NWR-Grrr gotta vent

I am a little PO'd at FH and I know it's late and I just have to vent. FH had surgery a couple of days ago. He has been staying w/ me at my parent's house while he recovers. He is in a lot of pain, and I have been trying my best to provide him around the clock care. I have not truely slept since Wednesday night. However, I love Fh and am happy to do this for him. However since the surgery he has critiqued my attempts to care for him. Even though I have done everything...and I do mean everything...for him to make him comfortable, give him food that he can eat, monitored his meds, taken him every place he wants to go he tells me I did not jump fast enough to do this or that. He also said that he did not like the fact that I got upset w/ my mom for smoking right on top of him (right after a tonsilectomy). Then he lies to me of all things! Stupid stuff granted (well, only one was stupid, the other was potentially dangerous). I am about to lose my patients because after all me and my family have done, I definitely do not feel that we deserve that kind of treatment. I am exhausted and disgusted that he would lie to me and then say, well if you knew the truth, why did you ask? I understand maybe he is in pain, but being that the first lie was before the surgery I can not say it's all that. I don't want to blow up at him, but I am so furious that I can not sleep! I can take a lot of things, but dishonesty I can not handle...especially from my future husband!

I am sorry to be complaining, yet again. It's just that if I do not get this out of my system I will wind up w/ an arguement and I just do not have the energy.

I can totally sympathize. My FH broke his arm a couple of years ago playing hockey, and had surgery (huge plate in his arm, etc.). For two months I had to do all of our laundry by myself (which involves lugging it all to the laundromat), and pretty much anything else that required heavy lifting, or arm bending. I love him to death, but I wanted to kill him any time he mentioned playing hockey again! He would get annoyed about things he couldn't do, and I would have to bite my tongue about all of the things I had to do for him. Still, it was a definite learning experience, and ultimately he and his family were very grateful for my round-the-clock support. It went pretty far with his mom, I'll tell you that.

Is there any way that, for the next couple of days, you could just stay with him at his place? You definitely want to prevent friction between him and your mom, I bet!

I wish i knew what to say to make you feel better!!

my fh turns into a super baby when he is sick... and i cant even get started with the few lieing incidents that i have encountered!!

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Posted by Goldi1021

I'm going to keep it simple for you. Men are lousy patients. They cannot tolerate pain and discomfort the way women do otherwise THEY would have monthly periods and deliver children. No matter what we do for them, they will kvetch, kvetch, kvetch. But if YOU get sick? Nothing will get done and your house will look like a mess. Thats my take on things.

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I agree 110%. 5 days after a tonsillectomy he should be ok to do things for himself. Maybe stop babying him and try not to beat yourself up. I had my tonsils out as an adult and there was no one there to wait on me hand and foot. Please talk yourself out of thinking you are a bad care taker. You are not.

Like the other girls said...when men are sick they revert to being babies. This doesn't excuse his dishonesty but I can't say much about that b/c I don't know the details. Just don't beat yourself up over this

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Posted by gNi1125

Like the other girls said...when men are sick they revert to being babies. This doesn't excuse his dishonesty but I can't say much about that b/c I don't know the details. Just don't beat yourself up over this

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I'm going to have to agree with the rest of the ladies. It's a tonsilectomy - that's a same day procedure, and he's totally MILKING it...don't let him take advantage of you and your patience with him. JMHO

My FI had a tonsilectomy a little over three weeks ago, and he was up and running after 3 days - needless to say, not everyone recovers the same way, but he's a grown @ss man for F'sake! Tell him to shove a spoon of ice cream in his mouth and shutup!

You're doing above and beyond anyone woman should do, and if he's not happoy with that...he needs to grow up!