NWR: FH Job Vent

Sorry girls but I need to get this off my chest to someone...

FH has been working in a really crappy job for a few years now and has been talking about starting a real career but never actually did it, this was mostly before I came along. Now that he's realizing what he wants for his future he starting studying and training to be a financial advisor, problem is, the studying/training takes a super long time and its not paid by the company, so he still works at his crappy job and does all the training on his free time.

Last night his trainer and lead advisor emailed him and said that eventually he's going to need to put more time into the training and although it may be possible, he has never seen anyone finish the training while still working a full-time job. So FH forwarded me the email and said we'll discuss it tonight (Don't forget we're currently in different parts of the world).

... if he quit his job, I have some savings to cover his share of the expenses until he starts up full time (it may be like 3 months), but that would blow through our wedding savings and maybe my new car savings too.

But if he doesn't quit, then it looks like he can't finish the training for the new job, and therefore is in the same boat he started with... no new job, same old crappy paycheck, and he just wasted his summer studying for licenses he can't use.

He hasn't let me know his feelings on it yet, I know he really really wants to get out of his old job, but I think he's getting frustrated with this place too because they weren't really clear on what he needed to do for his training.

Man this was long, I feel like there are so many other complications with it too, but I'm trying not to write a novel! Sorry for the vent, I just needed to get it out, and now I feel better :) Thanks!

Thats what were here for.. vent away!

I'm sorry to hear that and hope it all works out... keep us updated!

does he like the financial industry? would he be working off commission afterwards? Bc it's a really bad field to be in right now in general.

does he want o devote the time to it if it's possible he'll get laid off or can't get a job when he moves?

Well thats part of the problem, yes he'll be working on commission for the most part.... like a smal base pay (but manageable) and and a percent commission. The reason he likes this company is because they are near most air force bases, problem is, I don't find out where I'm moving until Jan/Feb!!! So we have no idea if the branch that will be by us when we move will be hiring.

thing is though, even if they weren't, he would still be moving with me-- he's made that decision, so he would be trying to find a job anyway.

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Posted by MrsJPH2012

Well thats part of the problem, yes he'll be working on commission for the most part.... like a smal base pay (but manageable) and and a percent commission. The reason he likes this company is because they are near most air force bases, problem is, I don't find out where I'm moving until Jan/Feb!!! So we have no idea if the branch that will be by us when we move will be hiring.

thing is though, even if they weren't, he would still be moving with me-- he's made that decision, so he would be trying to find a job anyway.

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I totally didn't see this vent post...
So, if FH is moving with you anyways, what's the problem? He will still be looking for a new job right? Everyone knows that the financial industry is terrible right now, just the same, it could be the complete opposite tomorrow! That's the nature of that field (that's why I'm not in it!) But, I think your real question is whether or not you really want to dip into your savings. If you can manage without blowing all of it, and, you think you have enough time to save up again, he should committ to the training. In the end, it's what he wants right?

True... he is moving with me no matter what. His concern is if we use some savings now and don't pay it back, then when he's looking for another job when we move we're out of our savings. I don't see it being that dire, I totally think we'll have enough so long as this new job works out well.

I think that if he takes this new better job he will be in a better position to find a good job when we move, where if he doesn't then he has no good training or skills for finding a job at our new location (wherever that may be).

I also think he's scared of taking a new job, which is why he's been at the same crappy job for the past 5 years. My issue with that is... grow up. I told him that I couldn't be with someone who wasn't pulling as much weight as me, and I I told him he needed to get somethign better if we were going to stay together. I never told him but my original plan was if he didn't get something by the time I got back from my deployment I was going to leave him (that was before we were engaged). Now things are a little different.

He still hasn't really talked to the new bosses though, so we're hoping next week we'll have a better idea on what to do.

Your situation is very different from mine so I can't really compare but I will try to offer some advice!

FH is a few years younger than me, so when we moved in together, I started my career. Meanwhile, he was working as a waiter and hadn't finished college. He had no idea what he wanted to do in his life and I couldn't really blame him since he was younger than me and when I was his age I didn't know what I wanted to do either.

We really struggled for awhile, and he kept starting school and then not finishing it. He decided to go into the NYPD and because of medical problems had to leave. He still hadn't finished college at this point and was really mixed up about what he wanted to do. So he was going to enter the next police academy so in the meantime he went back to work at the restaurant.

Long story short, he was working at the restaurant and then decided NOT to go into the police academy because he wanted to explore other opportunities... he then lost his job last summer as a waiter and was unemployed while I was working. Luckily he was able to collect unemployment, but basically I was supporting us for the time he was out. It was really hard but with my salary and what we had saved, we were able to survive. I didn't want him to feel pressured into a career that he didn't want, so I was OK with him taking the time to really figure out what he wanted to do. In Sept of last year, he finally found his career. And a year later he is really thriving and making great money.

I think that if he feels confident in his new career choice, maybe you should support him... I know it's difficult but it will be worth it in the long run. Your FH will be happy, and it will pay off financially. You have to figure out if you will be able to afford it... it's too bad he can't collect unemployment in the mean time..... maybe it's worth looking into?

I understand what you're saying... I don't want to pressure him into something he doesn't want to do. This February I bought him the 'what color is your parachute' job book to see if it would help. He decided to read it and take part in the exercises which I did with him. I don't want to pressure him into doing something he doesn't want, but he needs to do something.

He's 3 years older than me and I've been in my career for 3 years now. I don't have a problem making more money then him and helping provide, but on the other side, he's 28 years old. I'm sorry he never took charge of his life before but I won't be with someone who isn't my equal.

Thats not to say he's not trying now, I think he was really lazy before he met me and he admits it, so I can't be mad at the fact that he didn't have a better job before meeting me (I try so hard not to let it frustrate me).

Anyway, we looked into unemployment and it won't work because he's not getting fired from his job...he would be leaving it on his own free will.

Anyway, he has a lunch with his advisor today and he said he's gonna get the whole thing sorted out, wish us luck!

Well I hope everything works out with the advisor today. Hey, he can get fired if he wanted to

Haha true if he gets fired at least there is a chance at unemployment!

Yeah it is kinda two fold but I tend to ramble so I couldn't get everything out on the first post. 1- there is the money issue, and 2- I really want him to have a career and be happy with it like I am

I know there are lots of couples who make it by with one salary for a period of time, I just always expected that with as much as I save and as hard as I work, I would have the nice car, and be able to go out to dinner and go shopping without worrying about all the bills i had to pay because I'm covering two people- but now I'm sounding selfish!

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Posted by MrsJPH2012

I understand what you're saying... I don't want to pressure him into something he doesn't want to do. This February I bought him the 'what color is your parachute' job book to see if it would help. He decided to read it and take part in the exercises which I did with him. I don't want to pressure him into doing something he doesn't want, but he needs to do something.

He's 3 years older than me and I've been in my career for 3 years now. I don't have a problem making more money then him and helping provide, but on the other side, he's 28 years old. I'm sorry he never took charge of his life before but I won't be with someone who isn't my equal.

Thats not to say he's not trying now, I think he was really lazy before he met me and he admits it, so I can't be mad at the fact that he didn't have a better job before meeting me (I try so hard not to let it frustrate me).

Anyway, we looked into unemployment and it won't work because he's not getting fired from his job...he would be leaving it on his own free will.

Anyway, he has a lunch with his advisor today and he said he's gonna get the whole thing sorted out, wish us luck!

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It will all work out... we are at a crucial age, we are all adults, we have careers, we are getting married.... that's a lot and there are sooo many big decisions that need to be made. Don't worry! Good luck with everything!