NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
AllJoy
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NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
Background- I have a friend that I've know for 15 years. She's divorced w/kids. (she has no boyfriend) Our friendship kind of fades in and out and there are times when we don't see or talk to each other for a while. There was never any arguements, thats just how it is. Last weekend was my shower and this friend never RSVP'd. She claims she lost the invitation. (She was invited w/her daughter cause I know she only would've known MOH and MOH was busy running the shower) I sent her an email on Monday and she said she went to the Met game which was at 8 pm and before that she had to go to dinner first w/friends. (Meanwhile my shower was at 1 pm and was local-whatever). She said she felt bad she couldn't make the shower and has a gift for me. Ok, so this friend is having a surprise party next month and I don't want to go. (I didn't want to go before my shower cause there are people there from our old job that I can't stand). I also don't want to go cause I will have to spend extra $$ on an outfit and a gift (its in a restaurant). I figure if we don't go then I will spend less $ on a gift. Does it look like I'm not going cause she didn't go to my shower? I am going to say we are going out for my cousin's 21st birthday (which is actually true but is the following weekend). BTW this friend claims she is coming to our wedding.
MF9282
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Re: NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
U can tell a little white lie no worries. You have a lot going on with the wedding and even though I am sure she is busy with her children and bla bla you can just say oh we'll do lunch and catch up! hahah
EverlovingEv
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Re: NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
I've always believed that true friends are the ones that are there for you during life's unforgettable and precious moments - bridal shower, birthdays, weddings etc....
This past year I've found out that a few ppl I thought were good friends are not such good friends afterall. If someone is given 3 months to decided if they can come to my wedding and then tell me a month prior to the big day that they can't go without a good explanation - they're forever crossed out in my book.
My opinion - don't waste time on 'maybe' friends and spend time cultivating lasting friendships with your close friends instead. The woman that you aren't close with and woman that you're trying to avoid by not coming to her party is clearly not a close friend - so why bother playing this game? I think you guys both understand that you're not good friends so I think it's best to just stop calling/emailing and that way you won't be hurt when she/you don't show up to birthdays, weddings etc....
jessandjimiswedding
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Re: NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
she might see it that way. she might think ur not going b/c she didn't go to urs. good thing it's a suprise and you don't have to tell her beforehand.
Pinkiegirll07
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Re: NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
Posted by EverlovingEv
I've always believed that true friends are the ones that are there for you during life's unforgettable and precious moments - bridal shower, birthdays, weddings etc....
This past year I've found out that a few ppl I thought were good friends are not such good friends afterall. If someone is given 3 months to decided if they can come to my wedding and then tell me a month prior to the big day that they can't go without a good explanation - they're forever crossed out in my book.
My opinion - don't waste time on 'maybe' friends and spend time cultivating lasting friendships with your close friends instead. The woman that you aren't close with and woman that you're trying to avoid by not coming to her party is clearly not a close friend - so why bother playing this game? I think you guys both understand that you're not good friends so I think it's best to just stop calling/emailing and that way you won't be hurt when she/you don't show up to birthdays, weddings etc....
Ev, very well put!! I totally agree with this. Why waste your time on friends that aren't good to you? You deserve a better friend than this woman!!!
Mrs_C_in_'07
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Re: NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
This is a stressful, money crunching time for you. I think it was rude of her not to come to your shower. Telling a little lie to get out of going to something for someone who didn't even have the decentcy (totally not spelled right) to RSVP to your shower to save you a little money is totally fine.
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
I wouldn't go and I wouldn't feel bad about it. You don't even need to tell her why you can't make it, but if you feel like you have to, then tell her what you like.
I agree with Ev though... There's just so much going on in our lives that it's kinda not worth it to deal with someone who really isn't being a friend to you. Seriously, she has a gift but couldn't make your shower because she wanted to go to dinner with other friends and then went to a game? Whatever, that would annoy me.
milana
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Re: NWR: Do you ever lie about not being able to attend a party? (sorry this is long)
I agree with Ev. She said it perfectly. Invest all your time and energy into people who know will do the same for you back. No point in waisting time on people that arent your true friends.
