NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

EsquireBride Posted: Apr 24, 2008 04:57 PM

NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

Do not quote, may erase in near future:

I work in a very professional office in midtown and one of my assistants has lately been wearing very revealing, low-cut tops (without the usual 'safety camisole' underneath). One of the partners I work with thinks she should perhaps tone it down a bit, but he doesn't want to say anything because he doesn't want to appear to be making a 'body' comment about a much younger woman. I totally agree that her dress is really unprofessional (fine for a racy date after work, but not for a closing on a billion dollar transaction!). How do I help solve this problem and talk to her without being a total b**ch?

We want to avoid telling HR - we don't want to embarass her and would rather solve this internally, because she is a really great worker!

HELP!!!

MakingofaMulligan Posted: Apr 24, 2008 04:58 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

Office wide memo regarding dress code policy coming from HR

MakingofaMulligan Posted: Apr 24, 2008 04:58 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

should've said - a reminder about office dress code

I've worked for large investment banks before and that was a common problem.

EsquireBride Posted: Apr 24, 2008 04:59 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

We want to avoid telling HR - we don't want to embarass her and would rather solve this internally, because she is a really great worker!

michesq Posted: Apr 24, 2008 04:59 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

yep generic office memo to all should cover it

Soon2BMrsC09 Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:00 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

yea id get that out - or just pass it to HR that you have been noticing it becoming a problem - that way you dont point her out and it can hopefully solve problems in other offices as well.. good luck

shell1879 Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:02 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

yup i gotta agree office memo advising of proper dress atire should do the trick

good luck

CMS Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:02 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

Posted by MakingofaMulligan

Office wide memo regarding dress code policy coming from HR

Agree.

Usually we get the generic 'It has recently come to our attention that [identify the problem]. Just to serve as a reminder...' and then they rehash the company policy.

Every year around this time we get the email that talks about the difference between beach wear and office attire, so it really shouldn't be a problem.

And if that doesn't work, my firm will actually have the HR person call the offending dresser in and send them home for being inappropriately dressed for the office.

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:04 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

wow thats a tough one! i think that memo may embarrass her even more though if people know who its directed towards... put yourself in her place, what if you found out a mass email went out to everyone and it was really directed towards you? thats a horrible situation to be in imo!

i think theres ways to tell her personally without it nasty... and i dont think shed hate ya for it... but you never know....

CMS Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:05 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

Ooops..sorry didn't see that you didn't want to involve HR.

Then I would have a more seasoned female employee who dresses approriately talk to her privately that she's heard people talking about the way she dresses and to remind her what the dress policy is.

I work for a law firm and usually we just say, 'Some of the older partners have commented on...'

Good luck

MakingofaMulligan Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:08 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

You don't have to tell on her - ask HR to send out a reminder about the dress code policy...etc.

FutureMrsLV Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:11 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

I would do it more casually and just be like listen Im telling you this personally girl to girl. I have noticed your not following dresscode and Im just trying to look out for you before management/ HR gets involved, just tone it down a little bit before someone says something

FutureMrsLV Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:12 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

Posted by FutureMrsLV

I would do it more casually and just be like listen Im telling you this personally girl to girl. I have noticed your not following dresscode and Im just trying to look out for you before management/ HR gets involved, just tone it down a little bit before someone says something

oh and mention that shes a good worker and shes valuable to the whole office thats why you dont want to see her get in trouble for something that can be fixed so easily

always day something positive to make the negative not so harsh

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:15 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

Honestly, I would be more uncomfortable telling her than I think she would be in hearing it so I would bring it to HR's attention.

Cacarina Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:16 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

Posted by FutureMrsLV

Posted by FutureMrsLV

I would do it more casually and just be like listen Im telling you this personally girl to girl. I have noticed your not following dresscode and Im just trying to look out for you before management/ HR gets involved, just tone it down a little bit before someone says something

oh and mention that shes a good worker and shes valuable to the whole office thats why you dont want to see her get in trouble for something that can be fixed so easily

always day something positive to make the negative not so harsh

this is a great solution!

lanamanitta Posted: Apr 24, 2008 05:35 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

I too would recommend doing it one on one, woman to woman . . . professional to professional. She'll appreciate it, and take it to heart . . . the message cannot be missed or misinterpreted, while a general email could be (she didn't pay too much attention the first time), and in helping her out, you gain an ally if you didn't already have one!!!

flairforfashion Posted: Apr 24, 2008 06:30 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

I don't think anyone should tell her directly- that could be deemed as unprofessional. I would have a memo sent out discussing summer dress code. That way she won't know it is directed towards her.

bluegreen08 Posted: Apr 24, 2008 06:37 PM

Re: NWR but NEED URGENT HELP - low cut dress at work problem!

i think the dress code e-mail or letter in mailbox or whatever is probably the best way to do it. when the law firm I worked at this summer changed dress code from business attire to bus cas they sent a mass e-mail with the new policy and went into hilarious detail re: what was appropriate (no denim shirts, no leather pants, no tube tops, ) but it just came from HR.

It's starting to get warm out so it's a good time to send one without making it seem like it is targeting anyone in particular. I wouldnt tell HR you are talking about anyone in particularl though.

If you really dont want to get HR involved, I agree that someone could mention something directly but that might be more embarrassing for her.