NWR--I am touched

FH is very close friends with a couple that I have gotten to know well since we have been dating. Recently, the wife's best friend died very suddenly, at a young age. The wife came to my shower and told me that her and her best friend used to have a tradition of going to the wineries and pumpkin picking in the fall on the east end with their husbands. Now that her friend died, she wants me and FH to continue the tradition and go with them this year. She said maybe next year she will invite the other girl's husband to join us but she can't ask him right now.

Anyway, I am touched to be asked to continue this tradition but I am really nervous. If I just laugh and be my crazy obnoxious self that day, would it be an insult to the situation? The girl who invited me is still very sad to lose her friend. The girl who died was someone who always laughed and had fun. Then again, if I act all serious, it becomes a sad day. I am also really nervous that my friend will expect this day to me just like her memories of past years with the girl who died.

I feel honored, yet so nervous. Is it silly for me to feel that way. Shouldn't I just go and read how my friend feels that day and act accordingly?

Also, if it was just a regular trip, I may have said no because I have too much wedding stuff to do, but should I put that aside because this is a tradition that my friend really wants (and needs) to carry on?

The death was only about 2-3 weeks ago and very sudden. My FH knew the girl but I met her only once. I always heard that she was really happy that FH met someone (me). We were at the wake and it was so sad.

Please give any advice on how not to be a jerk in a situation like this. The people who knew this girl are very in a fragile state right now and I don't want to make it worse.

Wow, what a situation. I think you should go and just be yourself. If you say the woman who died was always laughing and joking and that's the way you are , you should be yourself. Maybe it will make her happy to be with someone as fun-loving as her dear friend. Have fun and BE YOURSELF !!!!

Did I mention , you should be yourself

it is clear taht our friend thinks very highly of you and your FH and want you both there. Go and see how the day progresses. I am sure that even though she may be sad and at times may even breakdown-knowing that you are there to step up and make new memories will make the day go by.
I can see why you would be nervous but trust your gut and take it from there. Act like yourself-I am sure things will be fine-sometimes it is just about having your friends close to you.

I just hope she does not look back and realize that it was bad to try to continue the stuff she did with her old friend. This is all so new that she may not know what she really wants to do!

I do think that a day out east would be a nice time.

I would definitely go and I think that you should be yourself .....I am sure that this girl who lost her friend does not want the day to be a sad one, she probably needs a good time out. Of course there will be moments where she will be thinking of her friend and the times they shared doing this stuff, but she asked you to continue the tradition - now you guys can create new memories together!

How touching. I would be so honored. Go with her and be yourself with respect to the situation. It's an honor but it's also a responsibility.

Next year, you will have a handle on it better. Just see how it goes and try to enjoy yourself. It sounds so nice.