nwr: edit/revise my cover letter

Opinions please??? I have a great opportunity and I want everything to be perfect so I get the interview. Honest thoughts pleassssssse.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!




Hello! My name is Jackie Ingoglia and I am currently teaching 7th grade ELA in Queens; however, my true passion is teaching math. I taught math previously for 3 years, and would really love to go back to teaching math.

I started teaching in 2006 as a NYC Teaching Fellow. I wanted to teach in a high needs school, and math was a high needs subject. I enjoy teaching mathematics, and I have seen a lot of success with my students in the past four years. They have improved tremendously on the state exams and in my classroom. I have seen a lot of progress, and I believe that having high expectations for ALL of my students contributed to their improvement greatly. I believe that every student is unique, and should be looked at as an individual with various needs and interests. I implement a variety of teaching methods in my classroom to account for all of my students’ diverse needs and interests. The learning experiences in my classroom are both inquiry and problem based. It is important to give students the ability to discover problems and solutions on their own - to have the teacher act as a guide. I want the learning experiences in my classroom to be open-ended, student directed, and student initiated. Students need to have a sense of empowerment and feel a part of their learning process.

I want to improve my students’ critical thinking skills, and I want to instill in them a love of learning; this is the true reason that I went into teaching. I have strong classroom management skills, and I have a great rapport with my students, and my colleagues. My classroom is an extremely positive place, where students feel comfortable and respected at all times. Students work extremely hard in my class, but at the same time enjoy coming to my class and have fun learning. I have strong assessment skills, creative lessons, engaging activities, and I am skilled in the workshop model.

Please let me know when you would like to set up a day for me to visit your school. I would love to observe a class and meet with you. Also, you can contact me if you have any questions about my resume. I look forward to speaking with you.

Thank you,
Jackie Ingoglia

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Posted by brittndave

k i'm still reading, but the first thing i noticed.... don't abbreviate ANYTHING! spell out ELA and NYC

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Thank you!

In the second paragraph you start two sentenced in a row with the words 'I have seen' I would definitely change one of those.

ETA: You should begin sentences like, 'implementing a variety of teaching methods.(give purpose of why you do that)...' instead of 'I believe or I was to implement....' Think there may be too many 'I's.

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Posted by jackieee

OK thank you! I'm so bad with this shiiiiit. If I'm in an interview, I'm FINE, but cover letters and resumes blaaah. I just really want this position. I know this needs a lot more work though. The person who recommended me says the guy reading these likes to know something about you. Is there enough things about me, or do I add something personal? so confused

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I think this is enough about you. No employer should know much more before even meeting you. JMO

ok here you go! i hope you don't mind that i changed a lot of stuff around! you should focus on the positives and be as professional as possible in a cover letter, so i took out the part about you teaching ela instead of math -- they will see that in your resume -- and focused on the math part!

To Whom It May Concern (or Dear Mr./Ms. ____ if you know who you’re writing to):

With four years of hands-on, successful teaching experience, I am confident in my ability and passion to become a positive addition to your school community as a Mathematics Teacher.

In 2006, I began teaching through the New York City Teaching Fellows program, and my desire was to teach in a high needs school. Mathematics was a high needs subject, so I decided to begin my teaching career there and have had a strong passion for it ever since! (Add grades taught, degrees/certifications, and any specialities – maybe the workshop model you mentioned (I dunno what that is) here).

I have seen a lot of success with my students over the past four years, which I attribute greatly to my understanding of, and interest in, the diverse needs of each student. One of my core focuses as a teacher is that every student is unique and should be looked at as an individual with various needs and interests. The ability to embrace this notion requires great patience and understanding, as well as the willingness to implement new methods and techniques into the classroom. It is my firm belief that a teacher should act as a guide to learning, and that their students should be given the opportunity to experiment so that they may discover the solutions to their problems on their own. These ideas, along with the high expectations I hold for my students, have resulted in great progress that can especially be seen in their increasingly improving grades and state exam scores.

Learning experiences are more valuable when they come from a classroom like mine that is open-ended and student directed. This gives students a sense of empowerment that not only helps them in my classroom, but also in other classrooms and even in their lives outside of school. The learning experiences in my classroom are both inquiry and problem based so that the students are given the opportunity to greatly enhance their critical thinking skills, something that is also important through all aspects of their lives. Overall, I strive to maintain a classroom where the environment is always positive and where students feel comfortable and respected at all times. I expect my students to work hard in the classroom, but I also expect them to have fun so that they can develop a true love of learning; the real reason why I decided to become an educator.

Being a hard-working and dedicated educator, I welcome the opportunity to meet with you to further discuss the extensive qualifications, innovative classroom skills, and understanding nature that make me the perfect candidate for the Mathematics teacher position at ______ School. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Jackie Ingoglia

Another thing I would add is a paragraph at the end that's specific to each school. When I was applying, I would find out as much as I could about the school and then say ________'s emphasis on interdisciplinary learning (or whatever that school's big thing was) appeals to me because _________.

I also think you can abbreviate ELA if you're including it, because it's a common abbreviation in the NYC school system, but I can see why you wouldn't, too.

you switch tenses at time, so it makes it a bit awkward...
and i know they're always really intense when its an ela cover

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Posted by GiannisWifey

I wouldn't abbreviate, caps anything like all uppercaps (ALL), and I would spell out Mathematics.

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and i agree about the uppercase thing-i SCREAM at my students for this..drives me bonkers

Thank you all sooo much! I did this really quickly before. I will go back and fix the things you girls said. :)

Special thanks to brit!!! That helped a lot!