NWR: How can I help my friend through Postpartum Depression?

My MOH just had her first child in October and is having a hard time with Postpartum Depression. I don't have any children, so since I've never been through anything like this I really don't know what I can do to help her.

She is going to start seeing a therapist, which I'm really happy about.

She's says she's not having trouble bonding with her child, but she finds herself crying at least once a day. Everyone keeps telling her how happy she should be .... and she does want to be happy ...

I just wanted to know if you had any advice for how I can help her through it ...

TIA!

Thanks for the reply.

I have DEFINITELY not been the one telling her that she should be happy ... that's coming from her inlaws, etc.

We spoke for a while yetserday, and I reminded her that I'm always around to listen whenever she needs to talk.

I agree-all you can do is be there for her and give her support.

She knows she has postpartum and is taking action against it-that's the most important thing.

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Posted by kahlua716

The only thing you can do is be there and listen. DO NOT tell her she SHOULD be happy...she probably already feels guilty that she is sad at this time in her life and that makes it even harder. Seeing a therapist is a great first step. Good luck to her! I'm sure she'll be back to herself in no time.

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I completely agree with this statement.

I went through it and I can tell you it was really hard. I wanted to cry all the time. I really could have used someone to lean on. Someone to talk to. Someone to come over and help out. I was so overwhelmed and tired on top of everything.

I think her getting help is awesome and should just continue doing what your doing.. Be a good friend, listen and help out :)

I had mild post partum with my first... I think a lot of it is due to the fact that there is ALL of this build up and then... here's the baby. It is weird. I was happy... but VERY emotional.

And it is because your life undergoes a RADICAL change. And it all happens SO FAST. For nine months you are still 'you'. You can go out with the girls if you want, people call to see how you are feeling, you can still gossip and chat about this and that. In a lot of ways you are even the 'star'.

Then the baby comes. And suddenly all anyone seems to really care about is the baby. How he is. How big he's getting. How much he eats, blah blah blah. And you find YOU have changed. The majority of your conversation starts to revolve around poopy diapers and 2am feedings. And it is disconcerting because YOU KNOW you have other things you can talk about... but you don't really remember what? I was the first in my circle to have a baby and I felt so isolated because I didn't really think my friends could care less about the fact that the baby's belly button fell off and I could finally bathe him... Plus the whole dynamic of your relationship with your significant other changes.. you are no longer a party of 2!

A few things really helped me. One was breastfeeding. For the first 2 weeks, Robbie REFUSED to latch on. I was so depressed about it and had to pump CONSTANTLY. But when he finally did - I felt so much more bonded to him.

With regard to my friends, it really helped to have people who cared about ME. Going out with my friends every now and then really helped to reassure me that I wasn't about to be abandoned due to my newfound 'mom' status. My best friend would come over and kidnap me for lunch and a quick pedicure now and then. We would gossip and she wouldn't grimace everytime I started talking about poopy diapers or 2am feedings.

It's a rough thing to go through. But your friend is doing everything right. And she is really lucky to have someone like you who is willing to help her navigate through.