NWR: Dear _______

Dear Chase Bank,

Thanks for scaring the heck outta me by calling me and telling me you want to talk to me in person .... as I was freaking out about the possibility that someone stole my account info, or that i am out of money, you were so joyously talking to me about BS. .

Please stop calling me for ridiculous reasons, you money-hungry bums!

Thanks again for the heart attack,
-- a not-so-loyal customer

booooooo! jerks!