she was putting you in.
Teamhurldon
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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
wow - holy soap opera.
If I was in your position I would confront my friend, and kick her out of my apt. Not before calling her all types of names and telling her what a scumbag I thought she was.
I'm a crazy biitch though and it doesn't take much to throw me into a rage so I wouldn't take my own advice.
And I would forever give my coworker's BF the evil eye b/c he's a douche too...
oh i told her she needs to start looking and that im so disappointed with her and think shes a cun*.... im a biiiitch too, believe me i havent sugar coated anything with her, also, i asked her a week ago if it was him she was screwing and she looked me in the eyes and said, 'no i wouldnt screw around with him, because i like his GF 'so-andso'..... my BM lied to my face!!!!
catsgirl
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obviously she is a toe stepper, i would not want her in my apt. around my fh, she obviously only cares about herself and nobody else, that is a real hurtful thing to do to somebody and it also puts you in a bad position. i had that done to me by a co-worker yrs ago, and when it got back to me i was so hurt i thought she was my friend and the drama and rumors that flew through work was unbearable for me. then after they broke up he tried to contact me with i love you i'm sorry ****, well hes a loser and i never looked back i told him she can have my leftovers, but i surely dont want hers. she got fired and i met the most wonderful man fh.
AMGBride2008
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You give your BM 2 weeks to find a new place because you find what she did dispicable. I would also tell her that in that time, she really should get her act together if she still wants to be a part of your wedding.
That SUUUUUCKS!
Teamhurldon
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I'm looking at the job boards online
Teamhurldon
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i really dont htink i can handle the drama.... that is about to surface....
Future Mulligan
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that is a hard situation for you.......and as wrong as it is for your friend to be messing around with this guy - he is the real a$$hole.....of course its not nice that your friend knows that he is in a relationship - but he is the one doing the cheating....im sure he will get caught - if it wasnt with your friend he probably would have cheated with someone else......
does your friend have strong feelings for him? what does he plan on doing with his girlfriend? is your friend just the 'other girl' or does he want to end the relationship with his g/f and be with her?
i really dont have any advice for you, it might be best to just try and stay out of it - but i know that is easier said than done.......im sorry that this happened to you.....
how old is your friend? has she done things like this before with other men?
Ohh jeez!
Teamhurldon
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the ******* not leaving his GF, and supposedly he and my BM called off their activities, but i dont think its right that my coworker has no clue that he cheating on her.... literally he was cooking his gf dinner and then going home and calling my bm out at like 4am..... booty call, she has no clue. my bm 28yrs old, has never done this before, on rebound from 3 yr relationship broke off by her making decision to move to nyc from mn
